Normally, inventing something is supposed to be a good thing. It’s how people advance. It’s how society advances. If we didn’t invent things, we would just stagnate. Ever since the industrial revolution, the pace of new inventions has increased drastically. Moving into the 21st century, it’s almost unbelievable how advanced we have become in the realms of science, medicine, and technology. There seems to be no end to the advancement. Until now.
To get things started, this list will no doubt contain its fair share of comic relief. So If you have eyelashes on your headlights, it’s okay to laugh. You don’t have to get mad. But for the rest of you, this list is sure to make you laugh straight through. There are just so many things that people have thought of that just don’t reflect very well on the rest of us. Ear candles? Reality TV? Shutter shades? Who in the world ever thought of these things? They’re definitely a step backwards in terms of human development. But that’s okay because at least we can laugh and have a good time talking about them. So here we go. These are 25 Inventions That Make Us Question Humanity!
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Air conditioned shoes
No Hydro-Tech, they’re just shoes with holes in them.
Possibly nothing else in history has led so many people to question the state of humanity.
Wearing them for hunting, gardening, or fishing makes sense. They’re functional and they get the job done. Wearing them to the grocery store? Your dignity will leak out through those holes.
As Seinfeld put it, we started doing hobbies that could potentially fracture our skulls. Instead of making those hobbies safer, or finding other hobbies, we just wore helmets and kept doing them.
First Segways, now Swagways. The only thing worse than these two is a Walmart scooter. ‘Murca.
This one has nearly reached plague status.
The actual product is genius. It’s the people that legitimately tried to rewind their DVD’s that we need to be worried about.
They are practical for sure, but definitely don’t wear these outside of North America, Europe, or Australia. You’re just asking to be kidnapped. Note: A baller’s bag is just as convenient (it doesn’t make your back hot in summer), nearly impossible to pickpocket without a knife, and they don’t make you look like a naive American.
So let’s get this straight…the jeans with the holes cost more? What if I buy these jeans, rip holes in them, and return them? At least show some consistency!
If you’re buying Fiji water, you obviously live in a 1st world country, and you probably haven’t traveled much. It’s called tap water, and its delicious.
New Year's glasses
This sort of made sense back when years had two big 0’s in the middle. They don’t anymore. It’s just weird now.
Socks with sandals
Germany, we want a word with you.
Toxin removing footpads
You can’t “detoxify” your body. In medical terms, it’s nonsense. If you’re buying anything to get “toxins” out of your body, you’re being scammed. As Edzard Ernst, emeritus professor of complementary medicine at Exeter University put it, “If toxins did build up in a way your body couldn’t excrete, you’d likely be dead or in need of serious medical intervention. The healthy body has kidneys, a liver, skin, even lungs that are detoxifying as we speak. There is no known way – certainly not through detox treatments – to make something that works perfectly well in a healthy body work better.”
These are actually the smartest thing on this list. They’re really low maintenance.
Spray on tans
Meanwhile in Asia they have whitening cream. So if you want to be super duper cool…you have to combine both.
HEADON! Apply directly to the forehead!
Because they had unprovable claims of pain relief, they had no choice but to loop this annoying phrase in their advertisement. Just watching it once will make you want to break your screen. Apparently though, people actually bought it.
You won’t BELIEVE what we thought of next!
Do you seriously want to look like Kanye West? Like really truly seriously?
Anything "as seen on TV"
And what’s worse is some of these are for disabled people. Think about that.
Yes, there are actually people out there that light candles and stick them in their ears (the non-burning part). And as usual, it removes those pesky “toxins.”
The worst thing about this is that even on formerly respectable channels like Discovery, reality shows have replaced programming that actually made us smarter.
Eyelashes on headlights
And now there are moustaches on car grills…
Hats with the sticker on them
You know what says cool more than anything else? Living with your parents, not paying rent, and wearing flat billed hats with the price tag still on them.
Fortunately, Power Balance retracted it’s claims that these bracelets could use holographic technology to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of the body, thus increasing sporting ability.” But as with all the toxin-related trickery, they managed to fool a lot of people.