25 Things Women Say That Men Misunderstand

Posted by , Updated on April 6, 2015

You’ve probably tried learning French, Spanish, or German, but those are nothing compared to Woman (the language). Most scholars agree that the only thing more impossible than understanding the language of women is dividing by 0. You have no hope. Don’t even try. Whatever. See? You probably thought that all of that means you should just give up and not try anymore right? Wrong! Any woman will tell you that in the language of women, it means the complete opposite. Here are 25 things women say that men misunderstand.

25

Nothing

things women say that men don't understand

It is something. It is definitely something and you had better figure it out real quick.

24

Do I look fat in this?

things women say that men don't understand

A better translation would be “Do you think I’m ugly?” and the answer is categorically “no”.

23

Go ahead

things women say that men don't understand

Do not misconstrue this as permission. In fact, it’s more of a dare. Actually, its always a dare. Don’t do it.

22

No

things women say that men don't understand

It means “no”.

21

Yes

things women say that men don't understand

In most cases this also means no. There are exceptions but they are very hard to distinguish.


20

Maybe

things women say that men don't understand

Still no.

19

It would be nice if...

things women say that men don't understand

Everything following the “if” is meant to be interpreted as an unconditional order.

18

Fine

things women say that men don't understand

This means the argument is over and you lost.

17

It's okay

things women say that men don't understand

It’s never okay. This only means that she needs some time to figure out your punishment.

16

Are you listening?

things women say that men don't understand

You are not listening. There is no way to recover from this.

15

It's up to you

things women say that men don't understand

If you think this means you have freedom to choose then you are very, very mistaken. A much better translation would be “It’s up to you…to select the right choice which I know but I am not going to tell you because you should know.” Making the wrong choice will usually result in an “It’s okay (see #17).

14

*Loud sigh*

things women say that men don't understand

You might not think so, but this is actually a word and it can roughly be translated as “I can’t believe I have to stand here and put up with your stupidity”.

13

5 minutes

things women say that men don't understand

This depends on context. If she is getting dressed then it is most likely somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes. If you are watching TV then it is closer to 0 minutes. As in “why are you watching TV right now when you should be doing something productive?”

12

Whatever

things women say that men don't understand

This is like “fine” except significantly worse. In fact, many times it will follow #16 (Are you listening?).

11

Thanks

things women say that men don't understand

It means thanks. Say “you’re welcome”.

10

Thanks a lot

things women say that men don't understand

It’s a very small distinction but this is actually the opposite of “thanks”. Under no circumstances should you say “you’re welcome”. Typically that would land you back at #12 (Whatever).

9

Don't worry about it

things women say that men don't understand

This means she has told you to do something (possibly more than once) and she is now going to do it herself. Any further inquiries on your part will most likely result in #14 (*loud sigh*).

8

We can go anywhere you want

things women say that men don't understand

In most cases this means “You had better choose my favorite restaurant”.

7

We need to talk

things women say that men don't understand

You’re dead.

6

What are you doing?

things women say that men don't understand

This is actually not a question. It’s a statement akin to “You’re doing it wrong.”

5

Do you have to do this now?

things women say that men don't understand

Also not a question. It means stop doing what you’re doing and prepare for further orders.

4

You have to learn to communicate

things women say that men don't understand

“Communicate” can also be translated as “agree with me”.

3

I'm not upset

things women say that men don't understand

She’s upset

2

We need...

things women say that men don't understand

She wants…

1

I don't want to talk about it

things women say that men don't understand

She wants you to go away because she is still building up evidence against you.

SEE ALSO: 25 Normal Things The Bible Forbids But We Still Do »

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