Ours is an extremely litigious society with all sorts of mundane issues being settled in small claims courts everyday. And while some of these overblown issues make for entertaining television, there is usually at least some semblance of logic behind the lawsuit. Today, however, we are going to show you just how senseless humanity can be as you laugh (and probably cry) at these 25 astoundingly ridiculous lawsuits.
Generally speaking, most people probably wouldn’t mind being mistaken for a celebrity. Not Allen Heckard though. This Portland native filed a suit against Michael Jordan and Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, for making Jordan so famous that he was now suffering “personal harm” from always being confused for the all star.In January 2008 Thomas Delgado, a wealthy businessman from Spain, sued the family of a teenage boy that he hit and killed while driving his luxury automobile. The grounds for his lawsuit? A damaged front bumper.We all know Batman the superhero, but do you know Batman the village? Located in southeastern Turkey, the mayor of this small town filed suit against Warner Bros. for using the name of their village without proper permission. Unfortunately, they’re about 70 years late with the lawsuit.In 2007 Karl Kemp of Manhattan ended up suing a small group of homeless people for $1 million claiming that they were loitering outside of his antiques stored located on the lower East-side…because apparently that’s where homeless millionares congregateIn 2005 magician David Blaine was sued by Christopher Roller for using his “Godly Powers” without permission. On a side note, Chris also happens to believe that he is in fact the supreme diety and that one day he will have 1 million babies with both Katie Couric and Celine Dion. We wish were joking.Robert Lee Brock, an inmate at the Indian Creek Correctional Facility in Virginia filed a $5 million lawsuit…against himself. Evidently he had become so distraught over the fact that he had gone out and committed grand larceny that he felt as though he deserved to pay that amount. The problem was, he didn’t have a job, so naturally he asked the state to pay him for him. After Jonathan Russell went on a shooting spree in the Missouri manufacturing plant at which he worked, his mother filed a workers comp claim seeking benefits as a result of his death while on the clock.Richard Batista, the ultimate indian giver, sued his ex-wife for a kidney that he had given her 8 years prior while they were still married. Either that or $1.5 million.In 2007 Sentry Insurance sued 81 year old Anne Keipper over injuries that a meal delivery woman recieved when she slipped in Anne’s driveway three years prior. The delivery woman, Dolores Tanel, was named an involuntary plaintiff.One night in 2005 two teenage girls in Colorado decided to skip a school dance and surprise their neighbors with homebaked cookies. Big mistake. Although most of the neighbors enjoyed the surprise, Wanita Young ended up suing them after claiming that their knocks on the door instigated an anxiety attack the next day. Absurdly enough, she won $900 to go along with that plate of delicious chocolate chip cookies.Brian Delekta, a high school senior in Michigan, sued the school district to get his A changed to an A+. Apparently the class in question was a work study program that he opted to complete at his mother’s law office. After she gave him an A+ (big surprise), the school district changed it to a measly A. Why? Because that is the highest grade they recognize. Maybe next time he can sue for an A+++.Music publishers representing the late John Cage sued Mike Batt in 2002 for copying one of Cage’s tracks. You see Cage had what you would call a silent song on his album consisting of nothing but…silence. Mike also had a silent track on his album but apparently he didn’t get the memo…silence is not only golden, its also copyrighted.Joshua Hoge, the schizophrenic who stabbed both his mother and brother to death inside their Washington home was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Now, however, he is suing to inherit the estate of the mother he killed. Not only that, but he is also poised to recieve the $800,000 that his mother’s family recieved from the state when courts ruled that a public health clinic neglected to give Hoge his medicine.In 2000 Cleanthi Peters sued Universal Studios alleging that their annual Haunted House “Halloween Horror Nights” was scary and that it caused her emotional distress. You have to wonder though, which part of Halloween Horror Nights failed to give that away.After raping a patient in 2002 Edward Brewer sued Providence Hospital for failing to keep him from doing so. Not surpisingly, his suit was thrown out.1 2
Number 24 features squad cars from the Ottawa Police Service.