25 Incredibly Lame But Somewhat Useful Superpowers

Posted by , Updated on February 13, 2024

Superpowers are by their very nature not lame. How could they be? They’re super. It’s in the name. Today though, we are going to switch things up just a little bit. Obviously this list isn’t meant to be informative. It’s not even meant to be funny. It’s more of a thought experiment. Is it possible? Could we possibly come up with superpowers that are so lame you wouldn’t even be excited about having them, but at the same time so useful that you would probably use them more than you would think? The answer is, yes. We can come up with those superpowers, and we did come up with those lame and useful superpowers.

Whether it is the ability to find exactly what you are looking for or the ability to wake up exactly when you want to, these superpowers are too lame to brag about. Your friends would definitely not be impressed, and even if you wanted to impress them, there’s not too many impressive things that you could do with your superpower anyway. So, in honor of all the normal, average, regular Joes and Janes out there, let’s take a closer look at these 25 incredibly lame but somewhat useful superpowers.

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Featured Image: Gareth Simpson via Flickr

25

Understanding dogs when they bark

Understanding dogs when they barkImage: pixabay

It’s probably about food.

24

Perfect hindsight

Perfect hindsight

The ability too see exactly how everything went wrong in bad situations.

23

Inserting the USB into the port perfectly on the first attempt

Inserting the USB into the port perfectly on the first attemptImage: wikipedia

This would be perfect for low light situations.

22

Knowing exactly how long to reheat food in the microwave.

Knowing exactly how long to reheat food in the microwaveImage: wikipedia

No more guesswork.

21

Stopping grass from growing

Stopping grass from growingImage: pixabay

Now this would be practical.

20

Never losing your personal belongings

Never losing your personal belongings

Who wouldn’t want this?

19

Turning everything transparent...except the thing you're looking for

Turning everything transparent...except the thing you're looking forImage: pixabay

Just in case you still somehow manage to lose something.

18

Turning invisible when nobody is watching you

Turning invisible when nobody is watching you

At least you’d always be able to tell if you’re within somebody’s line of sight.

17

Being able to tell what people are listening to on their iPod

Being able to tell what people are listening to on their iPodImage: wikipedia

At least it would be entertaining.

16

Being able to even everything out

Being able to even everything out

You’d basically be the OCD hero. Crooked picture? Not anymore!

15

Constantly emitting a strong, stable wi-fi signal

Constantly emitting a strong, stable wi-fi signalImage: pixabay

Admittedly, this will become less useful with time.

 

Fascinated by the idea of superpowers? Here are 25 Incredible People With Real Superpowers.

14

Eating anything you want and not having it affect your health

Eating not affecting your healthImage: wikipedia

It’s time to eat cake.

13

Functioning normally without sleep

Functioning normally without sleepImage: pixabay

That’s a lot of extra time right there.

12

Remembering people's names the first time

Remembering people's names the first time

Instant respect.

11

The ability to increase your internet speed to the advertised amount

The ability to increase your internet speed to the advertised amountImage: wikipedia

Because you’re basically paying them to not give you anything faster than that.

10

Bug repellent skin

Bug repellant skinImage: wikipedia

Some people seem to already have this one….

9

Always knowing the perfect thing to say in any situation

Always knowing the perfect thing to say in any situationImage: pixabay

For most people, this only happens when you’re taking a shower the next morning.

8

Being able to convince people that paper doesn't exist

Being able to convince people that paper doesn't existImage: wikipedia

Just throw rock, you’ll win every time.

7

Never having to the use the bathroom

Never having to the use the bathroomImage: pixabay

Kind of like Kim Jong Un.

6

The ability to make toilet paper magically appear out of thin air

The ability to make toilet paper magically appear out of thin airImage: wikipedia

Unfortunately, once you acquire the previous power, this one would become obsolete.

5

Being able to teleport to and from work

Being able to teleport to and from workImage: wikipedia

Forget rush hour.

4

Being able to telepathically turn out the lights

Being able to telepathically turn out the lightsImage: wikipedia

No more getting out of bed.

3

Being able to fall asleep on command

Being able to fall asleep on commandImage: wikipedia

If you can’t have the “no-sleep” superpower, then this could be your consolation.

2

Being able to turn your hearing off (and on)

Being able to turn your hearing off (and on)Image: Chief Trent via Flickr

Unfortunately, most of this power’s usefulness would be nullified by the previous power.

1

Being able to communicate in every language

Being able to communicate in every languageImage: wikipedia

Although this sounds like a legit superpower, if you ask most people, they’d probably inform you of its lameness. But man would it be useful.

 

If you liked this list and also like art, check out these 25 Bewildering Renditions Of Supernatural Powers.