25 Hilarious Tweets That Will Help You Get Through The Day

Have you ever laughed at a tweet? Do you know someone who has mastered the art of creating the most hilarious tweets? Maybe you are that master or maybe you’re just a happy recipient? No matter where you are or who you are you can’t deny that everyone appreciates a funny tweet, so we want to bring you just that–funny tweets to make you laugh. Whether it’s a silly one liner or a profound reflection into the depths of our absurd world, these are 25 hilarious tweets that will help you get through the day!

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25
most cutting thing you can say is who's this clown because it implies they're a) a clown and b) not even one of the better known clowns
24
hi grandma can you come over and pick me up from my rap battle? no, its over. I lost. he saw you drop me off
23
shipwrecked diary. Day 1) alone mentally sound doing well. met a crab Day 2) I have married the crab Day 3) i have eaten my wife
22
yo girl are you a zero apr load? Because i don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest
21
wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward
20
fifth third bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something i generally look for in a bank
19
walk up in the club like "this is my jam" handing out small jars of homemade raspberry preserves
18
a steak pun is a rare medium well done
17
fortune cookie: you just broke my house in half and now you're reading my journal!
16
what my girlfriend thought: 1. nice shirt 2. wow, a second nice shirt 3. okay first shirt again 4. he has two shirts
15
[sees girl reading the catcher in the rye] "ah i love that book. They way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye"
14
they'll never win a war on drugs. It's hard enough to win a war even when you're not on drugs
13
nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman
12
after i ask a stranger if i can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond "i'll keep that in mind"
11
i hope the guy who just cut me off in traffic has his fav book made into a movie & the characters are nothing like he imagined them
10
invent a drink called "responsibly" and your advertising is set forever
9
invent a drink called "responsibly" and your advertising is set forever
8
sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses
7
sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses
6
is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat
5
write the name of someone you hate on your body everyday in permanent marker so no matter how you die they'll become a suspect
4
warning: if you see posts offering free clip of the new nickelback album do not click. It links to a free clip of the new nickelback album
3
what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didn't win that coach would feel stupid
2
i just tried to make reservations at the library. You don't need a res- "couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"
1
we should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys


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