Sometimes you need a little chuckle, or you know someone who needs a little chuckle. Maybe you’re having a Monday; maybe you’re just sitting down with your coffee; or maybe you’re about to head off to another meeting that should’ve been an email. Whatever the case, here are 25 Short Funny Jokes Sure To Give You A Giggle.
My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Source: http://www.tickld.com What's the best thing about Switzerland?
Source: http://www.distractify.com I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Source: short-funny.com What do you call a sleepwalking Nun?
Source: https://answersafrica.com A roamin’ Catholic.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Source: http://www.short-funny.com Of course. A house doesn’t jump at all.
I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying; it seemed very important to him that I have it.
Source: http://www.tickld.com/ Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Source: http://www.distractify.com How did the hipster burn his mouth?
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/ He ate the pizza before it was cool.
What do you call a bee who is having a bad hair day?
Source: oatmeal.com A frisbee!
A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, get out of here! We don’t serve mushrooms here.” Mushroom says, “why not? I’m a fungi!”
Source: http://www.danoah.com/ What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
Source: http://www.tickld.com One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
Source: http://www.distractify.com What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com Same middle name.
Why did the Stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
Source: https://answersafrica.com He couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for.
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Source: http://www.danoah.com Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
Wife says to her programmer husband, "Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen." Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.
Source: http://www.tickld.com My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Source: http://www.distractify.com Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSM2kU6gNo8 Make me one with everything.
What's the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter?
Source: http://www.quickfunnyjokes.com Twitter has a limit of 140 characters.
What do the movies Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Source: http://www.tickld.com Icy dead people.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn't complain.
Source: http://www.distractify.com An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. I know because they told me.
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com A Liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Mister Romney, what'll it be?"
Source: https://answersafrica.com My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall. But it was his dumb asphalt.
Source: http://laffgaff.com/ Photo Credits: 25. Robert Claypool, American Flamingo – Phoenicopterus ruber, CC BY-SA 3.0, 24. pixabay (public domain), 23. shutterstock, 22. www.audio-luci-store.it via flickr, CC BY 2.0, 21. PanBK at the English language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported, 20. Intropin, Epi-Pen (1), CC BY 3.0, 19. Gage Skidmore via flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0, 18. Janine from Mililani, Hawaii, United States, Pizza with pineapple, CC BY 2.0, 17. pixabay (public domain), 16. wikimedia commons (public domain), 15. David J. Fred, Zippo-Slim-1968-Lit, CC BY-SA 2.5, 14. Michael Alø-Nielsen, Rick Astley Tivoli Gardens, CC BY 2.0, 13. crabchick via flickr, CC BY 2.0, 12-8. pixabay (public domain), 7. Max Pixel (public domain), 6. pixabay (public domain), 5. Brocken Inaglory, Sunset iceberg 2, CC BY-SA 3.0, 4. wander via flickr,CC BY 2.0, 3. pixabay (public domain), 2. Mark Taylor, CC BY 2.0, CC BY 2.0, 1. Lee Coursey via flickr, CC BY 2.0
