Charisma is what makes people likeable and appealing to others. It’s something most people crave yet few people have. We look up to charismatic people, such as leading politicians, business people, and community leaders. Charisma, an aura of sorts, derives from top-notch communication and interpersonal skills. Though these are commonly thought of to be static personality traits you’re born with or not, science has proven they can be learned! As a charismatic leader, you can even help those you work with to perform better and enjoy their work more. Here we teach you 25 easy steps you can take to be a more charismatic and likeable individual.
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Speak with your hands
Maybe it’s why Italian men are seen as suave, but there’s no doubt someone who talks with their hands appear to others as more confident, passionate, and knowledgeable.
Touching can be a way to mildly flirt and show others warmth, and it doesn’t always have to mean romantically. Appropriate touching can make you both feel closer and, for those in the service industry, can earn you higher tips if done right.
Keep from knocking anyone down or elevating anyone on a pedestal. Regarding others as equals will lead others to see you as more humble and charismatic.
It seems to be a common suggestion for bettering yourself these days, from speaking on the phone to interacting at the DMV. And it works. Smiling gives your voice more warmth and makes you seen more approachable and friendly.
Speak in a consistent tone
Maintain a smooth speaking style without large changes of pitch, pauses, and umm’s. These all add variability to your speaking tone which shows uncertainty and lack of control. This works especially well when in a business setting or when presenting as people will see you as having stronger ideas.
Deepen your voice
In American Presidential races from 1960 to 2000, the candidate with the lower voice won the popular vote every time. Along with speaking consistently, lowering your voice makes you sound more authoritative.
Teasing is a great way to ingratiate ourselves to others – just be careful when and to whom you do it! To a strict boss? No way. To an acquaintance you’re meeting again? Better!
Develop the gift of the gab
Being comedic and witty will attract others to you because they have a good time in your presence. Memorize a few jokes and follow the next tip to be quicker on the tongue. It all comes down to practice!
Have general knowledge of what’s going on in the world, in town, etc. We’re more likely to trust and like people we see as smart. (It also makes starting and keeping conversations going much easier.)
Wishy-washy people are seen as less trustworthy and less knowledgeable than those who assert their position. Don’t shy away from giving your opinion but make sure to have done your research before and know what you’re talking about.
Realize when you can't win 'em all
“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time,” said Abraham Lincoln. You won’t be able to win over everyone with your charisma, and that’s ok.
Kind & courteous
Being polite and treating others well means they’ll be more likely to comply when you ask for something and view you more positively.
Relate to others and let them know you understand the position they’re in. This doesn’t mean feeling sorry for someone; rather, reinforcing that their feelings are valid and being there for them if they need you.
Read your audience
Respond to others’ body language and change your own behaviour or what you’re saying accordingly. A charismatic person makes sure to tune into the other person’s interests.
Engage people when you talk by weaving stories rather than just telling the facts. Speak in a way that draws people in that’s both clear and entertaining
Bring high energy
Energy attracts and being energetic will make you seem more passionate. People feed off energy and having high energy can also help get others on board.
P.S. – Charisma has and can be used for good or bad.
Open yourself up
Being vulnerable will allow you to connect with others faster and on a deeper level. Try telling your emotions honestly and spontaneously. This can be hard for many people so take it slow.
Positivity can be infectious. Look for the best in situations and the future and encourage others to do the same.
Looking someone in the eye shows interest and that your focus is on them.
Avoiding crossing your arms (or any part of your body), turning towards people when they’re talking, and maintaining good posture are easy ways to build charisma.
Ask open questions
It shows people you are interested and helps you learn more about them and what is important to them.
Not in a theatre sense, but if you don’t have some of the previous skills, try acting like it. More likely than not, people will believe you. (Be careful to not overanalyse the situation. People often pick things up as we put them down.) After some repetition, the skills will become ingrained, like muscle memory for exercises.
This doesn’t mean dominating the conversation or setting, but don’t sit out either; be an active participant, ask questions, and you’ll soon find people will be looking to you for answers – and see you as more charismatic.
Projecting confidence will make you seem sure of yourself and in control. This gives other people faith in you and makes them feel more comfortable.
The top piece of advice for seeming more charismatic is to give people attention. Be engaged with people as they speak and as you both interact. Everyone loves attention, so give it to them. “To appear interesting, be interested.”