25 Best Shakespearean Insults That Are Better than Swearing

Prepare to lock and load, here are 25 best Shakespearean insults that are better than swearing! Have you ever wanted to insult someone so badly, that a regular swear word just would not to? I do. ALL. THE. TIME. Especially when I’m driving. And, let me tell you, some people really deserve a barrage of eloquent insults. But if you’re like me, in heated moments, eloquence escapes you (eloquence escapes me no matter what I do…but that’s beside the point). Fortunately for us, we have Shakespeare, the master of eloquent insults. Next time a jerk cuts you off in traffic? Shakespeare to the rescue. Your team’s player is simply not playing well enough? Shakespeare can handle that. A politician is pissing you off? Shakespeare would decry, “There’s small choice in rotten apples!” Someone exits? You know the answer. Shake-freaking-speare.

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20

“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

shocked face 3Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
19

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

Wtf catHenry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 1)

18

“Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.“

ElbowTroilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene 1)
17

“Thou cream faced loon.”

creamfaceMacbeth (Act 5, Scene 3)

16

“Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”

HellRichard III (Act 1 Scene 2)

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