25 Things That Will Simply Never Happen

Posted by , Updated on March 15, 2024

It will happen! One day, it will happen! Mark my words! We all have that friend. He swears that whatever he’s talking about will eventually come to pass. Whether it’s the world splitting at the seams, aliens taking over, or Jaden Smith actually making sense, your friend swears by it. The only problem? It’s actually never going to happen. It just won’t. He wants to think it will because it makes his otherwise incredibly boring life slightly more interesting, but it won’t. It just won’t. Can you even think of a universe in which Jaden Smith would make sense? That’s utterly ludicrous!

Okay, enough joking. On a serious note, there are definitely some things that just won’t happen. For example, in standard, euclidean geometry, two parallel lines will never touch. It just won’t happen. But, back to joking (you thought we could stay serious?), most of this list is going to be tongue-in-cheek; not all of it, but most of it. That’s not a bad thing, right? It’s good to laugh every once in a while.

So get ready to shake your head in agreement (unless you’re that guy)

because these are 25 Things That Will Simply Never Happen Even If You Want Them To.


Featured Image: potential past via Flickr


Jurassic Park coming to an end

Jurassic Park coming to an endSource: reddit

It’s like the Land Before Time for adults.


A Nigerian Prince who is actually in trouble getting financial help via email

A Nigerian Prince who is actually in trouble getting financial help via emailSource: thoughtcatalog

Poor guy, the scammers ruined it for him.


Texas becoming a country

Texas becoming a countrySource: 9gag

But man do they try…



BingSource: reddit

Sorry, Microsoft.



CalibriSource: reddit

Sorry again, Microsoft.


North Korea joining South Korea

North Korea joining South KoreaSource: 9gag

But then who would we make fun of? Honestly though, not even (all of) South Korea wants North Korea. It would be a huge burden to assimilate.


Peace on Earth

Peace on EarthImage: wikipedia, Source: thoughtcatalog

We can’t even stop fighting with our own siblings. How are we not going to fight with other people’s siblings?


Two parallel lines intersecting

Two parallel lines intersectingImage: wikipedia, Source: reddit

We had to go light after the whole “peace on Earth” thing.

Note: We are assuming standard, euclidian geometry


Argentina getting the Falkland Islands

Argentina getting the Falkland IslandsImage: wikipedia, Source: 9gag

They’ve wanted them since before they were even a country. A+ for effort, but UK still says no.


India getting the Koh-i-Noor diamond

India getting the Koh-i-Noor diamondImage: wikipedia, Source: imgur

The UK says no to this too.


Flying cars

Flying carsImage: wikipedia, Source: thoughtcatalog

They keep getting our hopes up…


The DVD logo hitting the corner of the screen

The DVD logo hitting the corner of the screenSource: reddit

You saw it? Well, we don’t believe you.


Still searching for more of the impossible? Here are 25 Man-made Things That Are Nearly Impossible To Destroy.


Bolivia getting a coastline

Bolivia getting a coastlineImage: wikipedia, Source: 9gag

For those of you that don’t know, it used to have one before it lost it to Chile. Bolivia still has a navy though…


Decrease in entropy

Decrease in entropySource: imgur

Thermodynamics bro.


Reading the terms and conditions

Reading the terms and agreementsSource: reddit

Bump that


Kony 2012

Kony 2012Source: 9gag

Apparently there are still people going on about this?


The world being flat

The world being flatImage: wikipedia, Source: reddit

Yes, there are people who believe this too.


Metric system in the US

Metric system in the USSource: imgur

Fun fact: the US actually went metric before almost every other country back in 1873.

And the Brits coined the term “soccer.” So there, take that non-America.



Honest politicians

Honest politiciansImage: publicdomainpictures.net, Source: 9gag

You can’t be at the top if you’re completely honest. It just doesn’t work.


Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie ApocalypseImage: pixabay, Source: 9gag

This one kind of already happened. It’s called rabies.


Calming down after being told to calm down

Calming down after being told to calm downSource: thoughtcatalog

The only people who think this actually works have never been in a serious relationship.


Traveling faster than light

Traveling faster than lightImage: wikipedia, Source: thoughtcatalog

Unfortunately, it’s just not possible. But interestingly enough, getting from one place to another faster than light might be. (wormholes, etc)


New Zealand changing its flag

New Zealand changing its flagImage: wikipedia, Source: reddit

Every few years New Zealand decides it wants a new flag, comes up with a whole bunch of designs, and then votes to keep the old flag. Is this supposed to be some kind of public creativity check or something?


Asymptotes touching the curve

Asymptotes touching the curveImage: wikipedia, Source: 9gag

It’s so close though!!


Time Travel

Time TravelImage: wikipedia, Source: reddit

The question of “when will time travel happen?” seems a bit paradoxical.