It will happen! One day, it will happen! Mark my words! We all have that friend. He swears that whatever he’s talking about will eventually come to pass. Whether it’s the world splitting at the seams, aliens taking over, or Jaden Smith actually making sense, your friend swears by it. The only problem? It’s actually never going to happen. It just won’t. He wants to think it will because it makes his otherwise incredibly boring life slightly more interesting, but it won’t. It just won’t. Can you even think of a universe in which Jaden Smith would make sense? That’s utterly ludicrous!
Okay, enough joking. On a serious note, there are definitely some things that just won’t happen. For example, in standard, euclidean geometry, two parallel lines will never touch. It just won’t happen. But, back to joking (you thought we could stay serious?), most of this list is going to be tongue-in-cheek; not all of it, but most of it. That’s not a bad thing right? It’s good to laugh every once in a while. So get ready to shake your head in agreement (unless you’re that guy) because these are 25 Things That Will Simply Never Happen Even If You Want Them To.
Featured Image: potential past via Flickr
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Jurassic Park coming to an end
It’s like the Land Before Time for adults.
A Nigerian Prince who is actually in trouble getting financial help via email
Poor guy, the scammers ruined it for him.
Texas becoming a country
But man do they try…
Sorry again, Microsoft.
North Korea joining South Korea
But then who would we make fun of? Honestly though, not even (all of) South Korea wants North Korea. It would be a huge burden to assimilate.
Peace on Earth
We can’t even stop fighting with our own siblings. How are we not going to fight with other people’s siblings?
Two parallel lines intersecting
We had to go light after the whole “peace on Earth” thing.
Note: We are assuming standard, euclidian geometry
Argentina getting the Falkland Islands
They’ve wanted them since before they were even a country. A+ for effort, but UK still says no.
India getting the Koh-i-Noor diamond
The UK says no to this too.
They keep getting our hopes up…
The DVD logo hitting the corner of the screen
You saw it? Well, we don’t believe you.
Still searching for more of the impossible? Here are 25 Man-made Things That Are Nearly Impossible To Destroy.
Bolivia getting a coastline
For those of you that don’t know, it used to have one before it lost it to Chile. Bolivia still has a navy though…
Decrease in entropy
Reading the terms and conditions
Apparently there are still people going on about this?
The world being flat
Yes, there are people who believe this too.
Metric system in the US
Fun fact: the US actually went metric before almost every other country back in 1873.
And the Brits coined the term “soccer.” So there, take that non-America.
You can’t be at the top if you’re completely honest. It just doesn’t work.
This one kind of already happened. It’s called rabies.
Calming down after being told to calm down
The only people who think this actually works have never been in a serious relationship.
Traveling faster than light
Unfortunately, it’s just not possible. But interestingly enough, getting from one place to another faster than light might be. (wormholes, etc)
New Zealand changing its flag
Every few years New Zealand decides it wants a new flag, comes up with a whole bunch of designs, and then votes to keep the old flag. Is this supposed to be some kind of public creativity check or something?
Asymptotes touching the curve
It’s so close though!!
The question of “when will time travel happen?” seems a bit paradoxical.