Heart-Stopping Hamburgers (List25)

This monstrosity located at the Boston Burger Company in, you guessed it, Boston, Massachusetts, has everything a body needs to shut down one day. With a bun layered in peanut butter and a meat patty topped with bacon and fried bananas dusted with cinnamon and sugar, you’ll easy cut off five years of your life eating this thing.

This calorie-laden behemoth doesn’t have any frills. It’s a four-pound hamburger with a little cheese atop a one-pound bun. Do the math and you’re looking at shoving a nice big chunk of cow down your gullet.

If you think you’re as strong as Hercules, then it’s time to man up and head over to Clinton Station Diner in New Jersey. There, they have the challenge to eat the Mount Olympus burger, a fifty-pound burger complete with all the fixings, in under three hours. Good luck, mighty hero!

Head on over to Hwy 55 Burgers, Shakes, and Fries if you’ve ever had a hankering for heart surgery. Hamburger aficionados will bask in the glow of the 55 Challenge, a thirty-minute face stuffing extravaganza of fifty-five ounces of beef, bun, and all the trimmings. Complete the challenge, and the meal is yours for free. All subsequent health issues, of course, are not.

Located in Colorado Springs at Crave Real Burgers, this messy catastrophe on a bun is a green chili smothered cheeseburger over a grilled cheese sandwich. It also includes cilantro, guacamole, sour cream and cheddar. It has every intention of oozing its juices down your fingers, embarrassing you in front of your first date.

Specks Bar and Grill might be a modest little bar in Topeka, Kansas, but it sure packs a punch with its Speck Burger challenge. This massive three-pound burger is cut up like a pizza and served with many fries. Finish all of it in forty-five minutes and you get it free.

With 5 pounds of burger, 20 pieces of bacon, and 20 pieces of American Cheese, you’re unlikely to soar like an eagle after eating this ungodly convection. You may, however, hobble to the nearest bathroom.

There’s not much like a nice scoop of ice cream after a burger, but what about one on top of your burger? That’s the insane idea down at McGuire’s Irish Pub in Pensacola, Florida. With a modest 3/4 pound burger, ice cream, chocolate fudge, and a bun, this unholy marriage of dinner and desert may make you rethink your life after consumption.

Make a few waffles, some eggs, bacon, beef patties, and throw it all together into one glorious breakfast concoction. Your body will hate you for it, but in this case, it might just be worth it.

This gargantuan 6-pound beast served at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub might seem paltry in comparison to some of the other burgers on this list, but meet it in person, and you’ll likely change your mind.

This army of sliders became famous when it conquered the great Adam Richman of Man v. Food. Since then, many have tried and failed to overcome the 5 pound platter of twelve Jewish sliders. The establishment serving the sliders usually encourages patrons to have some self-respect and order the single, instead.

You don’t get to walk away with your dignity intact after eating something called The Beer Barrel Burgernator. It just doesn’t happen. This thing is twenty-five pounds of meat and cheese just waiting to give you pancreatic cancer.

Perfect for college students and people who forget to buy a pack of buns, this ramen-bun burger is exactly as it sounds. It puts two ramen cakes over a burger patty, throws on some lettuce and tomato, and calls it good.

With a name summoning the underworld’s most powerful pet, you better have a burger that lives up to the hype. Bokampers Bar and Grill may have done just that with 4 pounds of beef, 6 slices of bacon, and 4 fried eggs. Tame the beast in an hour and you get the meal for free, but it might also steal your soul in the process.

Look, the warning is right in the name. You know exactly what you’re getting into if you eat this heart serial killer. This evil alliance of protein, grease, and carbohydrates adds up to a whopping 9,606 calories.

This bizarre combo of Reese’s peanut butter cups with a burger might as well be a big prank, but it’s not. They put the peanut butter cups on top of the patty and stuff the patty with the sugary delights as well. Along with the chocolate and peanut butter is onion rings, bacon, and cheese. If you actually appreciate the purity of Reese’s peanut butter cups, you’ll leave this fowl sorcery alone.

If your life goal is to be diagnosed with Type-2 diabetes at a young age, few other burgers will get you there than this donut abomination. The burger is self-explanatory, but I’ll divulge anyway. It’s a burger sandwiched between two glazed donuts. Now you know. Do what you will with that information.

At Dyer’s Burgers (a telling and unfortunate name), they dip their beef in what can only be assumed to be the devil’s cauldron filled with 100 year old grease. So, if you want to clog your arteries the old fashioned way, head to Memphis and chow down on a burger dipped in the sludge of the ancients.

Revealed at the 666 Burger food truck in New York City and priced at $666, this fancy delight includes caviar, lobster, and imported aged gruyere cheese, among other rare ingredients. Few would pay for or try such a thing, but if you did, you clearly have way too much money.

This fancy-pants burger includes Japanese Waygu beef, 10-herb white truffle butter, smoked Pacific sea salt, eighteen-month cheddar, shaved black truffles, a quail egg, and a white truffle-buttered roll. So, yeah, it’s a big deal. It’s also really expensive and way out of your price range.

Priced out at $379, this gut bomb available at Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub is one-hundred and twenty-three pounds of heart stopping madness. Eat this and say goodbye to having a quality, trust-based relationship with your large intestine.

Served at one of Chicago’s hottest restaurants, Au Cheval, this cheeseburger might not sound like much, but by the time they get through with it, you’ll love it and wish you could have seconds. Unfortunately, seconds would likely thrust you into an early grave.

This burger is from the Heart Attack Grill. Check. It’s called an Octuple Bypass Burger. Check. Your heart recoils in terror looking at it. Check. Yup, you definitely don’t want to eat it. It comes with eight patties, forty pounds of ground beef, and is roughly 20,000 calories. I’m calling it out. This weapon of mass destruction should be illegal.

What new devilry is this? Similar to the Krispy Kreme burger, this patty is sandwiched between two deep-fried Twinkies. It’s scary how easy humanity comes up with new ways to destroy themselves.

This burger would most assuredly end you. Available to the public at Mallie’s Sports Grill & Bar, this tank of a burger is complete with fifteen pounds of lettuce, thirty pounds of bacon, and thirty-six pounds of cheese. The total burger is one-hundred and fifty pounds of heart annihilating goodness. Of course, naturally, no one man is capable of eating this thing alone.