It’s tough to be a celebrity. The cameras are always on, the paparazzi are always present, and every move they make and every word they say is incessantly scrutinized. While celebrity publicists and public relations teams make sure to carefully craft their image – whether it be kind and wholesome, wild and festive, or smooth and suave – sometimes celebrities can slip up and say some pretty ridiculous things. These hilarious celebrity quotes go to show that you can change somebody’s image but you can never entirely change who they are.
In this list, we’ve compiled some of the funniest celebrity quotes from our time. Whether it’s Kid Rock on his plan to make every American go to church, Arnold Schwarzenegger on his beliefs regarding gay marriage, or Lil Wayne on highly effective study habits, the hilarious quotes on this list are guaranteed to make you laugh. (We particularly like Tina Fey’s quote at #24 and Jack Nicholson’s laughable quote at #10.) While we might expect to hear silly quotes from celebrities we know as less cerebral, some of the most popular and dignified celebrities of our day have also made the cut. See if you favorite celebrity has said something funny enough to make our list of 25 Ridiculous Celebrity Quotes To Make You Chuckle.
Axl Rose
Source: Daily News Dig, Image: Wikipedia“It’s really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people.”
Tina Fey
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: commons.wikimedia.org“I wish I could trade my heart for another liver so I could drink more and care less.”
Sean Connery
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: en.wikipedia.org“I like women. I don’t understand them, but I like them.”
Al Pacino
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: Wikipedia“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”
Jessica Simpson
Source: Daily News Dig, Image: commons.wikimedia.org“Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it’s tuna but it says ‘Chicken of the Sea’.”
Melissa Etheridge
Source: People, Image: en.wikipedia.org“This (Oscar statue) is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.”
Kanye West
Source: Radar Online, Image: Dave B via Flickr“I won’t go into a big spiel about reincarnation, but the first time I was in the Gucci store in Chicago was the closest I’ve ever felt to home.”
50 Cent
Source: News.com.au, Image: en.wikipedia“I can’t belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I’m rich f*** this I’m going home I don’t need this s***.” (sic)
Denise Richards
Source: AZ Quotes, Image: Wikipedia“I am truly not one to give advice. I’m divorced, and I stole my best friend’s husband.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Source: Daily News Dig, Image: en.wikipedia.org“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
Loretta Lynn
Source: Esquire, Image: thirdcoastdigest via Flickr“I liked Michael Jackson better dark. And I liked his nose a lot better, too. If he has any more taken off, I don’t know how he’s gonna breathe.”
If you’re enjoying this list, you might also like 25 Unforgettably Awesome Movie Quotes.
Pete Sampras
Source: AZ Quotes, Image: commons.wikimedia.com“I didn’t have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends.”
Britney Spears
Source: Daily News Dig, Image: hr.wikipedia.org“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”
Miley Cyrus
Source: Cosmopolitan, Image: Wikipedia“I can’t sing, I can’t dance, I’m dumb, I’m a hillbilly, but I can twerk, so whatever.”
Kid Rock
Source: AZ Quotes, Image: commons.wikimedia.org“If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I’d turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.”
Jack Nicholson
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: en.wikipedia.org“I hate when people say ‘Nice to meet you’ before I’ve even said anything. How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m an asshole.”
Christina Aguilera
Source: AZ Quotes, Image: Wikipedia“I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering my body.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: Democracy Chronicles via Flickr“The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.”
Paris Hilton
Source: Daily News Dig, Image: en.wikipedia.org“What’s Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like wall stuff?”
Bette Midler
Source: Brainy Quote, Image: en.wikipedia.org“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?“
Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice)
Source: News.com.au, Image: en.wikipedia.org“First my mother was Spanish. Then she became a Jehovah’s Witness.”
George Clooney
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: Wikipedia“Run for office? No. I’ve slept with too many women, I’ve done too many drugs, and I’ve been to too many parties.”
Lil Wayne
Source: Youth Village, Image: commons.wikimedia.org“I learned this from a college graduate. She’d smoke a joint the night before a test, while she was studying, and then again in the morning, and everything she had read would come right back. I tried this five times, and I swear to God, I’ve never made less than a 92.”
Paula Abdul
Source: News.com.au, Image: Wikipedia“I’m tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am.”
Betty White
Source: World Wide Interweb, Image: en.wikipedia“Why do people say ‘Grow some balls’? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina – those things take a pounding!”
Enjoy this list? Check out 25 Insanely Dumb Celebrity Quotes You Won’t Believe Were Spoken.
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