Are there things you believed as an adolescent that you shake your head at today? Children have very active imaginations, and when they want to make sense of the world, it’s amazing some of the things they can come up with.
For instance, some children believed that tiny people controlled the traffic lights, while others thought that the people they saw on T.V. could see them in real life.
As we get older, we put things into a more realistic perspective. We learn the difference between reality and fantasy.
What are some things you believed as a kid? Well, you likely weren’t the only one who thought those things. Not quite sure? Then check out this list of 25 Stupid Things You Believed As a Kid That Are Nearly Unbelievable.
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The Magic Cash Machine
“I thought that you could take money out of a cash machine anytime you needed some. It seemed odd that people worried about the cost of things when they should just visit the cash machine more frequently.”
Wouldn’t it be, oh, so joyous, if there was a machine that automatically gave you money whenever you needed it?
Yes, there are ATM machines, but they don’t just randomly give you free money. How crushing it must have been for this person to learn the truth.
Bring in "The Band"
“When a song was being played on the radio, I thought the whole band just popped into the room with the radio presenter, then left once they’d finished.”
Just imagine if this was true. It would be the most epic radio station ever.
Although, where would the station keep all the bands? Maybe in one gigantic room?
Cats and Dogs
“When I was a kid I thought dogs and cats were the same species; just dogs were male and cats were female. Blew my little 7-year-old mind when my dog got pregnant!“
We can imagine the look on this person’s face when their dog all of a sudden got a little bigger … then had a tiny dog coming out of it.
Hopefully, their parents had the “talk” with them.
The Chocolate Bunny Has Feelings Too
“I convinced myself that my saliva would work like a narcotic on chocolate Easter bunnies, so they wouldn’t feel the pain of me eating them.”
Then there are those people who bite the heads off of animal crackers in a twisted sense of dominance. Hey, at least this person tried to make the pain more humane with their slobber.
“Shhh, it’s okay, delicious chocolate bunny. It’s not going to hurt. It’s not going to hurt.”
Qutting Cold Turkey
“I used to believe that quitting something ‘cold turkey’ meant that you ate cold turkey instead of smoking or doing whatever else they’re trying to quit. I figured that since cold turkey doesn’t sound that delicious, they must be so distracted by how annoying cold turkey tastes that they forget about their addiction.”
Perhaps we need to come up with different sayings for things. However, maybe eating cold turkey would keep you from smoking.
The tryptophan would make you sleepy, and if you’re sleeping you aren’t smoking … boom! (Patent pending.)
Warning! This is JUST a Drill
“When I was about four, our kindergarten teacher told us that there would be a fire simulation in the next few weeks when the firemen would come to our school.
I was terrified, because I thought they would set our school on fire to teach us what to do in case a real fire started, and I was unsure whether the firemen would be able to deal with the fire before everything was destroyed.”
In all fairness, if you want kids to learn, you need to prepare them properly.
Next up: how to outrun a bear in the woods, with … you guessed it, a real-life grizzly bear.
Relax, we’re just joking. They would probably use a polar bear and teach your kids how to run on ice.
The Little People Who Control Lights
“I used to think that there were little people inside traffic lights who pressed buttons to make them change from green to yellow to red.”
How much should one get paid for a job like that? Do they offer any benefits, health, dental, a 401k?
Also, what kind of education would you need, besides the basic green meaning go, red meaning stop, and yellow meaning slow down?
Kissing = Marriage
“I thought if someone kissed me, we were married.”
Thinking this as a child is quite endearing. If this was true for an adult, it would be quite terrifying.
It would definitely make people think twice about making out with random strangers at a bar. But what happens in Vegas should definitely stay in Vegas.
Apple Tree Seeds
“When you eat an apple and accidentally swallowed the seeds, an apple tree would grow inside you.”
Just thinking about this makes us cringe. Would the apple tree just stay in our stomachs? Would we all of a sudden just become apple trees?
Somebody answer us, please! Is this some sort of mutant transformation thing?
The Power of Mind Control
“I used to think adults could read my mind and that when people turned 18 you magically gained the gift of reading children’s minds.”
If you are a parent and you convince your child this is true, you are a genius … perhaps an evil genius, but a genius all the same.
But please make sure, at some point, to tell them the truth. You can wait until they’re 18 … or 40, whatever works best for your situation.
The Creature from the Bowl
“[I was] definitely convinced some sort of creature would come out of the toilet when I flushed it. I would always wash my hands first, flush, then run out of the bathroom.”
We believe that some grown-ups still have this fear. If you were a teen in the ’80s, you may remember a movie called Porky’s.
In this movie, an unpopular gym teacher is sitting on the toilet. When she looks down, she sees a snake in the bowl. So, yeah, this belief is not that far-fetched.
A Long Time to Make a Movie
“I thought old and young versions of movie characters were played by the same actor, and they just waited until the actor grew up to finish making the movie.”
Who has that kind of patience? They would have to have a very strong contract.
Theoretically, they could do this, but usually, they either use a really good makeup artist or pick a different actor to play the older/younger version.
The Hardest Part about College
“When my parents said colleges were ‘hard to get into,’ I thought they meant the door was heavy and hard to open.”
Better start lifting some serious weights. Harvard has an iron door that only a select few have been able to open. Many have tried; few have succeeded. Good luck.
If only life were that simple. Just open a really strong door and you get an education.
Literal Nosebleed Seats?
“I thought nosebleed seats at a basketball game were given their name because they were closest to the court, so you could get hit in the face with the ball.“
Talk about really experiencing the action. If this were true, then baseball probably wouldn’t be that popular of a spectator sport.
Well, maybe it would be if you’re not in the nosebleed seats.
Don't Send in the Clowns
“I thought clowns were a race of people. I was obviously wrong.”
Oh, dear Lord, no! Absolutely not. A race of Pennywise-like creatures? Not on our watch.
By the way, this whole clown prank thing has really gotten out of hand, although some might say we already have a race of clowns in politics.
(Cue drum roll and cymbals.)
Thank you, we’re here all week!
The Wrong Pipe
“I thought that when someone choked a bit and said something had gone down the wrong way, that we must have a food tube and a drink tube and I wondered how our bodies knew what to do with chunky vegetable soup.”
That’s easy! There are little elves in your body pulling a lever that controls where food goes. Each elf is in charge of different foods and liquids.
Okay, we watched a lot of Magic School Bus growing up. (We also hope you didn’t take us seriously with this one.)
The Magical Fax Machine
“I used to think that fax machines rolled the paper into tubes and magically sent the physical document through the wires to come out on the other end.”
Who knows? Maybe one day this will be possible, but probably not. Maybe we need to go back to carrier pigeons, but a fax machine is probably faster.
(To be honest, this is not the most ridiculous belief we have ever heard.)
“When I was a kid, I thought secondhand smoke meant you smoked with both hands. Like [you] had a lit cigarette in each hand and alternated.”
Surprisingly, there actually are people who smoke two cigarettes at a time. Sadly, they might also have a voice box that makes them sound like a robot attached to their throat.
Kids, don’t start smoking. This message is brought to you by List25.
Like in the Movies
“I believed that when people died in movies, they died in real life. I assumed before they started filming they were like, ‘Alright, show of hands … who wants to die for real?’“
If they asked that question in a cheery disposition, that would probably be more unsettling than the actual question. Like, some young PA with a clipboard saying, “O.k. gang, we’re shooting a death scene. Someone gets stabbed, but, like, we are really going to stab you, fun fun fun.”
Thanks but no thanks.
When Mushrooms aren't Mushrooms
“I didn’t like mushrooms as a child, but one day, my parents served me chopped mushrooms with pasta. ‘These are mushrooms!’
‘No,’ they replied. ‘Those are oojamaflips.’
I must have thanked about a dozen of my friends’ sniggering parents for the yummy oojamaflips in my dinner.”
We would have given anything to see the reaction on people’s faces when she called mushrooms “oojamaflips.” It would have been priceless. We bet the girl was embarrassed, but it’s still funny.
Parents, just tell your kids the truth. Save them from humiliation later in life.
"Protectors" from the T.V.
“I wouldn’t go to sleep without the T.V. on. I believed that if there was ever an intruder the cast from the show on at the time would jump out of the T.V. and protect me. George Lopez protected me for years.”
Yeah, but why not have The Transformers on or something? They seem like a better choice to protect you than George Lopez.
Don’t get us wrong; we’re not questioning Mr. Lopez’s skills, but robots with lasers seem like a better choice for protection.
The Birthday Suit
“I used to think that your birthday suit was an actual suit people wore on their birthday and always wondered why I didn’t have one.”
This has to be a fairly common misconception by children. But they really should design a suit that’s specific for a birthday … perhaps a tuxedo with balloon animals or an outfit with lots of bright and shiny colors.
Listen to the Cartoon
“I used to think that people on the TV could see me when I was really little. One time an aardvark puppet on this show said, ‘I love your new hair’ and I’d just come into the room after having a haircut. [It] freaked me out.”
Maybe they could see? (Bwahaha.) Yes, having an experience like that would probably freak out a lot of children.
Maybe we really are living inside The Matrix, and that cartoon character really can see you and is trying to communicate with you. Okay, we need to stop speculating. (We just freaked ourselves out.)
“When I was very small I thought that ‘moving house’ meant literally moving your house to a different place. I then imagined there must be a secret button somewhere that you pushed to enable this and set about trying to find it.“
They do have this. They’re called trailer homes. So, this person isn’t totally off.
You can literally move a house to a different location, although most people would choose to just buy a new house. Unless they are really attached to the old one.
Where Teachers Live
“I used to think that teachers actually lived at school! I wondered where they slept in school … maybe in the teacher’s lounge?“
Don’t be silly. They keep them in the janitor’s closet and flip a switch before school starts. In fact, that’s where they get their assignments for total world domination and the algebra exam that you have been dreading.