25 Pickup Lines You Should Never Say If You Want To Score

Posted by , Updated on January 19, 2024

Pick up lines form the base of dating ridicule. While some lines are as smooth as peanut butter, others have issues…major issues. If you’re trying to pick someone up, we recommend you stay away from these horrible pick-up lines. Bordering or completely passing the line of strange, awkward, and downright creepy, here are 25 Pickup Lines You Should Never Say If You Want To Score.


"Are you my appendix? I don't know what you do or how you work but I feel like I should take you out."

YoungCoupleEmbracingSource: All_the_Candy via Reddit, Image: Wikipedia

Better to have a night in.


[Gesturing to your shirt] "Excuse me, do you know what material this is? I'm pretty sure it's boy/girlfriend material.

kid cudi pointingSource: Today Health, Image: Wikipedia

Bordering on the line of cocky and confident – what are you thinking?


"If you could be any enzyme, what would you be? I'd be DNA Helicase so I could unzip your genes."

DNA_replicationSource: SuperBrava via Reddit, Image: Wikipedia

A science geek’s worst pick up line…ever.


"Are you an orphanage? Because I want to give you kids."

Los_Angeles,_California._Scene_in_an_orphanage_for_children_of_Japanese_ancestry_prior_to_evacuationSource: FizzyFace via Reddit, Image: Wikimedia

WOAH. Just woah.


"I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

speed dating lineSource: Uncyclopedia, Image: Linh Do via Flickr

Sounds a bit desperate.


"Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. (S)he'd like your phone number to know where to get ahold of me in the morning."

feet in bedSource: SheKnows via Reddit, Image: Pixabay

A (failed) plot twist.


"You must have a p-value of at least 0.05, because I fail to reject you."

speed dating 2Source: BlackCats31 via Reddit , Image: Samuel Mann via Flickr

The statistician’s go-to pick up line.


You: "Hey did you drop something?" Them: "Umm, I don't think so." You: "Your standards. Hi! I'm ___."

beyonce-jay-z-Source: sigk via Reddit, Image: Wikipedia

Ah, good ol’ self-deprecation.


"What do you like for breakfast?"

Take_a_good_look_adams_kovacs_1960Source: Today Health, Image: Wikipedia

Don’t put the cart before the horse, buddy.


[Call someone over with a finger] "I just wanted to see if I could make you come with one finger."

not impressed face womenSource: AskMen, Image: MadLab Manchester Digital Laboratory via Flickr

What a creep.


"Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?"

wine drinkingSource: Cummy_Bears via Reddit, Image: Pixabay

At least it’s not as bad as the pick up line in #5 – but that’s not saying much.


"Hey, baby. Want a raisin? Sorry, none left. Perhaps a date then?"

Demi_Moore_and_Ashton_Kutcher_TechCrunch50Source: SheKnows, Image: Wikipedia

What a tease.


"My love for you is like diarrhea - I just can't keep it in."

pepto bismol bottleSource: AskMen, Image: Herr Hans Gruber via Flickr

That’s just gross.


"Heard you were looking for a stud. Well I've got an STD, all I need is you."

Etalon_race_ardennaiseSource: DenseNecros via Reddit, Image: Wikipedia

Run you fool!


"Would you help me with my math homework? I think I know a formula. You have to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs and pray you don't multiply if I am correct."

math atheist cartoonSource: Uncyclopedia, Image: Jessica Allan Schmidt via Flickr

You’re not correct. Ever.


"Can I get a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

santa shockedSource: Today Health, Image: Matti Mattila via Flickr

Someone has been a naughty boy/girl.


"Wanna go halves on a bastard?"

2011_Medicen_Business_datingSource: Bigassbird via Reddit, Image: Wikimedia

A bit of a full-frontal pick up line.


You: Do you have a boy/girlfriend? Them: Yes. You: That's ok. I'm not the jealous type.

Naya_Rivera_and_Heather_MorrisSource: Reddit, Image: Wikipedia

Homewreckers have started using horrible pick up lines, too.


"Hey cutie. I know Klingon and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!"

KlingonSource: Uncyclopedia, Image: Wikipedia

A Star Trek Klinger!


"Marry one, screw one, kill one. Me, Hitler or me again?"

Portrait_of_hitler_adolfSource: barrytheblender via Reddit, Image: Wikimedia

It seems Godwin’s Law(AKA Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies) also applies to flirting.


"Are you free tonight or will it cost me?"

hearts on sticksSource: Uncyclopedia, Image: Pixabay

Comparing a potential date to a sex worker will never get you a positive reaction.


A hockey player's response once he was told the girl he was hitting on had a boyfriend: "So? Just because there's a goalie, doesn't mean I can't score."

hockey goalieSource: RollYourBoat via Reddit, Image: Wikimedia

Easily the worst homewrecker pick up line on our list.


"Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."

girl angelSource: SheKnows, Image: Pixabay

What was supposed to be cute came across as a bit creepy.


[Put out your hand] "Will you hold this while I go for a walk?

couple holding handsSource: Today Health, Image: Wikipedia

It’s cute, but definitely better for the second date than a first impression.


Go to the store and buy dozens of limes. Refuse a bag and walk down the street holding all your limes in your arms until you see someone you'd like to pick up. Drop all the limes right in front of them. They'll likely stop to help you pick them up. Just keep dropping them; fail in every conceivable way to hold onto the limes. After 20-30 seconds of this, look them straight in the eyes and say, "I'm really sorry. I'm just so bad at pick-up limes."

old time flirtingSource: DoomyMcDoomDoom via Reddit, Image: o5com via Flickr

Are you planning to make mojitos on the first date?