Top 15 Greatest Puns of All Time

Using nothing but instinct and intuition, I’ve scoured the deep and vast interwebs for the greatest puns of all time. Why would I do this, you ask? Because puns are amazing. And also terrible. This combination of amazing and terrible puts puns in a unique category all of its own. It’s hard to deny their mystery. Simultaneously, puns have the power to make one person groan, another sigh, another laugh, and another die (okay, I made that last one up. Puns can’t kill people). Some might even be able to laugh and sigh at the same time. How is this possible? No one knows. No one probably cares either. At the end of the day, you just want to hear the best puns ever. So, let’s not delay any further, here are the top 15 greatest puns of all time.

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15

Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.

elephantSource: https://thewondrous.com/
14

A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.

henSource: http://www.reddit.com
13

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

dyslexicSource: https://thoughtcatalog.com/
12

I love you from my head tomatoes.

tomatoesSource: https://thewondrous.com/
11

I was at hospital last week. I asked the nurse if I could do my own stitches, she said "suture self."

stitchesSource: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/
10

My credit card company sent me a camouflaged bull. It’s the hidden charges you have to watch out for.

camo bullSource: https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/
9

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian. It's like I've never seen herbivore.

vegetarianSource: http://www.collegehumor.com/
8

What happened when the guy shoplifted the calendar? He got twelve months.

calendarSource: http://www.collegehumor.com/
7

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter. Why? None of them work.

unemployedSource: https://onelinefun.com/puns/6/
6

Ancient humans, venturing across the ice bridge to North America, got lost quite often. They found it very hard to keep their Bering Strait.

bering straightSource: http://mentalfloss.com/
5

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion. I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

tongueSource: https://onelinefun.com/puns/7/
4

What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck.

beer nutsSource: https://onelinefun.com/puns/2/
3

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

showerSource: http://kickasshumor.com/
2

Hotel manager: SOMEBODY PEED IN MY ELEVATOR!! Employee: That's wrong at so many levels.

elevatorSource: http://kickasshumor.com/all-time-best/18/funny-puns
1

Thanks to fossils, archaeologists have been able to determine that there once a genetic mutation millions of year ago, causing the creation of a five-legged dinosaur. As far as we know, this is the first evidence we have ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

fossilsSource: http://mentalfloss.com/


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