We’ve got 25 useless life hacks you’ll probably be surprised works! In the beginning, there was only darkness and confusion, but eventually, the Internet came along. Suddenly we could look up solutions to pretty much anything. It wasn’t just for homework help and proving you know more about movies than your friends. We started to find little tricks to make living easier.
These tricks became known as Life Hacks, and they are still very popular. Unfortunately, the people of the internet demanded infinite life hacks, and like Icarus, the content creators may have flown too close to the sun. These tips became impractical, cruel, and downright ridiculous. Still, they are technically life hacks, and if you’re desperate to avoid work, one or two might work. Probably not though.
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An Easy Way to Eat Eggs
Hopefully, you’re all looking for ways to help the environment Theses days, and a great way to do that is cut down on red meat. But, how to replace the protein in your diet?
A great, health-conscious way to get protein in your system is the ever-excellent egg. If you’re one of those people that doesn’t like eggs, try mixing them with cocoa, butter, flour, and water. Bake that mixture for a while, and I bet you’ll enjoy those eggs a lot more.
Let’s face it, not a lot of people are reading real books these days. We should though, but what are you going to do if you dust off one of the novels on your shelf and suddenly find yourself without a bookmark?
I mean why would you own a bookmark when you just started reading again? Should you find yourself in this situation, I recommend just grabbing any condiment out of your refrigerator, let’s say ketchup, and squirting a little on to the page you’re going to stop.
We all have bad days, especially if you’re in school. Well maybe not especially, but for the sake of the article let’s say it’s like that.
I’m keeping things dramatic. Anyway, when you’re in school and having a rough day, you don’t want to ruin those expensive textbooks. Just to be safe, I recommend laminating every page so the tears just slide right off.
People make mistakes. It’s okay to admit you did something wrong when it happens, but don’t let people suddenly think that makes them better than you.
Should you slip up in front of another person, and they dare to question you, immediately blurt out “How long are you going to hold this over me?” Put them on the back foot. Make them apologize. You deserve it.
Skip Washing Dishes
Dishes aren’t fun, and you’re probably a busy person, which means there’s a good chance dishes pile up in the sink sometimes. Next time your sink is empty, take a picture of the bottom, then print it out in full color.
Now, if your sink is full of dirty dishes, and visitors are coming over, just put that picture over the dishes and it’ll look like you have an empty sink. At least from far away. Maybe still keep your guests out of the kitchen.
Give Yourself Perfect Pitch
Speaking of guests, it’s good to have a party trick. There are very few people who have perfect pitch and you could be one of them.
Just memorize every song ever written, or at least all the popular ones. Then have your guests pick songs out and amaze them as you correctly list out the notes being sung.
Turn a Bad Day into a Good One
It’s hard to have a bad day when you come in to unexpected cash. So, to brighten up every day of your life, hide at least five dollars in every pair of pants. Repeat the money distribution on laundry day so the goodness never runs out.
Avoid Snake Bites
Did you know a high percentage of snake bites occur on the feet or legs? If you’re walking around an area with a large snake population, stay on your hands and knees, or if possible walk entirely on your hands. This will statistically reduce your chance of being bitten.
Celebrities seem to really hate the paparazzi. It’s understandable. No one wants hordes of photographers constantly invading their personal space. Avoid these leeches by never doing anything remarkable in your life.
Easy Job Tips
Finding a job can be tough. Sometimes it seems like there’s nothing good out there. Get a jump on the competition by avoiding the wanted ads and reading the obituary section. By the time bosses get around to putting an ad in the paper, they’ll already have your resume.
This one is unlikely to come up, but I want you guys to be prepared for anything. Suppose you find a magic genie, and three wishes just aren’t going to fix all the stuff you want to fix.
Everyone knows you can’t wish for more wishes, but no one ever says anything about wishing for more genies. Get as many as you can, even the ones that look like a blue Will Smith.
Reduce Your Food Budget
I love eating out, but I hate paying a lot for food. In order to save money, I just sleep till noon or later every day. That lets me skip breakfast entirely.
If you’re hesitant at all about skipping “the most important meal of the day” just start referring to lunch as breakfast. Tell yourself you’re really skipping dinner. This should trick your body into being healthy despite the missed meal.
Improved Smoke Detector
Most people have experienced the horrible noise a smoke detector makes when it’s low on batteries. Once they start chirping, you immediately have to go to the store to get batteries because it’s 2019 and you don’t just keep batteries around.
Avoid this whole mess by ditching the smoke detectors and replacing them with un-popped popcorn bags. If that salty, buttery smell hits you in the middle of the night, then you know to get outside. You might even get a snack to take with you.
Temporary Car Maitnence
Cars have problems every now and then, but it’s hard to come up with the money to get every little thing fixed. As long as they’re getting you from A to B, I wouldn’t worry about it.
So, next time your car is making a weird or annoying noise, just turn the radio up. It’s a high powered piece of engineering. Everything will work itself out while you jam out.
If you’ve spent any time on Tinder, you know the best way to meet people is by having puppy pictures in your profile. But what if you don’t want to meet people? What if you want to get rid of them?
Weirdly enough, puppies still do the job. If you’re constantly carrying puppies, no one can ask you for help with anything. Keep at least two on you at all times, and you can avoid humans entirely.
Avoid Restroom Awkwardness
After the cutest life hack on the list, it’s time to get a little gross. Our bodies all perform the same functions, but sometimes we’d rather others not be aware of these things. So, if nature calls when you’re in a difficult social situation, such as a date or bosses home, use this tip to avoid having to hold it.
When in the restroom, make as much noise as possible to cover up embarrassing noise. Bang on the walls, scream, maybe break something. As long as they can’t hear your true purpose, you should come out with the high social standing you went in with.
Lex Luther’s dad always said, “Land is the one thing they’re not making any more of.” This is usually most apparent when trying to find a parking space in a popular area.
There’s just not enough spaces. Luckily, cars are legally required to include hazard lights, or as I call them, parking passes. Pull right up to your destination and turn those suckers on. As long as you’re okay leaving your car idling, you can stay parked as long as you like.
Everyone loves the holidays. The only major bummer is having to buy gifts for people. Unless you’re Tristan, who I imagine says it’s his favorite part. Tristan aside, assuming you want to get out of this money sucking tradition, try starting a major fight with loved ones right before the holiday.
Usually talking “Star Wars” movies will do the trick. Timing is important here. Try to wait for the last minute on this one. Hopefully, they bought your gift early, and just reluctantly give it to you rather than throwing it away.
Spotify and Amazon Prime are pretty integral to our lives these days, and we imagine we’re not the only ones feeling this way. Unfortunately, these services are expensive. Luckily, college is free…ish. You don’t have to pay back student loans till you stop attending school, so why stop?
Major in everything. Become a renaissance man or woman. All the while you’ll be paying student rates for Amazon, Hulu, movie tickets etc. Keep this up till you qualify for senior discounts, and never pay full price for the best things in life.
we don’t keep up with science stuff or anything, but we’re pretty sure we still haven’t cured the common cold. We don’t have a life hack that can deal with symptoms, but if you shove a bunch of glitter in your nose, it’ll at least be a fun virus. You’ll feel like you won a game show every time you sneeze. I guess they say “laughter is the best medicine,” so maybe this is a cure. If so, you’re welcome, science.
Remember when puzzles were just fitting large wooden shapes into outlines on those shapes? Life was better then. “Adult” puzzles can be thousands of pieces and take weeks to complete. The art can be nice, but it’s usually not worth the time. Stop wasting your life putting puzzles together and just hang the boxes on your walls. It’s the same picture.
Fix Bad New Years Habits
It’s almost March, and I still catch myself writing “2018” instead of “2019.” Avoid this problem by taping a thumb tack, sharp side up, to the “eight” key on your keyboard. Hopefully you weren’t planning on using it for anything besides dates. Just remember to switch the tack over to the “nine” key next year.
On Demand Excuse
No one wants a flat tire, but if you find yourself with one, you might as well make lemonade with the metaphorical lemon life handed you. Take a picture of the flat tire and save it on your phone. Now you can be late to anything you want. Just send the picture to whoever is waiting on you with a caption implying it just happened. Then heroically claim you know how to change a tire and enjoy the extra sleep.
New Cups and Flatware
So we’ve established earlier that we hate doing dishes but we want to save the environment so that rules out disposable dishes. The best way to solve this problem is by making all your cups and plates out of Jello. Then you only have one mold to clean, plus a delicious dessert to finish every meal or drink.
Fix Everything Else
If these life hacks somehow fail to address all your problems, you can really solve any modern predicament by going off the grid. No one can bother you if they can’t get in contact. Live like the kid in “Into the Wild.” Actually no, he died. Do it like the guy in “Leave No Trace.” First, watch that movie if you haven’t seen it. It got snubbed by the Oscars this year. Anyway, the point is, run away from your problems.