25 Craziest Political Promises Ever

Posted by on January 24, 2013

Everyone knows that when it comes to empty promises politicians have a monopoly. Every time election season rolls around the promises start flowing and without fail the people cling to the ones they want to believe in the most. Sure, while some of them might be a little believable, or at least believable enough, every once in a while the level of audacity the politicians display reaches new heights. So, in honor of their incredible boldness these are the 25 craziest political promises ever.


Vernin Supreme Promises Ponies For Everyone

Vernin SupremeAlthough Vernin has made a lot of crazy promises in his comical political career, the promise to provide everyone with ponies and move the United States to a pony based economy really topped off the list.

John Edwards Promises To Cure Diabetes, Parkinsons, and Alzheimers

John EdwardsJohn Edwards went so far as to say that if him and John Kerry are elected president then people like Christopher Reeves will get up out of their chairs and walk again.

Herman Cain Promises To Veto Any Bill Longer Than 3 Pages

Herman CainAlthough he had a point with his statement (legislation does have a tendency of getting a bit wordy), Herman didn’t really manage to get anyone to take him seriously with this promise.

Dan Quayle Promises Best Educated American People In The World

Dan Quayle Dan promises the country that no other nation in the world will have better educated American citizens. Touche Dan…touche.

Hillary Clinton Promises That Everyone Will Know Who Wears The Pantsuits

Hillary ClintonApparently if Hillary is in the White House then there will be no question as to who is in the White House.

Ronald Reagan Promises To Not Exploit His Opponents Youth and Inexperience

Ronald ReaganHmmm…unfortunately Ronald it may be a little too late for that.

Dan Quayle Promises The Future Will Get Better Tomorrow

Dan QuayleThis one is a bit of a mind bender. You’ll probably need some Tylenol just to try wrapping your head around it.

Sarah Palin Promises To Stand By America’s North Korean Allies

Sarah PalinHave you ever tried to read a globe upside down? Well, don’t…because then things like this happen.

Hunter Thompson Promises To Replace The Streets of Aspen with Sod

Hunter ThompsonWhen Thompson was running for sheriff of Pitkin County in 1970 he promised to he would tear up all the asphalt in Aspen, replace it with sod, and use the asphalt to build a parking lot just outside the city.

Dennis Kucinich Promises To Arrest George W Bush

Dennis KucinichAlthough he had repeatedly called for the impeachment and arrest of George W Bush, Dennis essentially made this his platform, going so far as to warn the Bush administration that they should know their Miranda rights.

Sarah Palin Promises She Will Be More Rogue

Sarah PalinAlthough she has probably already achieved maximum rogueness, Sarah made promises to come back with even more.

George Bush Promises Flying Ticket Counters

George BushThis one is best if read in its entirety: “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.”

Bill Clinton Promises His Administration Was The Funnest

Bill ClintonAlthough he can’t run anymore, and the promise was slightly belated, Clinton seemed to think that although “[he] may not have been the greatest president [he] had the most fun 8 years.”

Jello Biafra Promises To Make Businessmen Wear Clown Suits

Jello BiafraWhile running for mayor of San Fransisco in 1980, the Dead Kennedys singer came up with a “funny” platform.

Al Gore Promises That Zebras Will Not Change Their Spots

Al GoreOr their stripes, or whatever it is that zebras have these days.
David Pegg


After helping found the United Nations, the United States, and United Airlines, David consigned himself to a transient life of writing lists and sleeping on park benches.

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  • Maninder

    The last one really deserves to be on top of the list !!!!.
    I wonder he is/was a politician. what on earth anybody will be after zebras’ stripes.

  • Juan Motie

    Right or left, these politicians are always gonna promise the moon but end up lining their own pockets with our tax dollars.

    @Caleb – I think you are correct – his forgetting whatever it was helped to sink his campaign.

  • caleb

    Wasn’t it Rick Perry that forgot the third one, not Herman Cain?

    • mike

      perhaps if you did not have so many mistakes, like the one on perry not cain, someone will subscribe you. don’t you google facts before posting them. the same goes for reagan and age. By the way, in your video, it is pronounced Ray-gan not Ree-gan.
      get serious.