25 Misattributed Quotes with Ironic Inappropriateness

Posted by , Updated on March 22, 2024

This compilation of quotes might perplex some of you. The simple concept is this – a person utters a quote that is comprehensible. We cherish it and make it a guiding principle of our life (though there is a singular divergence in the list; we’ll tackle that shortly). The query today is – how would it change if someone else pronounced the exact words? Does it hold the same impact? Perhaps not always. Let’s say, if you or I were the originators, there likely wouldn’t be much difference. But what if, by altering the source, it resulted in an overwhelming impression of irony or even impropriety? That is precisely the angle we’re aiming for with this.

While all of these quotes were originally stated with good intentions (except for that one we mentioned), they all become even more ironic, funny, or inappropriate when said by somebody else. And to not keep you waiting any longer, yes, there is one quote on this list that is inappropriate even in its initial form. Furthermore, it isn’t even a verified quote, but it’s funny, so we included it (hint: it includes two men who are well known to fancy wall building).

These are 25 Misattributed Quotes with Ironic Inappropriateness.

Featured Image: pexels

25

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." - Ben Bernanke

"Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." - Ben BernankeImage: wikipedia

Real author: Winston Churchill

24

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take." - Lee Harvey Oswald

"You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take" - Lee Harvey OswaldImage: wikipedia

Real author: Wayne Gretzky

23

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" - Kim Jong Un

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" - Kim Jong Un

Real author: John F. Kennedy

22

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Michael Vick

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Michael VickImage: wikipedia

Real author: Mark Twain

21

"All I know is that I know nothing." - your heart surgeon

"All I know is that I know nothing" - your heart surgeonImage: wikipedia

Real author: Socrates, according to Plato

20

"It is not the fear of death but the fear of uncertainty which paralyzes us." - your anesthesiologist

"It is not the fear of death but the fear of uncertainty which paralyzes us." - your anesthesiologistImage: wikipedia

Real author: Saint Benedict

19

"I cannot tell a lie." - your Lawyer

"I cannot tell a lie." - your LawyerImage: pixabay

Real author: George Washington, according to legend

18

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" - the Trojans

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" - the TrojansImage: wikipedia

Real author: unknown

17

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you." - Icarus

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you." - IcarusImage: wikipedia

Real author: Walt Whitman

16

“So many books, so little time.” - Pyromaniac outside The Library of Alexandria

“So many books, so little time.” - Pyromaniac outside The Library of AlexandriaImage: wikipedia

Real author: Frank Zappa

15

"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." - Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon

"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail". - Michael Jackson's plastic surgeonImage: wikipedia

Real author: Abraham Maslow

14

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." - Jaden Smith

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." - Jaden SmithImage: wikipedia

Real author: unknown

Jaden is known for his less-than-intellectual tweets

13

"All we ask is that you give us your heart." - Aztec Tourism Board

"All we ask is that you give us your heart" - Aztec Tourism BoardImage: wikipedia

Real author: unknown

12

"We must build a wall." - Nikita Khrushchev

"We must build a wall" - Nikita KhrushchevImage: wikipedia

Real author: Donald Trump

Note: there is no evidence to say that Nikita actually said this, but he did build a wall (the Berlin Wall, you probably heard of it). And yes, this is the one quote on this list that is inappropriate no matter which politician says it.

* possible exceptions may include alien invasions and zombie apocalypses

 

11

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - NASA to the pilots of the first moon landing mission

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars." - NASA to the pilots of the first moon landing missionImage: pixabay

Real author: Norman Vincent Peale

10

"Got a long list of ex-lovers. They'll tell you I'm insane." - Henry the 8th

"Got a long list of ex-lovers. They'll tell you I'm insane." - Henry the 8thImage: wikipedia

Real author: the song “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift

Henry is known for his many marriages. And for being crazy.

9

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." - Donald Trump's barber

"Parting is such sweet sorrow" - Donald Trump's barberImage: wikipedia

Real author: Shakespeare

8

"Teach thy tongue to say 'I do not know' and thous shalt progress." – Hillary Clinton

"Teach thy tongue to say 'I do not know' and thous shalt progress." – Hillary ClintonImage: wikipedia

Real author: Maimonides

7

"Where have all the flowers gone?" - Monsanto

"Where have all the flowers gone?" - MonsantoImage: wikipedia

Real author: the song Pete Seeger

6

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." - Genghis Khan

"One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" - Genghis KhanImage: wikipedia

Real author: Neil Armstrong

5

"They asked me if I knew anything about theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics." - Albert Einstein

"They asked me if I knew anything about theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics." - Albert EinsteinImage: wikipedia

Real author: Fantastic, in the game “Fallout”

4

"I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art." - Kanye West

"I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art." - Kanye WestImage: youtube

Real author: The song “Amish Paradise” by Weird Al Yankovic

3

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears." - Vincent Van Gogh

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend me your ears." - Vincent Van GoghImage: wikipedia

Real author: Marc Antony in Shakespeare’s play

Van Gogh is known for cutting off his ear.

2

"I know words, I have the best words." - Shakespeare

"I know words, I have the best words". - ShakespeareImage: wikipedia

Real author: Donald Trump

1

"Everyone has the desire to win, but only champions have the desire to prepare." - Tanya Harding

QuotesImage: wikipedia

Real author: unknown

Figure skater Tanya Harding is known for attempting to have the leg of her competitor, Nancy Kerrigan, broken before the Olympics.

Note: the attempt failed and the “hitman” only managed to bruise her leg