25 of the Most Ridiculous “Florida Man” Headlines

Dare we present our list: 25 of the Most Ridiculous “Florida Man” Headlines. Florida Man is a meme based on news stories of bizarre and outlandish crimes perpetrated in the state of Florida.

The stories are often strange and unusual and refer to named or unnamed suspects as “Florida Man”, such as “Florida Man sets apartment complex on fire after a manager told him to stop masturbating in front of windows”.

Though similar characterizations exist in other countries – such as Essex girl in the United Kingdom – Florida Man is the most popular to date and we’ve gathered some of his best headlines and stories.

One reason why so many stories involve “Florida Man” is the state’s freedom of information laws. The lax laws mean journalists can access photos, videos, and other information about arrests easier than in other states, so it’s likely plenty of equivalents exist throughout the country and around the world.

For the record (and to save some of the state’s dignity), Florida has such a high amount of people moving in from across the country that most of these people should be known as Now-Lives-in-Florida-Man. While not all people in Florida are bonkers, the ones on this list are.

From a pirate shooting at passing cars to a man trying to exchange a freshly-caught alligator for a 12-pack of beer to a man who was denied entrance to a strip club for bringing his kitten, laugh at the ludicrousness in this list of 25 of the Most Ridiculous “Florida Man” Headlines.

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25

Our first Florida Man was seen running around a residential neighborhood in Naples, yelling out that he was a 400-year-old Native American. He went swimming in a local's pool before sitting in the fire pit and rubbing ash on his face. When the owner confronted him, he jumped the fence and stole a car before wishing a passer-by a Happy New Year. He soon crashed the car and was found swimming in a lake.

Native_American_Chiefs_1865Source: Naples News, Image: Wikimedia
24

A senior citizen in Florida was charged with slashing an 88-year-old woman's tires with an ice pick. The reason? She had taken his favorite seat at the retirement community's bingo hall.

Bingo_GameSource: Associated Press, Image: Wikipedia
23

A line cook in Key West was arrested for tying three iguanas to his bicycle and trying to sell them to locals, advertising that they would be delicious for dinner. (Since iguanas are an invasive species in Florida, it is legal and encouraged to catch and eat them.)

iguanas on treeSource: NY Daily News, Image: Pixabay
22

A famous Florida Man was due in court but didn't want to be tied down by traditional court attire. After a kind judge's concession, he was allowed to wear his trademark bandana, albeit only a plain one. The man? Hulk Hogan. It's unknown whether he legdropped any of the jurists.

hulk hoganSource: Tampa Bay Times, Image: MikeKalasnik via Flickr
21

Most Floridians love their pets. One man in Murdock loved his cat so much that he tried to take her to the Emerald City Gentleman's Club. When the strip club denied him and his feline entry, the ridiculous Florida Man called the police to report the owner. Maybe he should have tried the Pussycat Paradise?

man with shoulder catSource: CBS News, Image: timothykrause via Flickr
20

A man living in the Florida Keys was arrested in full pirate costume - including two muskets, a dagger, and a sword - for firing his musket at cars on the Seven Mile Bridge.

men in pirate costumesSource: Miami New Times, Image: Pixabay
19

In addition to the more common Florida Man, we present Florida Woman. A woman in Longwood burned down the oldest tree in Florida and the fifth oldest in the United States after lighting it on fire to get a better view while getting high on meth. Police discovered she was the culprit because she stopped to take photos and videos of the fire before running away.

The_Senator_Tree_Longwood_FloridaSource: Miami New Times, Image: Wikipedia
18

A man in Delray Beach outran a drunken, machete-wielding Florida Man. The drunk man was attempting to ride his bicycle; the other man narrowly escaped atop his ride-on lawnmower.

man-with-macheteSource: Palm Beach Post, Image: Wikipedia
17

A Florida Woman was escorted out of a bar for drunkenly offering patrons oral sex in exchange for cash. When officers arrived, she kicked one in the genitals before later offering him oral sex to set her free.

policeman HH_Polizeihauptmeister_MZSource: Miami New Times, Image: Wikipedia
16

A Florida Man was arrested in Brevard County for selling counterfeit currency after police saw his ad on Craigslist entitled "Legit Counterfeit $$".

monopoly moneySource: Florida Today, Image: anilmohabir via Flickr
15

A man in Pensacola obviously took too much inspiration from the "Back to the Future" movies. He drove his Dodge Challenger directly into two businesses, later telling police he was trying to travel through time. Obviously, the real problem was he didn't have a DeLorean.

Back to the Future DeLorean Time MachineSource: KSNV, Image: Wikipedia
14

A Florida Man in the panhandle classified his nightclub as a church to avoid paying taxes. Registered as "Life Center: A Spiritual Community", the organization was known as The Tabernacle and hosted naked paint parties while advertising the "sexiest ladies on the beach". Amen.

spring break in panama citySource: Panama City News Herald, Image: Vimeo
13

A Florida teenager entered his house on New Year's Eve and demanded everyone to get out of the house, even fighting with the partygoers. The problem? It wasn't actually his house.

Sydney_habour_bridge_&_opera_house_fireworks_new_year_eve_2008Source: WCSH6, Image: Wikipedia
12

A man from Florida flew through three restricted flight areas while piloting his gyrocopter from Pennsylvania to Washington D.C. He landed on the White House's West Lawn to advocate for campaign finance reform before being arrested. A mailman, he decked out his gyrocopter in USPS insignia and planned to deliver the mail.

Bensen gyrocopterSource: Tampa Bay Times, Image: Wikimedia
11

A drunk Florida Man and Florida Woman cuddled up to sleep in a dumpster after becoming heavily intoxicated at a casino. The couple woke up in a garbage truck but were evacuated before the compacter was activated. Sounds like a heck of a date.

Autocar_dumper_in_NYCSource: Reuters, Image: Wikipedia
10

A man walked into the Deltona water office to respectfully pay his water bill. He handed the cashier an envelope and walked out. The trouble came when the cashier saw the envelope had no money in it - rather, it was full of powdered cocaine. How big must his water bill have been that it was cheaper to pay with an envelope of cocaine?!

Par_avion_air_mailSource: Broward Palm Beach New Times, Image: Wikipedia
9

A Florida Man in Fort Lauderdale tried stealing two assault rifles, one being an AK-47, from a pawn shop by stuffing them into his pants and limping out the door.

rifle wall in pawn shopSource: Tampa Bay Times, Image: simonov via Flickr
8

A man in Lee County was arrested for impersonating a police officer after pulling over two undercover detectives (in an unmarked police car) while driving his police car look-alike.

Secretary_Kerry_Speaks_on_Phone_Before_Departing_France_After_Commemorating_Paris_Shooting_Victims_Source: NBC 2, Image: Wikipedia
7

Men in Florida really love their beer. A man in Miami was arrested after attempting to trade an alligator he caught at a nearby park for a 12-pack of beer.

American_Alligator_eating_crabSource: CNN, Image: Wikimedia
6

A man from Pensacola posted a fake online job advertisement then set up a temporary office in the state's capital. He collected applicant's social security numbers, bank details, and even urine samples. It's not known what he did with any of them.

ReceptionistsSource: Palm Beach Post, Image: Wikipedia
5

A Florida Man danced atop a police SUV for six minutes before ripping off its wipers. The Cape Coral man claimed he was dancing on the cruiser to ward off vampires.

Lincoln_Police_SUV_(1),_Lincoln_Police_Department,_Lincoln,_Nebraska,_USASource: Miami New Times, Image: Wikimedia
4

A man ran into the Tallahassee Regional Airport in just his underwear, saying he had a plane to catch, at around 4 A.M. He was tased in the back, afterwards telling officers "I kinda always wanted to be tased." He also told them his name was God and that he was in a deep sleep, "like beyond sleep".

undie runSource: Tallahassee Democrat, Image: evocateur via Flickr
3

Two Florida Women were shopping at a Floridian's favorite supermarket - (no, not Sedano's) Publix - when they tried to get away with $476 worth of groceries. When staff confronted them, they ran off but left their two 11-year old girls at the store. Police later reunited the girls with other family members.

publix grocery storeSource: Miami New Times, Image: brianhart via Flickr
2

A Florida Woman caught stealing from retail store Claire's felt police were treating her unfairly, telling them, "Everyone steals from this store. Why are you picking on me?"

US_Army_51805_Post,_AAFES_combat_increases_in_juvenile_shopliftingSource: The Smoking Gun, Image: Wikipedia
1

A Florida policeman being honored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving for arresting over 100 drunk drivers was found stumbling around drunk, in his underwear, before the award ceremony.

drunk manSource: WFLA, Image: Pixabay


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