Sometimes you need a little chuckle, or you know someone who needs a little chuckle. Maybe you’re having a Monday; maybe you’re just sitting down with your coffee; or maybe you’re about to head off to another meeting that should’ve been an email. Whatever the case, here are 25 Short Funny Jokes Sure To Give You A Giggle.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
What do you call a sleepwalking Nun?
A roamin’ Catholic.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Of course. A house doesn’t jump at all.
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I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying; it seemed very important to him that I have it.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate the pizza before it was cool.
What do you call a bee who is having a bad hair day?
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here.” Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungi!”
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
Wife says to her programmer husband, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.
My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Make me one with everything.
What's the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?
Twitter has a limit of 140 characters.
What do the movies Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn't complain.
An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. I know because they told me.
A Liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Mister Romney, what'll it be?"
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall. But it was his dumb asphalt.
Photo Credits: 25. Robert Claypool, American Flamingo – Phoenicopterus ruber, CC BY-SA 3.0, 24. pixabay (public domain), 23. shutterstock, 22. www.audio-luci-store.it via flickr, CC BY 2.0, 21. PanBK at the English language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported, 20. Intropin, Epi-Pen (1), CC BY 3.0, 19. Gage Skidmore via flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0, 18. Janine from Mililani, Hawaii, United States, Pizza with pineapple, CC BY 2.0, 17. pixabay (public domain), 16. wikimedia commons (public domain), 15. David J. Fred, Zippo-Slim-1968-Lit, CC BY-SA 2.5, 14. Michael Alø-Nielsen, Rick Astley Tivoli Gardens, CC BY 2.0, 13. crabchick via flickr, CC BY 2.0, 12-8. pixabay (public domain), 7. Max Pixel (public domain), 6. pixabay (public domain), 5. Brocken Inaglory, Sunset iceberg 2, CC BY-SA 3.0, 4. wander via flickr,CC BY 2.0, 3. pixabay (public domain), 2. Mark Taylor, CC BY 2.0, CC BY 2.0, 1. Lee Coursey via flickr, CC BY 2.0