25 Quick Jokes To Kill An Awkward Social Moment

Posted by , Updated on September 28, 2017

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If you’ve ever been in an awkward social situation or stumbled across one of those awkward silences during a conversation, you’ll know how useful it would be to have something to say…anything at all. Well, although it does take a bit of smoothness, random witty remarks and quick jokes are some of the best ways to mitigate these situations. These are 25 quick jokes to kill an awkward social moment!

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25

I didn't want to believe that my friend was stealing while working for the transportation department, but when I went to visit him at his place and all the signs were there.

signs
24

If you get knocked over the head with a coffee cup...have you been mugged?

coffee
23

The frustrated cannibal threw up his arms.

accident
22

conjunctivitis.com... now that's a site for sore eyes

eyes
21

How do you turn a duck in to a soul singer? Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Whithers.

duck

20

The people in Saudi Arabia don't really like the Flintstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi do. (yabba dabba doo)

UAE
19

Don't you think it's annoying when people answer their own questions? I do.

questions
18

Velcro. What a rip-off.

velcro
17

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

sky
16

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

brake fluid
15

Diarrhea is hereditary ... It runs in your jeans.

jeans
14

Unemployment is just not working for me

unemployment
13

I hate Russian dolls...so full of themselves

Russian nesting dolls
12

Did you hear about the magic tractor? it was driving down the road and turned into a field.

meadow
11

You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.

butter
10

What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta

pasta
9

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.

puppy
8

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You may think it's R, but a pirate can never give up his love for the C.

pirate
7

Why do mirrors look like eyes really close up?

mirror
6

Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was.

yoda
5

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

bench
4

I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but, by the end, I liked it.

book
3

What kind of car did the Apostles drive ? They were all in one Accord.

car
2

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet

road
1

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

smiley

Image Credits: 1. GNOME icon artists via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY-SA 3.0, 2. Ian Ransley via flickr CC BY 2.0, 3-9. Public Domain, 10. Luigi Chiesa via Commons.wikimedia.org CC BY-SA 3.0, 11-15. Public Domain, 16. Shutterstock, 17. Public Domain, 18. Alexander Klink via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY 3.0, 19. Public Domain, 20. FritzDaCat via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY-SA 3.0, 21-25. Public Domain.

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