Depending on who you are, this might be right up your alley, or not up your alley at all. Typically that’s the way it goes. You either appreciate dry humor, or you don’t. Today’s brand of humor is more than just dry, though. It’s a also intellectual. It’s going to require you to stop and think for a minute. Maybe a few minutes. In fact, you might have to google why the joke is even funny. However, for those of you that love and appreciate dry humor, chances are you make witty and intellectual jokes all the time. Maybe you’re the kind of person who cracks jokes and nobody laughs. Okay, maybe you’re just not funny. But…if you are the kind of person that cracks a joke, nobody laughs, and you know for a fact that it was funny…then this list is for you.
To make things clear, by the end of this list, if you’re shaking your head saying, “that list was dumb,” don’t feel bad. It doesn’t mean you’re dumb. You might get there one day. If you enjoyed this list, then props to you. You’re as dry as the Sahara. These are 25 intellectual jokes that will really make you think!
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A German walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Dry?" The German responds, "Nein, just one."
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
Buddha walks into pizza shop and says "Make me one with everything."
What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist?
The etymologist could tell you
Did you know that at absolute zero you would be 0K?
Who is this Rorschach guy, and why does he paint so many pictures of my mom and dad fighting?
A neutrino walks through a bar...
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
* because it wants to eat the bar…is it tender?
What do you get if you integrate 1/cabin with respect to cabin?
A log cabin by the sea
∫(1/cabin) = loge(cabin) + c
Entropy isn't what it used to be
I, for one, like Roman numerals
The past, present, and future walk into a bar...it was very tense
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Tell them to pronounce “unionized” (un-ionized)
Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...followed by Batman
Why do anarchists only drink herbal tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
This sentence cotnains exactly two errors.
* the second error is that there is only 1 error
Oscar Wilde said he could make a pun on any subject. Someone suggested the Queen. Without skipping a beat, Oscar responds, "The Queen is not a subject."
Why did the chicken cross the möbius strip?
To get to the same side
When Noah told the animals to go and multiply, two snakes replied, "But we can't multiply because we're adders." So Noah cut down a tree and built a table. The next day he called them and said, "Even though you are adders, you can now multiply. I have built you a table of logs."
If you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the precipitate
I was going to tell you a joke about UDP, but I'm afraid you won't get it.
Knock knock. Who’s there?