Two Servings of Superpowers Please!
What are the superpowers you wish you had? Wait. Don’t answer that yet. It’s flying, right? Definitely, flying. At some point we’ve all dreamed of becoming superheroes. Bouncing around the globe and saving people’s lives is charitable, but it also comes with a lot of fame. In some ways, maybe the recognition is what we’re really after.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It seems unlikely that there’d be a lot of crime-fighting to do, anyway. The world has gotten a lot safer since superhero comics debuted in the 1940s. Those guys mostly fought supervillains, and in this fake scenario, what are the chances multiple people get powers?
We’ve seen all the ways that superpowers can be useful in stopping the bad guys, but the best unnatural abilities would honestly be the ones that make normal life easier. Things that help you relax more, and maybe make you a little fame and fortune. It’s time to fantasize about these 25 Superpowers you wish you had.
What’s better than having one superpower? Having all of them. This power loses some of its luster in an average world, but you could still copy some cool stuff. Swim as fast as Michael Phelps. Play guitar as well as Clapton. I’d like to write TV shows as well as Vince Gilligan.
Admittedly most applications of this are kind of creepy. If you happen to get invisibility powers, don’t be weird with it. Maybe just be a little unethical. Sneak in to your bosses office, and find out the perfect way to get promoted. Maybe walk past the bouncer of a bar with long lines. That’s not too bad. This is an okay power to want. Right?
The coolness of this power extends far beyond the ability to beat anyone up. You could make moving way easier on yourself. Plus, it wouldn’t be such a pain to help your friends move. Imagine all the free pizza and beer you’d get. I wonder if you’d get the muscles with the super strength. That would be nice.
When you’re old, pretty much everything hurts your back. Sleep on the wrong pillow, back hurts. Bend down to pick up a pen, back hurts. Uncharacteristically large sneeze, back hurts. With the power to heal, I could fix this. I could fix it for everyone.
Comic book heroes use this power to run long distances, or fight crime all night. I just don’t want to be tired after work. Maybe I’d have the energy for a social life or finish writing that web series.
Water breathing might not be as impactful as super strength or invisibility, but it would make scuba diving cheaper. Plus you’d always win breath holding contests, and who doesn’t like beating their friends at things? Also, this power would have been great for my competitive swimming career.
Think about how much you curse and cry every time you smash your toe on the corner of a piece of furniture. Imagine how much better your life would be if you just didn’t feel it at all. Sure, you’d also repel bullets, but that’s not going to come up as often as stubbing your toe. That’s the real upside to invulnerability.
Whenever people go back in time in the movies, they end up making the present much worse than the one we currently live in. I think it would be pretty easy to make strict improvements. Humans have made a lot of mistakes over the years. If you want to play it safe though, just go forward in time once and get the winning lottery numbers.
Remember when we thought about how much it hurts when you stub your toe? Night vision would make middle of the night bathroom runs much safer. That might be the only way to commonly use this power, but I think that’s enough.
This might make dating a lot easier, but it might also make it really depressing. People keep thoughts in their head for a reason. If you’re ready to hear some tough truths about yourself, you could probably learn something though.
Everyone hates traffic, and super speed would be a great way to avoid it. Just make sure you’re not running into people on the sidewalk at superhuman speeds.
Do you think having superpowers is wishful thinking? Not necessarily. Check out these 25 Incredible People With Real Superpowers.
Did you know that Chinese isn’t just one language. In the U.S., we usually teach Mandarin Chinese, but there’s hundreds of different dialects spoken in China. If I were going there, I would like to have the power to speak any language.
Have you ever taken a vacation to the beach and it ended up raining the whole time? It’s my least favorite way to waste money. I could avoid that by controlling the weather. Their might be consequences to getting real crazy with this one, though. All types of weather are important.
I don’t think this would be any faster than walking, but I don’t think it be much slower either. Walking is getting old, and I think a shake up would be nice. I can only do like do like two pull ups in a row though, so this might take some getting used to.
We’ve already discussed the advantages of knowing future lottery numbers, but always being aware of your future has a lot of other advantages. You’ll know exactly what to study before a test. You’ll know if JJ Abrams is capable of making a decent, original “Star Wars” movie. You can tell your mother when you’ll give her grandchildren so she can stop bugging you. Okay, getting too personal again.
If you’ve seen the movie “Jumper,” you already know all the awesome things you can do with this power. Unfortunately, that means you also had to sit through “Jumper.” To sum it up, you can go on any vacation instantly, rob banks easily, and date Rachel Bilson. Definitely an awesome power, and one with plenty of potential for a cool movie. Too bad.
24 hours never seems like the right amount of time in a day. Some days I feel like I don’t have enough time to finish everything I want to do, and other days seem to drag on forever. Time manipulation would give me the “just right” version of time. I’d just have to remember to not stop time in a moving car. The law of inertia says that would hurt.
Alex personal story alert: When I was in elementary school, I made my parents sign me up for gymnastics class, because I thought girls would like me if I could do a front flip. I’ve yet to be convinced that’s not true. I know you don’t need superhuman agility to do a flip, but if one flip is good, a bunch in a row must be better. There’s probably some “American Ninja Warrior” money to be made here, too, but I think testing my theory is the major reason to want this power.
Talking to Animals
Let’s talk some more about Lucina the cat. We’ve established in the New Years Resolutions article that she mostly doesn’t want to talk to people, but that’s mostly just conjecture. What if she has a lot to say, but runs away frustrated, due to her inability to convey advanced ideas? It’s possible.
This one might be a little controversial. It would be difficult outliving all your friends and family. Immortality makes the most sense when you have a vampire-esque way to make all the cool people you know immortal with you.
At face value, this seems like the most useful power on the list. You could be a wealthy doctor or engineer without having to spend six to eight years in school. Those jobs still take a lot of work though. If you could get on “Jeopardy” you could have an insane run, but that’s still harder than winning the lottery. I’m still giving the “most useful” award to precognition.
Another power that would only be extremely useful if you’re willing to hold yourself to a loose moral standard. Life would be pretty great if you could convince banks to give you all their money, and your boss to give you every promotion. I’d personally mind control a movie studio into producing my “Van Helsing” sequel.
Do you guys have that problem where you always leave your umbrella at home on rainy days because it doesn’t even look like it’s going to rain until you already left the house? Force fields would fix that problem. That’s the only non-crime fighting use I can think of. Maybe you don’t wish you had this. 25 is a lot of points. Are you sure you guys always want 25?
You know what wastes a lot of time? Opening doors. Imagine what you could accomplish if you could just barrel through walls, unimpeded till you got to your desired location. You could write a novel. You could at least read a novel. I haven’t clocked it, but I’m almost sure it would save a lot of time.
This one is saved for last because it’s probably the first thing you thought of. Flying looks cool. You’d get an awesome new perspective on the planet, and you’d avoid a lot of traffic and air travel fees. The only way flying wouldn’t be the coolest power is if it required you to keep flapping your arms to stay airborne. That would get tiring really fast!
That said, birds don’t seem to mind flapping their wings to fly, or cruise along with the wind, so maybe it won’t be so tiring. Once you get used to a routine, and your body is used to it, the routine becomes less of a hassle and more a part of you, so who knows. We’ll have to wait until we are able to take flight without the help of airplanes and such!
And there you have it, capping off our list of 25 superpowers you wished you had is flying. Do you think we missed anything on this list? If so, leave a comment in the section below!