25 Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL (Literally)

Posted by , Updated on March 14, 2018

There is just something about hearing a funny quote that can bring a quick and easy smile to our face. Whether it’s a funny quote from a celebrity or a funny quote about life in general, funny statements can really brighten our day. Are you in need of a good laugh to get you through the day? Look no further; it’s time to put that frown upside down and make your day a whole lot brighter. Here are 25 Funny Quotes That Will Make You LOL (Literally).


Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way. ~ Steve Martin

steve martinSource: https://www.rd.com/joke/steve-martin-success/

A Canadian psychologist is 
selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog 
is smarter than you. ~ Jay Leno

jay lenoSource: https://www.rd.com/joke/jay-leno-on-pet-scams/

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ~ Jim Carrey

jim carreySource: https://www.brainyquote.com/lists/topics/top_10_funny_quotes

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

ellenSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/515427-accept-who-you-are-unless-you-re-a-serial-killer

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ~ Mark Twain

mark twainSource: https://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/05/07/funeral-approved/

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. ~ Winston Churchill

winston churchillSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/winston_churchill_108948?img=2

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. ~ Albert Einstein

einsteinSource: http://botit.botany.wisc.edu/toms_fungi/einquote.html

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? ~ Jerry Seinfeld

jerry seinfeldSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/14378-if-a-book-about-failures-doesn-t-sell-is-it-a

I know I'm not skinny, but I'm not fat either. I'm just at that awkward middle where I have a double chin when I text. ~ Anonymous

double chinSource: http://thefunnybeaver.com/extremely-funny-quotes/

If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. ~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti

ferlinghettiSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/181293-if-you-re-too-open-minded-your-brains-will-fall-out

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ~ Elbert Hubbard

elbert hubbardSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/elbert_hubbard_104409

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. ~ Lemony Snicket

Lemony_SnicketSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/34999-everyone-should-be-able-to-do-one-card-trick-tell

I want to live my life like a bear. Eat when I want. Sleep when I want. Kill people in the woods when I want. ~ Anonymous

bearSource: http://thefunnybeaver.com/39-new-funny-quotes-youre-going-love/

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~ Phyllis Diller

phyllis dillerSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/phyllis_diller_104018

I'm not saying kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out. ~ Unknown

warning labelSource: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/391039180135421344/

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. ~ Unknown

DeodorantSource: https://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/author/anonymous/common-sense-like-deodorant/

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. ~ Steven Wright

Steven_WrightSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/steven_wright_383366

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. ~ Demetri Martin

Demetri_MartinSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/148002-i-think-the-worst-time-to-have-a-heart-attack

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ George Carlin

george carlinSource: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/25610-honesty-may-be-the-best-policy-but-it-s-important-to

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. ~ Larry David

larry davidSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/larry_david_467389

Good friends don't let you do stupid things...alone. ~ Unknown

friendshipSource: https://thewondrous.com/funny-quotes-about-friends/

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. ~ Anonymous

bedSource: https://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/author/anonymous/my-bed-is-a-magical-place/

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. ~ Anonymous

childSource: https://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/author/anonymous/find-kids-in-house/

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

teddy rooseveltSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/theodore_roosevelt_120663

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. ~ Mitch Hedberg

hedburgSource: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/mitch_hedberg_297485?src=t_funny

Photo: 1. Robert Cudmore, mitch_hedberg_rip, CC BY-SA 2.0, 2. WikipediaCommons.com (Public Domain), 3. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 4. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 5. Pexels.com (Public Domain), 6. David Shankbone, Larry David at the 2009 Tribeca Film Festival 2, CC BY 3.0 , 7. Bonnie from Kendall Park, NJ, USA, Jesus is coming.. Look Busy (George Carlin), CC BY-SA 2.0 , 8. Theresa Holley, Demetri Martin, CC BY-SA 3.0 , 9. 48states at English Wikipedia, Steven Wright 1994, CC BY-SA 3.0 , 10. Th145, Deodorant, CC BY-SA 2.0 DE , 11. Coolcaesar at the English language Wikipedia, Personal watercraft warning sticker, CC BY-SA 3.0 , 12. Allan warren, Phyllis Diller Allan Warren, CC BY-SA 3.0 , 13. Carl Chapman from Phoenix, usa, Bear Alaska (3), CC BY 2.0 , 14. Photographed by Mike Huang, http://www.mikehuang.com/blog, Daniel Handler calling Lemony Snicket 2006-10-28, CC BY-SA 2.0 , 15. WikipediaCommons.com (Public Domain), 16. Christopher Michel, Poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti. (7488872650), CC BY 2.0 , 17. Pete Markham, PROPete Markham Follow Day 29: Attack of the Double Chin, CC BY-SA 2.0, 18. slgckgc, Jerry Seinfeld 2016 - 2, CC BY 2.0 , 19. WikipediaCommons.com (Public Domain), 20. WikipediaCommons.com (Public Domain), 21. WikipediaCommons.com (Public Domain), 22. Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen DeGeneres in ED Ellen DeGeneres, CC BY-SA 4.0 , 23. Ian Smith from London, England, Jim Carrey 2008, CC BY-SA 2.0 , 24. Lee Stranahan, JayLenoJul08, CC BY 2.0 , 25. Joella Marano, Steve Martin 2011, CC BY-SA 2.0

SEE ALSO: 25 Most Powerful Marvel Characters »

NOW WATCH: 25 Space Images That Will Blow Your Mind Away

Subscribe to List25
Show Us Your Love
Join Over 2 Million+ List25 Fans