Pick up lines form the base of dating ridicule. While some lines are as smooth as peanut butter, others have issues…major issues. If you’re trying to pick someone up, we recommend you stay away from these horrible pick-up lines. Bordering or completely passing the line of strange, awkward, and downright creepy, here are 25 Pickup Lines You Should Never Say If You Want To Score.
"Are you my appendix? I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out."
Better to have a night in.
[Gesturing to your shirt] "Excuse me, do you know what material this is? I'm pretty sure it's boy/girlfriend material.
Bordering on the line of cocky and confident – what are you thinking?
"If you could be any enzyme, what would you be? I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes."
A science geek’s worst pick up line…ever.
"Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids."
WOAH. Just woah.
"I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."
Sounds a bit desperate.
"Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. (S)he'd like your phone number to know where to get ahold of me in the morning."
A (failed) plot twist.
"You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you."
The statistician’s go-to pick up line.
You: "Hey did you drop something?" Them: "Umm, I don't think so." You: "Your standards. Hi! I'm ___."
Ah, good ol’ self-deprecation.
"What do you like for breakfast?"
Don’t put the cart before the horse, buddy.
[Call someone over with a finger] "I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger."
What a creep.
"Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"
At least it’s not as bad as the pick up line in #5 – but that’s not saying much.
"Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. Perhaps a date then?"
What a tease.
"My love for you is like diarrhea - I just can't keep it in."
That’s just gross.
"Heard you were looking for a stud. Well I've got an STD, all I need is you."
Run you fool!
"Would you help me with my math homework? I think I know a formula. You have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs and pray you don't multiply if I am correct."
You’re not correct. Ever.
"Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
Someone has been a naughty boy/girl.
"Wanna go halves on a bastard?"
A bit of a full-frontal pick up line.
You: Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Them: Yes. You: That's ok. I'm not the jealous type.
Homewreckers have started using horrible pick up lines, too.
"Hey cutie. I know Klingon and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!"
A Star Trek Klinger!
"Marry one, screw one, kill one. Me, Hitler or me again?"
It seems Godwin’s Law(AKA Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies) also applies to flirting.
"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"
Comparing a potential date to a sex worker will never get you a positive reaction.
A hockey player's response once he was told the girl he was hitting on had a boyfriend: "So? Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean I can't score."
Easily the worst homewrecker pick up line on our list.
"Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."
What was supposed to be cute came across as a bit creepy.
[Put out your hand] "Will you hold this while I go for a walk?
It’s cute, but definitely better for the second date than a first impression.
Go to the store and buy dozens of limes. Refuse a bag and walk down the street holding all your limes in your arms until you see someone you'd like to pick up. Drop all the limes right in front of them. They'll likely stop to help you pick them up. Just keep dropping them; fail in every conceivable way to hold onto the limes. After 20-30 seconds of this, look them straight in the eyes and say, "I'm really sorry. I'm just so bad at pick-up limes."
Are you planning to make mojitos on the first date?