Top 25 Most Bizarre and Useless Products You Can Buy on Amazon

On the e-commerce giant that is Amazon, you can order anything from electronic goods to office furniture, 365 days a year and often have it delivered the very same day to your doorstep, at just the click of a button.

But has all this convenience meant that it is far too easy to impulse buy something that is both bizarre and totally useless?

However before we start this list, there’s a 16th Century Latin saying that goes ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison’ might well apply. I myself late one night a decade ago, on an impulse brought on Amazon a fully functional Yugoslavian Gas Mask. Why? Because I just wanted one.

Surely a very bizarre and useless item to own? Well, maybe not now, as the recent Coronavirus outbreak and the ever growing threat of zombie apocalypse, could well turn out to be a very shrewd and practical purchase.

So here is our ‘Top 25 Most Bizarre and Useless Products You Can Buy on Amazon’. 

Please note: At the time of this article, all these Amazon product were available and the rankings quoted were correct. Gag gifts have not been included on this list as they serve a clear purpose and that is to be funny (supposedly!).

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1. Today’s Products, Tomorrows bizarre and Useless?

1-dvd

Pencils, erasers, calculators, non-rechargeable batteries and DVD’s, all these things technology is in the process of passing by. For soon they will be just a fond and distant memory, much like rolls of film and typewriters are. So many of today’s’ products are destined to be seen by the next generation as bizarre and useless oddities of a bygone age.

 

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2. A Mystery Product!

2-mystery

And this product is definitely a very bizarre one, as I have no idea what it is or what it does. It can be best describe as a cyborg finger. There are no manufacturer’s product description or reviews. And them calling it a ‘Best Shopper-Smart Nail Set Wearable’ does not help either. So this truly a bizarre and useless product!

Rating in the top sellers list is unknown.

Amazon (Canada)

https://www.amazon.ca/Best-Shopper-Smart-Wearable-Gadgets/dp/B07KR9TGCC/ref=sr_1_12?keywords=gadgets&qid=1581314571&sr=8-12

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3. The Umbrella Reinvented………….. yet again!

3-umbrella2

Maybe it is because the modern day umbrella has been around since the 17th

Century, relatively unchanged or the fact that millions of them are sold each week across the world. So, there is always someone trying to reinvent it and make their fortune. Thus, we now have the spectacular hands free umbrella mounted on a plastic plate strapped to your back. Bizarrely it claims you will never lose it like a conventional umbrella by inadvertently leaving it somewhere by mistake. So are you meant to wear this all the time, like when visiting friends or going to the shops? And does this mean in cinemas you have to feel sorry for the person sat behind you and your back mounted umbrella.

Rating in the top sellers list is unknown.

Amazon (Singapore)

https://www.amazon.com/Primo-Supply-Wearable-Hands-Free-Afternoons/dp/B07S9GK1PL/ref=pd_sbs_86_4/133-6253305-4108737?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B07S9GK1PL&pd_rd_r=ec6c5d99-135e-4fef-899c-162a94e50d78&pd_rd_w=IrDJr&pd_rd_wg=Iou77&pf_rd_p=547f2794-55d2-4e81-a21e-8fe99f7ce60a&pf_rd_r=VNCHE25XXS150RNW3JDX&refRID=VNCHE25XXS150RNW3JDX&th=1

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4. When it's worth more than it should be?

4-note

On Amazon there are advertised current British £5 notes starting with the serial number AK47, being sold for far more than their face value. The supposed reason for this is AK47 is the abbreviation for the iconic Russian made automatic rifles favored by terrorists, gangsters, enemy soldiers and Hollywood blockbuster movies. The sellers on Amazon would like to have you think that this is a rare prefix, when in fact there were 999,999 of these issued beginning with AK47.

Rated as the 552 best seller in Amazon’s Banknote Collecting section.

Amazon (UK)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/England-note-polymer-condition-collectors/dp/B01MCZKMVJ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=bank+note+ak47&qid=1581306319&sr=8-1

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5. Chew Yourself to a Better You!

5-chew

You exercise your body, so why not your mouth? Well, this small silicone ball claims to do just that, by exercising your mouth, head and neck muscles. The manufacturers say it is very much like you are chewing a large dollop of chewing gum. Claiming this will tone, firm and strengthen your head area, resulting in making you look more youthful. They also go as far as to claim, it is more effective than Botox or face fillers! This product is not back up by any clinical studies or medical evidence. In fact it has a disclaimer about having ‘No medical claims in the cure of any illness, safety of use, and or damage to gums and or teeth’. Then worryingly it goes on at length that if you get injured while using it, its not their fault. And in the review section there are over 200 poor ratings, some saying their teeth were damaged or destroyed by this device.

Rated as the 145th best seller in Amazon’s Facial Treatments & Masks section.

Amazon (South Africa)

https://www.amazon.com/Jawzrsize-Exerciser-Neck-Toning-Resistance/dp/B01N4R5VY2/ref=sr_1_56?keywords=excercise&qid=1581311923&sr=8-56&th=1

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6. To Get Stones During Pregnancy

6-crystal

Maybe one should always be suspicious if something makes medical claims and then has no reviews, along with a disclaimer that this is not being promoted as a medical treatment or medication! Such is the case of the four gemstone crystal set, especially designed to aid in a woman’s pregnancy and birthing. The seller claims these crystals will encourage a healthy pregnancy, ease the pain of childbirth and assist in breast feeding. This sounds very much like they implying the product is a medical wonder? Oddly the seller goes on about that this is all brought about due to the ‘unique combination’ of four very specific gemstone crystals included in a set…… yet they say ‘Please Note: Due to crystal availability, substitutions may occasionally occur’. Also bizarrely it is listed in the Collectible Figurine section of the US Amazon website.

Rated as the 14,711 best seller in Amazon’s Collectible section.

Amazon (USA)

https://www.amazon.com/PREGNANCY-BIRTHING-Tumbled-Crystal-Description/dp/B01MRQJ6N4/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=genuine&qid=1581304603&s=home-garden&sr=1-4

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7. The Umbrella Reinvented

7-umbrella

If you want to work, play or simply stroll along hands free in the rain, but still be dry, this is the product for you. It is a bizarre combination of a hat and a neck umbrella. And you really need to see it to appreciate how absurd it is. Also oddly is it only recommended for people no taller than 5’5 ft. As for what customers think of this stylish head covering wonder, it got very mixed reviews.

Rating in the top sellers list is unknown.

Amazon (Singapore)

https://www.amazon.com/ANSAN-Portable-Foldable-Headwear-Transparent/dp/B01EOW8MWC/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=full%2Bbody%2Bumbrella&qid=1581307625&sr=8-3&th=1

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8. Faith in a Bottle

8-holy water

Holy Water is said to cure the lame and bring about miracles. So nowadays for your convenience, you can go on Amazon and buy it in bulk (a liter at a time). Having been pre-blessed by a priest and for your peace of mind, it comes with a certificate confirming its source is both pure and divine. And interestingly enough, it is about as popular an item as the previous product on our list (Temporary self-adhesive pockets!).

Rated as the 253,292th best seller in Amazon’s Health & Household section.

Amazon (USA)

https://www.amazon.com/Lourdes-Water-Liter-Container-Gallons/dp/B00NA96FPM/ref=sxin_3_ac_d_pm?ac_md=3-2-QWJvdmUgJDUw-ac_d_pm&crid=ZKTL6YLDY44T&cv_ct_cx=holy+water&keywords=holy+water&pd_rd_i=B00NA96FPM&pd_rd_r=f8035de7-c15a-4f92-be15-e9669f197104&pd_rd_w=VVIM4&pd_rd_wg=yLeLi&pf_rd_p=516e6e17-ed95-417b-b7a4-ad2c7b9cbae3&pf_rd_r=SQVTNEXWNSB6N27Z47D3&psc=1&qid=1581301305&sprefix=holy+water%2Caps%2C409&sr=1-3-22d05c05-1231-4126-b7c4-3e7a9c0027d0

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9. Temporary Self-Adhesive Pockets

9-pocket

Have you ever worn something that either does not have enough pockets or worse still, none at all? Well, the solution is here, self-adhesive temporary pockets! Though they do have a few drawbacks: they come in just one color (light beige), are not machine washable, not reusable, not that cheap, very small (will hold just a credit card), will not stick to certain material (like wool) and lastly a lot of reviews say it has a nasty habit of falling off (never a good thing for a pocket to do). And here’s something to reflect on, American Amazon buyers would rather buy one of a 1/4 million other products in the Health & Household section, before they bought this one.

Rated as the 223,960th best seller in Amazon’s Health & Household section.

Amazon (USA)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0063LUB3Q/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyUU5MT0RWOVlUNDYxJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNjM2NTU5M0o1NDFEME9PTkdHQiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDQ4ODg4M1I0SjFDNU1KQjJQMyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2RldGFpbDImYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

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10. For the Psychopathic Gardener!

10-gloves

Heavy Duty gardening gloves with claw attachment for raking and digging. Now, I have some issues with this product. Apart from your neighbors thinking you are dressing for Halloween, the claw attachments are not even made from metal, but plastic. Also it says they are fun to use, obviously they do not know what real fun is??? And their claim that the claw garden glove is the way of the future and will replace every potting tool you own, is more than a little far fetched.

Rated as the 169th best seller in Amazon’s Garden Glove section.

Amazon (Australia)

https://www.amazon.com/Gardening-Runfish-Digging-Protective-Gardeners/dp/B076XXS2SQ/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?crid=25PES8KIG91P1&keywords=clawed+garden+gloves&qid=1581295418&sprefix=clawed+g%2Caps%2C391&sr=8-3-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExWjNGVEJCUUdGOVRUJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNDY5NDc2MUpLRFJSVko0UzBKMCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjU3NTI2MkJXTU9BMkxYQk9HUCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

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11. Metal Cigarette Case with built-in Windproof Electric Lighter

11-cigarette

Definitely a bizarre invention, this is a cigarette case with a built-in lighter. It holds ten cigarettes that will at a touch of a button automatically light one of these, then dispense it ready to use. It is also fully rechargeable. So on the face of it, it seems like a good idea but judging by the reviews, the cigarette case is let down by poor build quality and a dispenser that jams regularly. Maybe they will perfect this product one day, hopefully before cigarettes finally become a thing of the past?

Rated as the 4,914th best seller in Amazon’s Sports & Outdoors section.

Amazon (Canada)

https://www.amazon.ca/Padgene-Cigarette-Rechargeable-Windproof-Accessories/dp/B01LENA0CY/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=cigarette+case&qid=1581243010&sr=8-5#customerReviews

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12. Dowsing Rods- Seek & You Will Find

12- dowsing rod

Wooden dowsing rods have a long history of being used to locate sources of underground water or metal ore deposits, it is said by enhancing the users psychic ability. Though many are skeptical and think that any discovery made while using this rods are by pure luck. These on sale are of more fancier version being made of cooper and being called Divining rods. They are basically two bent pieces of L-shaped copper bars, which they claim can locate water, treasure, energy, food, ghosts, information and give answers to questions, as well as assisting in Fengshui. Which let’s face it is, all a bit of a stretch.

Rated as the 67,913th best seller in Amazon’s Home & Kitchen section.

Amazon (India)

https://www.amazon.in/Reiki-Crystal-Products-Copper-Dowsing/dp/B07DC7SMMS/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=divining+rod&qid=1581171162&sr=8-1

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13. Golliwog Products

13-golliwog

The Golliwog was an American fictional character from the Victorian era, who was a black rag doll who got up to all kind of mischief. Nowadays it is seen as being highly racist and so to have on an everyday object, would be seen as bizarre. As most people would see it as being damn right offensive. So despite the manufacturers saying it would be the ideal gift for Moms, Dads, Husbands, Wives, Sons, Daughters, Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles and Friends, if out of shame it was left unused at the back of the kitchen cupboard.

Rated as the 14,790th best seller in Amazon’s Mug section.

Amazon (Japan)

https://www.amazon.com/Gollies-Gollies-Ceramic-Coffee-C-handle/dp/B07PZ53C5L/ref=sr_1_16?keywords=golliwog+doll&qid=1581239816&sr=8-16

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14. Strange Pickled Food?

14-pigs feet

To some cultures pickled food like Pig’s lips, Turkey guts and Chicken feet are not only perfectly acceptable, but are seen as a delicious delicacy. However to 10’s of millions eating these kinds of foods would be seen as most bizarre, that’s why we have included them on this list. On the Korean website Pickled Pig’s Feet are ranked a respectable 243rd in their Packaged & Canned Meats section, whereas in the UK site the exact same brand and product is at 4,348,507th in Home & Kitchen section.

Amazon (South Korea)

https://www.amazon.com/Matt-Dana-Pickled-Pigs-Quart/dp/B00KDN23AO/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=pickled+meat&qid=1581233127&sr=8-13

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15. Magic Therapy Shoe Insoles

15-lotion

Finally a medical breakthrough that does everything and all you have to do is simply slip it into your shoe and walk around on it all day long! Introducing the Acupressure Magnetic Therapy Massage Insoles Anti-Fatigue Weight Loss Shoe. These miracles of footwear accessories does it all, relaxes your feet, boosts your energy level, all while helping you to lose weight……………..Though discouragingly, 55% of buyers gave it just a one star rating and one review unkindly said of this ground breaking product, that it was ‘useless’ while another stated ‘it hurts!’. Could it be that this product that has no scientific basis for its outrageous claims, actually does not work!

Rating in the top sellers list is unknown.

Amazon (India)

https://www.amazon.in/SKUDGEAR-Breathable-Acupressure-MAGNETIC-Anti-Fatigue/dp/B07MFDYKVZ/ref=sr_1_6?keywords=diet+pills&qid=1581168765&s=beauty&sr=1-6

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16. Pagan & Voodoo Conjuring Spell Lotion

16-love potion

The online market place is full of instant solutions and here is one to aid you find your true love and lasting happiness. So if you desire a certain someone and wish to have a deep, committed relationship with them? What you do is simply write their name on the side of a pink candle dipped in this magical potion and in no time at all (supposedly) your true love will come running to you. Though what is most worrying about the product is one of its main active ingredient is catnip, so be prepared for a lot of unwanted attention from your neighborhood cats!

Rated as the 607th best seller in Amazon’s Aromatherapy section.

Amazon (Singapore)

https://www.amazon.com/Hoodoo-Voodoo-Wiccan-Conjure-Spells/dp/B00EBXAPH0/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&aaxitk=6tVqFnVgRpb0Vg3n8BtRAA&hsa_cr_id=9927535660101&ref_=sb_s_sparkle

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17. Male Sexual Enhancing Pills

17-male enhancement

Men often worry about their sexual performance as they get older. But products like this claim to restore your vitality. Its active ingredient is powdered Chiangbai Mountain Ants and it also guarantee to ‘promotes a sense of clarity that remains throughout the day’, accompanied by ‘a sense of positive absurdness’. And it is ranked an unimpressive 23,814th in the Health, Household & Personal Care at Amazon.

Rated as the 23,814th best seller in Amazon’s Health & Personal Care section.

Amazon (Australia)

https://www.amazon.com.au/Dragon-Herbs-Tomkat-Milligram-Capsules/dp/B003B6QG3K/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=penis+enlargement+tablets&qid=1581223555&sr=8-2

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18. The Klingon Dictionary

18-klingon

Learning a new language is meant to be good for the mind. But one for a made up warrior race from a cult TV series (Klingon from Star Trek), is without doubt a little bizarre. It is true the book is highly rated and has a respectable ranking in its category. And one also has to admit the book takes its subject matter most seriously, covering thoroughly the fundamental rules of grammar as well as words of the Klingon language. But it does escape the fact its totally useless learning this language, the book has been around 28 years and still has yet to be recognized by the United Nation or does any school teach it as part of the curriculum! And remember, as the Klingon’s would say: ‘qoH vuvbe’ SuS(The wind does not respect a fool) .

Rated as the 219th best seller in Amazon’s Television (Books) section.

Amazon (USA)

https://www.amazon.com/Klingon-Dictionary-Star-Trek/dp/067174559X/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=learn+klingon&qid=1581263424&sr=8-1

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19. Perky, Anyone?

19-breast

Have you ever wanted to address the issue of your breasts not being as perky as they use to be, but do not want to have expensive and painful cosmetic surgery? Well why not try breast lifting and firming cream? This product claims that it can increase breast tissue by up to 8.4%! at just $167 for a two month supply. What woman would not be tempted to buy this product that has no reviews despite it being on sale for over three years on Amazon?

Rating in the top sellers list is unknown.

Amazon (Australia)

https://www.amazon.com.au/INTENSIVE-BREAST-ENHANCEMENT-THERAPY-Leading/dp/B01MRHVR29/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=%5Cbreasts+cream&qid=1581221914&sr=8-5

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20. Unisex Stainless Steel Clock Cuff-links

20-cufflinks

This is not sold as a novelty item, but something that is both useful for work and weddings. Highly recommended for watch enthusiasts and the manufacturers helpfully suggest that on business trips you set each one to a different time zone. One for back home, the other so the country you are visiting. Obviously you have to remember which is which or mayhem and confusion will surely follow.

Rated as the 6,506th best seller in Amazon’s Cuff-links section.

Amazon (UK)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01ALWLEWE?aaxitk=6YJqFOtEgLAlvv9q9Nkdlg&pd_rd_i=B01ALWLEWE&pf_rd_p=f5d6d4d9-368b-4922-ab40-a7c5424fea8f&hsa_cr_id=9660654530402&sb-ci-n=asinImage&sb-ci-v=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-na.ssl-images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F4174b7f4lXL.jpg&sb-ci-a=B01ALWLEWE

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21. Fluff Your Pet With Ease!

21-dog

It seems a modern man can dispense with the foolish notion of courtship, seduction and romance if you want to attract a women these days, especially when he has a bottle of 1.5 ml genuine real synthetic pheromones! The idea is a pheromone triggers a sexual response towards you in the women around you. Though it is nowhere as straightforward or as easy to replicate as the manufacturers claim it to be. Although there is some science behind pheromones, it is mostly related to the behavior in insects, not humans! So if you want to be seen as makes an aggressive sex dominant owner of a smell (the maker’s claim). Then this product might well be the product for you.

Rated as the 17,358th best seller in Amazon’s Beauty section.

Amazon (Australia)

https://www.amazon.com.au/ANDROSTENONUM-1-5ml-Pheromone-Seduce-Strong-Aphrodisiac/dp/B07X6R7SP2/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=sex+aftershave&qid=1581217968&s=music&sr=8-3

4

22. Attraction Spray

22. pheromones

It seems a modern man can dispense with the foolish notion of courtship, seduction and romance if you want to attract a women these days, especially when he has a bottle of 1.5 ml genuine real synthetic pheromones! The idea is a pheromone triggers a sexual response towards you in the women around you. Though it is nowhere as straightforward or as easy to replicate as the manufacturers claim it to be. Although there is some science behind pheromones, it is mostly related to the behavior in insects, not humans! So if you want to be seen as makes an aggressive sex dominant owner of a smell (the maker’s claim). Then this product might well be the product for you.

Rated as the 17,358th best seller in Amazon’s Beauty section.

Amazon (Australia)

https://www.amazon.com.au/ANDROSTENONUM-1-5ml-Pheromone-Seduce-Strong-Aphrodisiac/dp/B07X6R7SP2/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=sex+aftershave&qid=1581217968&s=music&sr=8-3

3

23. Miracle Weight Loss Tablets in General

23-weightloss

There is no quick fix to losing weight, most medical experts agree that the only way to lose weight and keep it off, is a combination of regular exercise and eating a balanced diet in moderation. In fact, some weight loss pills being sold online including at Amazon can have nasty, potentially even harmful side effects. Medical sources recommend that you only lose between 1-2 pounds of weight per week. So, any product that claims to lose significantly more is either misleading you or promoting unhealthy weight lose. Like losing 5 pounds in just one day!

Rated as the 978th best seller in Amazon’s Detox & Cleanse Weight Loss section.

Amazon (India)

https://www.amazon.com/Hollywood-Diet-Herbal-Clean-Miracle/dp/B001B7NQR0/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3O2HCL5NHEQIG&keywords=miracle%2Bweight%2Bloss&qid=1581351884&sprefix=miracle%2Bweight%2Caps%2C374&sr=8-4&th=1

2

24. Whiter than White!

24-white

Amazon India sells a whitening cream for men’s underarms and intimate parts. It proudly declares on the jar ‘Rugged & Handsome Men inside Out‘ (what does that actually mean???). Obviously there’s the serious issue that this product is prompting one skin color is better than another. And is it a really good idea to bleach your privates parts! And call me cynical, but the instructions says ‘Use twice daily for at least 45 days for visible results’. So you have to get 90 applications out of a 100 gram jar? Ironically, on the instructions on how to apply the cream, it states: Apply generous amount of cream(as long as its not more than a gram each time!). So on that fact alone a totally useless product, because one jar is not ever going to be enough to get visible results (simply do the maths!).

Rated as the 26,553th best seller in Amazon’s Beauty section.

Amazon (India)

https://www.amazon.in/Sanctus-Underarm-Intimate-Whitening-Advanced/dp/B07LGDX4X8/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

1

25. What’s a Letter???

25-letters

Since postal letters in the US peaked in 2006, 66 Billion fewer letters are now sent annually and the downward trend is predicted to continue for the foreseeable future. So whats more bizzare and useless, than buying a letter opener these days? Buying a pack of two! Hardly the handiest of things in these days of e-mail and instant messaging.

Rated as the 1,532th best seller in Amazon’s Office section.

Amazon (Canada)

https://www.amazon.ca/Pack-Letter-Opener-Envelope-Knife/dp/B07D58VJ8C/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=letter+opener&qid=1581241543&sr=8-5



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