Literature

25 Hilarious Tweets That Will Help You Get Through The Day

Posted by Sameen, Updated on November 19, 2022

Have you ever laughed at a tweet? Do you know someone who has mastered the art of creating the most hilarious tweets? Maybe you are that master or maybe you’re just a happy recipient? No matter where you are or who you are you can’t deny that everyone appreciates a funny tweet, so we want to bring you just that–funny tweets to make you laugh. Whether it’s a silly one liner or a profound reflection into the depths of our absurd world, these are 25 hilarious tweets that will help you get through the day!

25

most cutting thing you can say is who's this clown because it implies they're a) a clown and b) not even one of the better known clowns

24

hi grandma can you come over and pick me up from my rap battle? no, its over. I lost. he saw you drop me off

23

shipwrecked diary. Day 1) alone mentally sound doing well. met a crab Day 2) I have married the crab Day 3) i have eaten my wife

22

yo girl are you a zero apr load? Because i don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest

21

wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward

20

fifth third bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something i generally look for in a bank

19

walk up in the club like "this is my jam" handing out small jars of homemade raspberry preserves

18

a steak pun is a rare medium well done

17

fortune cookie: you just broke my house in half and now you're reading my journal!

16

what my girlfriend thought: 1. nice shirt 2. wow, a second nice shirt 3. okay first shirt again 4. he has two shirts

15

[sees girl reading the catcher in the rye] "ah i love that book. They way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye"

14

they'll never win a war on drugs. It's hard enough to win a war even when you're not on drugs

13

nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman

12

after i ask a stranger if i can pet their dog and they say yes, I like to respond "i'll keep that in mind"

11

i hope the guy who just cut me off in traffic has his fav book made into a movie & the characters are nothing like he imagined them

10

invent a drink called "responsibly" and your advertising is set forever

9

invent a drink called "responsibly" and your advertising is set forever

8

sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses

7

sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses

6

is there anything more capitalist than a peanut with a top hat, cane, and monocle selling you other peanuts to eat

5

write the name of someone you hate on your body everyday in permanent marker so no matter how you die they'll become a suspect

4

warning: if you see posts offering free clip of the new nickelback album do not click. It links to a free clip of the new nickelback album

3

what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didn't win that coach would feel stupid

2

i just tried to make reservations at the library. You don't need a res- "couldn't get one though" Don't do this "They were fully booked"

1

we should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they'll dig the wrong way. It's called thinking ahead guys

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