25 Most Clever And Piercing Insults In History

Posted by , Updated on December 14, 2016

From politicians and leaders to actors and authors, these people are often the source of some of history’s greatest insults. Some of the insults are against individuals, some against groups of people (often men), and others against countries or nations. We say this as a sort of disclaimer and as a warning because we don’t want you to take offense at any of these. So, if you think you have some tough skin, these are 25 Most Clever And Piercing Insults In History!

Featured Image: Westsara via wikimedia commons

25

"If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, then they can sure make something out of you." - Muhammad Ali

Muhammad AliSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain)
24

"I like your opera. I think I will set it to music." - Beethoven

BeethovenSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: author's life + 100 yrs)
23

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

Mae WestSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1963)
22

"Only two things are infinite-- the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

Albert EinsteinSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1963)
21

"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses." - Elizabeth Taylor

Elizabeth TaylorSource: wikiquote, Image: pixabay.com (public domain)

20

After an MP asked Churchill whether he must fall asleep while the MP is speaking, Churchill responded, "No, it's purely voluntary."

ChurchillSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain)
19

"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher

Margaret ThatcherSource: wikiquote
18

"If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.Source: wikiquote, Image: no.wikipedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1977)
17

When asked what he thought of Western civilization, Ghandi replied, "I think it would be a good idea."

GhandiSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: expired copyright)
16

"We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, the marriage lasted four and a half years." - Nick Faldo

Nick FaldoSource: wikiquotes
15

"In my many years, I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress." - John Adams

John AdamsSource: wikiquotes, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: author's life + 100 yrs)
14

"Thinking is the most unhealthy disease in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any disease. Luckily, in England at any rate, thought is not catching." - Oscar Wilde

Oscar WildeSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: author's life + 100 yrs)
13

"The trouble ain't there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right." - Mark Twain

Mark TwainSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: author's life + 100 yrs)
12

"If you won't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning." - Catherine the Great

Catherine the GreatSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: first published before 1923)
11

"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you-- he really is an idiot." - Groucho Marx

Groucho MarxSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1977)
10

"Whatever women must do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton

charlotte-whittonSource: wikiquote
9

"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception." - Groucho Marx

Groucho MarxSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1977)
8

"The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children." - King Edward VIII

King Edward VIIISource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published before 1923)
7

"[Seeing President Gerald Ford] was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.” - Clive James

President Gerald FordSource: wikiquote, Image: en.wikipedia.org (public domain)
6

"Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go" - Oscar Wilde

Oscar WildeSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published before 1923)
5

When asked about an opera singer's execution, President Coolidge responded, "I'm all for it."

CoolidgeSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain via author)
4

"Americans will always try to do the right thing-- after they've tried everything else." - Winston Churchill

Winston ChurchillSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain)
3

"Prince Charles's ears are so big, he could hang-glide over the Falklands!" - Joan Rivers

Joan RiversSource: wikiquote
2

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

Billy WilderSource: wikiquote

If you enjoy hearing insults, check out 25 Incredibly Insulting But Funny Memes.

1

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." - Milton Berle

Milton BerleSource: wikiquote, Image: commons.wikimedia.org (public domain: published between 1923-1977)

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