If there was ever a list compiled of how not to pull of a robbery, this is it. Here are 25 of the world’s dumbest robbers, thieves, and delinquents.
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Shop with a cop
Timothy Clark thought that the “Shop with a Cop” charity event was the perfect time for him to steal some items from Walmart. Apparently he didn’t realize that the store was filled with cops who were also closely monitoring the surveillance cameras. Clark was caught on the spot.
Some very poor ad placement
Anamicka Dave was looking for a drug dealer so she posted an advertisement in Craiglist saying that she wanted some marijuana. The police saw her ad and arranged to meet with her through an undercover agent. Dave showed up and was immediately arrested.
Quick, what's the number for 911?
Willie Avery ordered some marijuana from a dealer for $10. When the marijuana dealer never returned, Avery decided to call 911 for help. The rest of the story is self explanatory.
It's manually complicated
Roy and Jessica Fritts had to get to Nevada and the best way to do that according to them was to hitchhike, kill the driver, and steal a car. The only problem was that the car was stick shift and they didn’t know how to drive stick shift.
Not only is staying fit good for your body, it also ensures that you won’t get stuck in the opening you busted through to rob that store. At least that’s what an English fellow by the name of Webster discovered recently.
An unpleasant surprise
A group of teenagers broke into a house and stole the cremated bodies of a man and two dogs, thinking that those were narcotics. They proceeded to snort the ashes, but much to their horror they found out that that the ashes were not narcotics after hearing from a news report that the cremated remains of a certain household were stolen earlier that day.
Some really bad timing
Virgine Ujlaky, a Hungarian fencing champion, was practicing fencing for an upcoming competition when Pal Nagy climbed in through the window of Ujlaky’s house to rob it. Ujlaky attacked him with a sword and pointed its blade against his throat, asking him to call the police. He did, and he was arrested 20 minutes later.
The courthouse carjacking
A 37-year old man drove a stolen Lexus SUV to court on the day that he was about to be convicted for an unrelated auto theft charge. Make that two charges.
The coffin burglar
A burglar broke into an antique store in the middle of the night. When the police arrived, they found the burglar lying inside a coffin pretending to be dead.
In 2008, a burglar tried to rob a house where several karate black-belts lived. Just when he was about to escape with his stolen gadgets, the karate masters caught him and…well, lets just say that it’s not a good idea to rob a house full of karate masters.
The DHL bandits
Krystal Evans and Denis McLure where on a mission to prevent the analysis of their urine samples. To accomplish their mission they rifled through a DHL truck, found their urine samples and destroyed them before sneaking away. Not only were they caught, but they had to give a second set of urine samples — which tested positive for meth. The ironic part is that the first samples were actually clean.
The negative side effects of facebook addiction
Being addicted to Facebook is bad but when Jonathan Parker robbed a Pennsylvania home he took things to the next level. In the middle of his robbery he decided to check his Facebook. Unfortunately for him he forgot to log out.
A poor choice
Randy lewis decided one night to go out drinking with his three kids. He got wasted, drugged, and to top it all off, decided it would be a smart idea to make his 10 year old a designated driver by handing him the keys. The poor boy wrecked the car and our friend Randy went to jail.
More manual mayhem
Another failed carjacking, when Frank Singleton got out of jail he realized he didn’t have enough money to buy a bus ticket. Back to stealing cars it was, but like several others on our list, this would be thief unfortunately didn’t know how to drive stick. He got caught trying to start the car.
Don't mess with Granny
Robert Hosley attempted to rob the apartment of a 95-year old woman. When he broke the window beside the front door to unlock the door from the inside of the house, the old woman repeatedly stabbed his hand with a screwdriver and loudly cried for help. Horsley gave up and tried to run away, but cops found him passed out on the front porch after suffering from blood loss.
Murder he wrote
Krystian Bala wrote a book about a murder case in 2000. Some police officers read the book and realized that the story portrayed in the book resembled an unsolved murder case. Bala was arrested soon after.
Always use a pseudonym
Christopher Kron robbed the restaurant where he was currently employed. He broke into the restaurant one night and tripped the alarm without turning it off. The security company called and Kron answered the phone, giving his real name. He even had the audacity to come into work the next day.
Get away...then party
An unnamed German robber decided to celebrate his exploit with a little too much champagne. He fell asleep in his car and when police were notified they found the stolen goods in his lap.
Once again...use a pseudonym
In order to rob a local store, Demetrius Robinson asked for a job application and waited until he was alone with the clerk. Unfortunately, he provided his real uncle’s contact information which made it easier for the police to catch him.
The opacity of the bag is important
When Jamie Neil and Gareth Tilley were robbing a gas station in Cornwall only one of them had remembered to bring a scarf for the purpose of disguise. The other decided to use a plastic bag. A very clear, transparent plastic bag.
Return to sender
Quinton Thomas was already imprisoned in Maryland because of armed robbery. While in jail, he wrote a letter to a friend outside and told him to kill anybody who was going to testify against him. He was confident that no one was going to know about the content of his letter because guards only screen incoming mails but not outgoing mails. Because of some problems with the address of the recipient, the letter was sent back to the police station and things didn’t end well for Quinton.
It wasn't all it was "cracked" up to be
When your crack is of no good quality, who do you complain too? Here’s a hint, not the cops. Unfortunately for a crackhead name Eloise, this is exactly what she did when she found out the drugs she purchased were no good.
There's a reason your mom said not to run with sharp objects
And this is why you never run with sharp objects. A not too bright thief decided to rob a hunting store for $300 worth of knives. Before he could exit the store though, he tripped and ended up stabbing himself.
A "high tech" robbery
In this new age of technology you don’t even need to go to the store anymore to rob it. You can just be like Daniel Glen try to convince them to empty their cash registers over the phone.
Mohammed Ashan was a mid-level Taliban commander in Afghanistan when he walked up to a joint US/Afghan army checkpoint waving a wanted poster with his face on it and demanding the $100 reward. He is no longer a Taliban commander.