25 Witty But Cold Insults That Keep It Clean

If you’ve ever just really wanted to knock someone out with a verbal left hook but didn’t know how to go about it, you’re in the right place.

The first rule of penning insults is to never use profanity. It actually cheapens the hit and gives your opponent a huge window of opportunity to curse you right back. Instead, resort to your wit.

Here are 25 witty but cold insults that keep it clean.

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25

You look like something that I would draw with my left hand.

wow just wowSource: gotlines.com
24

I refuse to have a battle of wits with somebody who is unarmed!

i has the dumbSource: thoughtcatalog
23

If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional.

thumbs upSource: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com
22

I'm not saying that I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

phoneSource: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com
21

In spite of what it did to you, don't you love nature?

natureSource: thoughtcatalog
20

I've seen someone like you before, but I had to pay admission.

credit cardSource: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com
19

You have the perfect face for radio!

radioSource: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com
18

You're not as bad as people say. You're a whole lot worse.

ouchSource: reddit
17

I'm not sure what your problem is, but I'd be wiling to bet that it's hard to pronounce.

burnSource: reddit
16

It's pretty easy to figure out when you're lying. Your lips are moving.

throne of liesSource: thoughtcatalog
15

Wow! You look like a before picture!

oh dangSource: gotlines.com
14

I wanted to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

ya nastySource: reddit
13

I don't think you're un-intelligent. You just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

facepalmSource: thoughtcatalog
12

Brains aren't everything. And, in your case, they're nothing.

no brainSource: gotlines.com
11

It's looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer.

yao mingSource: reddit
10

It's really great to see how you don't let your education get in the way of your ignorance.

the ignorance is strong with this oneSource: thoughtcatalog
9

They say that we all sprang from apes. As it stands, you didn't seem to spring far enough.

apesSource: gotlines.com
8

I'm really jealous of everyone that hasn't met you!

so jealousySource: reddit
7

Most people live and learn. Apparently you just live.

learning is not funSource: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com
6

There is only one problem with your face...I can see it.

he didn'tSource: onelinefun.com
5

So a thought crossed your mind? Well, that journey must have been long and lonely.

brainSource: oldquotes.com, Image: pixabay.com
4

It's amazing what you've done with your hair! How did you manage to grow it out of your nostrils like that?

nose-hairSource: reddit, Image: commons.wikimedia
3

Hey, there's something on your chin. No, no...the third one down.

he madSource: thoughtcatalog.com
2

They say that laughter is the medicine. Seems like your face is curing the world!

laughSource: gotlines.com, Image: pixabay.com

If you have enjoyed this list, take a look at 25 Incredibly Insulting But Clever Memes.

1

You were born on a highway right? Because that’s where most accidents happen.

highwaySource: thoughtcatalog, Image: pixabay.com


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