Allen Heckard vs Michael Jordan
Generally speaking, most people probably wouldn’t mind being mistaken for a celebrity. Not Allen Heckard though. This Portland native filed a suit against Michael Jordan and Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, for making Jordan so famous that he was now suffering “personal harm” from always being confused for the all star.
A Broken Bumper
In January 2008 Thomas Delgado, a wealthy businessman from Spain, sued the family of a teenage boy that he hit and killed while driving his luxury automobile. The grounds for his lawsuit? A damaged front bumper.
Batman vs Batman
We all know Batman the superhero, but do you know Batman the village? Located in southeastern Turkey, the mayor of this small town filed suit against Warner Bros. for using the name of their village without proper permission. Unfortunately, they’re about 70 years late with the lawsuit.
Karl Kemp vs The Homeless
In 2007 Karl Kemp of Manhattan ended up suing a small group of homeless people for $1 million claiming that they were loitering outside of his antiques stored located on the lower East-side…because apparently that’s where homeless millionaires congregate.
David Blaine vs Christopher Roller
In 2005 magician David Blaine was sued by Christopher Roller for using his “Godly Powers” without permission. On a side note, Chris also happens to believe that he is in fact the supreme diety and that one day he will have 1 million babies with both Katie Couric and Celine Dion. We wish were joking.
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Robert Lee Brock vs Himself
Robert Lee Brock, an inmate at the Indian Creek Correctional Facility in Virginia filed a $5 million lawsuit…against himself. Evidently he had become so distraught over the fact that he had gone out and committed grand larceny that he felt as though he deserved to pay that amount. The problem was, he didn’t have a job, so naturally he asked the state to pay him for him.
A Killer’s Compensation
After Jonathan Russell went on a shooting spree in the Missouri manufacturing plant at which he worked, his mother filed a workers comp claim seeking benefits as a result of his death while on the clock.
The Ultimate Indian Giver
Richard Batista, the ultimate indian giver, sued his ex-wife for a kidney that he had given her 8 years prior while they were still married. Either that or $1.5 million.
Anne Keiper vs Sentry Insurance
In 2007 Sentry Insurance sued 81 year old Anne Keipper over injuries that a meal delivery woman recieved when she slipped in Anne’s driveway three years prior. The delivery woman, Dolores Tanel, was named an involuntary plaintiff.
One night in 2005 two teenage girls in Colorado decided to skip a school dance and surprise their neighbors with homebaked cookies. Big mistake. Although most of the neighbors enjoyed the surprise, Wanita Young ended up suing them after claiming that their knocks on the door instigated an anxiety attack the next day. Absurdly enough, she won $900 to go along with that plate of delicious chocolate chip cookies.
Brian Delekta vs Michigan School District
Brian Delekta, a high school senior in Michigan, sued the school district to get his A changed to an A+. Apparently the class in question was a work study program that he opted to complete at his mother’s law office. After she gave him an A+ (big surprise), the school district changed it to a measly A. Why? Because that is the highest grade they recognize. Maybe next time he can sue for an A+++.
Silence is Golden
Music publishers representing the late John Cage sued Mike Batt in 2002 for copying one of Cage’s tracks. You see Cage had what you would call a silent song on his album consisting of nothing but…silence. Mike also had a silent track on his album but apparently he didn’t get the memo…silence is not only golden, its also copyrighted.
Josh Hoge vs The State of Washington
Joshua Hoge, the schizophrenic who stabbed both his mother and brother to death inside their Washington home was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Now, however, he is suing to inherit the estate of the mother he killed. Not only that, but he is also poised to recieve the $800,000 that his mother’s family recieved from the state when courts ruled that a public health clinic neglected to give Hoge his medicine.
Cleanthi Peters vs Universal Studios
In 2000 Cleanthi Peters sued Universal Studios alleging that their annual Haunted House “Halloween Horror Nights” was scary and that it caused her emotional distress. You have to wonder though, which part of Halloween Horror Nights failed to give that away.
Edward Brewer vs Providence Hospital
After raping a patient in 2002 Edward Brewer sued Providence Hospital for failing to keep him from doing so. Not surpisingly, his suit was thrown out.
RIAA vs Everyone
The RIAA or Recording Industry Association of America has filed tens of thousands of lawsuits since the turn of the millenium accusing people of sharing and illegally downloading songs. While some of these claims have been legitimate, there are numerous cases like that of Gertrude Walton who passed away the age of 83 only to be hit a lawsuit the following year. Apparently the RIAA believed her to be one of the piracy prone perpetrators despite her never even having a computer in her house.
Richard Overton vs Anheuser-Bush
In 1991 Anheuser-Bush was sued by Richard Overton on the grounds of false advertisement and causing emotional distress because apparently Richard, no matter how many buds he had, just couldn’t seem to get those beautiful girls in the ads.
Rolf Gets Rejected
81 year old German playboy Rolf Eden sought damages from a 19 year old girl in 2007 after she refused to sleep with claiming that she was discriminating on the basis of age.
Dalton Chiscolm vs Bank of America
After becoming frustrated with the service he recieved at Bank of America, Dalton Chiscolm sued for $1.7 billion trillion dollars. To clarify that’s 1.7 followed by 18 zeros. A professor at Courant Institute for Mathematical Science even testified that such numbers are only relevant to astronomers and others who deal with items on a cosmic scale. Furthermore, consider this, in 2008 Earth’s total combined GDP was $60 trillion which is still over 28 million times smaller than the amount Dalton was asking for.
Austin Aitken vs NBC
In 2005 after Austin Aitken watched an episode of Fear Factor that involved contestants consuming blended rats, he sued NBC for $2.5 million claiming he had become dizzy and lightheaded.
Andrew Burnett vs Sara McBurnett
In a fit of road rage San Jose resident Andrew Burnett killed Sara McBurnett’s dog by throwing it into the middle of a busy highway. Years later, after already having been convicted of the crime, Andrew decided to come back and sue both Sara and the local media for causing him mental anguish.
Patsy Byers vs Hollywood
It seems like Warner Bros. is a popular target for frivolous lawsuits. After Patsy Byers was shot by two armed robbers her family sued the film studio for making and distributing the movie “Natural Born Killers”. In their estimation the perpatrators were “inspired by Hollywood”.
Family of Daniel Duke vs Sea World
After Daniel Duke managed to somehow avoid Seaworld security and stay in the park past close, his body was found in the Killer Whale tank the subsequent day. Daniel’s family then decided to the sue the amusement park saying their was no warning saying that Killer Whales were dangerous.
In 1996 an Israeli TV station was sued by a woman claiming that while they had forecast fair weather, later that day it had in fact rained and because she was unprepared it resulted in her catching a cold.
Jesse Dimmick vs Hostages
In 2010 Jesse Dimmick, a convicted kidnapper, filed suit against his former hostages for not helping him escape from the police. According to Jesse they had breached a legally binding verbal contract.