Vermin Supreme Promised Ponies for Everyone
Although Vermin has made plenty of crazy promises in his comical political career, the promise to provide everyone with ponies and move the United States to a pony based economy really topped off the list.
John Edwards Promised to Cure Diabetes, Parkinson's, and Alzheimer's
During his presidential run with John Kerry, John Edwards promised that disabled people will get up out of their chairs and walk again.
Herman Cain Promised to Veto Any Bill Longer Than 3 Pages
Although he had a point with his statement (legislation does have a tendency of getting a bit wordy), Herman didn’t manage to convince anyone.
Dan Quayle Promised Best Educated American People in the World
Dan promised the country that no other nation in the world will have better educated American citizens. Touche, Dan…touche.
Andy Caffrey Promised to Smoke a Joint on Capitol Hill
This 54-year-old California Congress candidate campaigned on several issues, but smoking a marijuana cigarette on the steps of Capitol Hill became a highlight.
Ronald Reagan Promised to Not Exploit His Opponents' Youth and Inexperience
Hmmm…unfortunately, Ronald, it may be a little too late for that.
Donald Trump promised to build a wall along the US/Mexico border.
While this promise might not sound crazy to some, the craziest part about this promise is that Trump insists that Mexico will pay for it, if not upfront, than through some sort of reimbursement.
Sarah Palin Promised to Stand By America’s North Korean Allies
Have you ever tried to read a globe upside down? Well, don’t…because then things like this happen.
Hunter S. Thompson Promised to Replace the Streets of Aspen with Sod
When Thompson ran for sheriff of Pitkin County in 1970, he promised he would tear up all the asphalt in Aspen, replace it with sod, and use the asphalt to build a parking lot just outside the city.
Dennis Kucinich Promised to Arrest George W Bush
Kucinich repeatedly called for the impeachment and arrest of George W Bush, essentially making it his platform, going so far as to warn the Bush administration that they should know their Miranda rights.
Donald Trump promised to "gut" if not get rid of the Environmental Protection Agency
Eh, you know, who needs a healthy or clean environment anyway?
George W. Bush Promised Flying Ticket Counters
This one is best if read in its entirety, “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.”
Alan Caruba Promised to End Boredom
While running for U.S. President, this candidate vowed to end boredom, make Vanna White the First Lady, and hold a telethon to end the national debt.
Jello Biafra Promised to Make Businessmen Wear Clown Suits
While running for mayor of San Francisco in 1980, the Dead Kennedys singer came up with a “funny” platform.
Al Gore Promised That Zebras Will Not Change Their Spots
Or their stripes, or whatever it is that zebras have these days.
Michelle Bachman Promised to Withdraw From Libya…and Africa
After reading enough of these, it may start to seem as though politicians don’t necessarily have the strongest grasp on geography.
Ronald Reagan Promised to be Awake
According to Ronald, he “has orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if he’s in a cabinet meeting.”
Donald Trump promised to stop eating Oreo cookies.
…or at least stop eating them until Nabisco moves production from Mexico to the United States.
Herman Cain Promised to Eliminate Commerce, Education, and Energy
As if his plan to cut all three of these government departments wasn’t crazy enough, he only managed to remember two of them during the debates.
Herbert Hoover Promised a Chicken in Every Pot
Although it was never directly stated by Hoover himself, the party convention ran this slogan to advertise his platform of prosperity.
Eisenhower Promised That Things Are More Like They Are Now Than They Ever Were Before
Sometimes it’s good just to get the obvious stuff out of the way so you can focus on the more important matters at hand.
Newt Gingrich Promised a Moon Colony
Not only did Newt promise a moon colony, he promised it by the end of his second term in the year 2020.
Gabriel Green Promised to Eliminate Poverty with Credit Cards
Called the “Space-Age Candidate” in 1960, Green had lofty goals of creating a real UTOPIA by eliminating poverty with credit cards. He also promised free insurance and no taxes.
Barack Obama Promised Not to Call Mitt Romney Weird
Prior to all the mudslinging of the 2012 presidential campaign, Obama vowed not to call Mitt Romney weird…which is kinda weird?
Teddy Roosevelt Promised Not to Run Next Time
It seems a little counter-intuitive, but apparently, it struck a chord with voters. It didn’t, however, stop Roosevelt from running for a third term in 1912.