This quotes list may be a little bit of a mind bender for some of you. The basic premise is this – one person says a quote that makes sense. We love it and live by it (there is one exception on this list; we’ll get to that in a minute). The question we’re asking today is, what if somebody else had said that exact same quote? Would it change at all? Sometimes the answer would be no. For example, if it were you or me, there would be little difference. But what if changing the author created an enormous sense of irony or even inappropriateness? That is exactly what we are going for here.
While all of these quotes were originally stated with good intentions (except for that one we mentioned), they all become even more ironic, funny, or inappropriate when said by somebody else. And to not keep you waiting any longer, yes, there is one quote on this list that is inappropriate even in its initial form. Furthermore, it isn’t even a verified quote, but it’s funny, so we included it (hint: it includes two men who are well known to fancy wall building). These are 25 quotes that become very inappropriate and ironic when they are misattributed.
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"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." - Ben Bernanke
Real author: Winston Churchill
"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." - Lee Harvey Oswald
Real author: Wayne Gretzky
"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" - Kim Jong Un
Real author: John F. Kennedy
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Michael Vick
Real author: Mark Twain
"All I know is that I know nothing." - your heart surgeon
Real author: Socrates, according to Plato
"It is not the fear of death but the fear of uncertainty which paralyzes us." - your anesthesiologist
Real author: Saint Benedict
"I cannot tell a lie." - your Lawyer
Real author: George Washington, according to legend
"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" - the Trojans
Real author: unknown
"Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you." - Icarus
Real author: Walt Whitman
“So many books, so little time.” - Pyromaniac outside The Library of Alexandria
Real author: Frank Zappa
"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon
Real author: Abraham Maslow
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." - Jaden Smith
Real author: unknown
Jaden is known for his less-than-intellectual tweets
"All we ask is that you give us your heart." - Aztec Tourism Board
Real author: unknown
"We must build a wall." - Nikita Khrushchev
Real author: Donald Trump
Note: there is no evidence to say that Nikita actually said this, but he did build a wall (the Berlin Wall, you probably heard of it). And yes, this is the one quote on this list that is inappropriate no matter which politician says it.
* possible exceptions may include alien invasions and zombie apocalypses
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - NASA to the pilots of the first moon landing mission
Real author: Norman Vincent Peale
"Got a long list of ex-lovers. They'll tell you I'm insane." - Henry the 8th
Real author: the song “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift
Henry is known for his many marriages. And for being crazy.
"Parting is such sweet sorrow." - Donald Trump's barber
Real author: Shakespeare
"Teach thy tongue to say 'I do not know' and thous shalt progress." – Hillary Clinton
Real author: Maimonides
"Where have all the flowers gone?" - Monsanto
Real author: the song Pete Seeger
"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." - Genghis Khan
Real author: Neil Armstrong
"They asked me if I knew anything about theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics." - Albert Einstein
Real author: Fantastic, in the game “Fallout”
"I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art." - Kanye West
Real author: The song “Amish Paradise” by Weird Al Yankovic
"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears." - Vincent Van Gogh
Real author: Marc Antony in Shakespeare’s play
Van Gogh is known for cutting off his ear.
"I know words, I have the best words." - Shakespeare
Real author: Donald Trump
"Everyone has the desire to win, but only champions have the desire to prepare." - Tanya Harding
Real author: unknown
Figure skater Tanya Harding is known for attempting to have the leg of her competitor, Nancy Kerrigan, broken before the Olympics.
Note: the attempt failed and the “hitman” only managed to bruise her leg