Prepare to lock and load, here are 25 best Shakespearean insults that are better than swearing! Have you ever wanted to insult someone so badly, that a regular swear word just would not to? I do. ALL. THE. TIME. Especially when I’m driving. And, let me tell you, some people really deserve a barrage of eloquent insults. But if you’re like me, in heated moments, eloquence escapes you (eloquence escapes me no matter what I do…but that’s beside the point). Fortunately for us, we have Shakespeare, the master of eloquent insults. Next time a jerk cuts you off in traffic? Shakespeare to the rescue. Your team’s player is simply not playing well enough? Shakespeare can handle that. A politician is pissing you off? Shakespeare would decry, “There’s small choice in rotten apples!” Someone exits? You know the answer. Shake-freaking-speare.
“I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3) “If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.”
Hamlet (Act 3, Scene 1) “Away, you three-inch fool! “
The Taming of the Shrew (Act 3, Scene 3) “Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!”
Henry IV Part I (Act 2, Scene 4) “Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.”
As You Like It (Act 2, Scene 7) 
