While it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, parenting can actually be quite wonderful. Their cuddles and hugs, their soft skin, their fascinating view of the world, their adoration, their vomit. Wait. What? Okay so maybe their vomit is not the best part of being a parent. Like most things in life, though, we have to take the good with the bad. Many parents will whisper things like, “You’re so lucky you’re cute!” after experiencing a “special” moment with their offspring. Parents of babies and toddlers all hope that things are a little less gross (or at least different) the older their kids get, but for the first few years, they discover a side of themselves that they never knew they had: the side that handles unspeakable grossness. Take a look at this list of 25 Gross Aspects To Parenting You Probably Never Thought About; you’ll soon realize that it really IS a good thing that they are so stinkin’ cute.
Your bed (and therefore bed sheets) are no longer sacred territory
If you thought your partner was bad about crumbs, nothing compares to your darling toddler. Cookies and crackers, granola bars and pretzels…crumbs happen. Sometimes the crumbs are found partially-chewed. Busy week? You might even find empty fruit and veggie puree pouches or lids. However, none of this compares to baby/toddler pee or vomit. Those will happen, too. Hopefully, you remember to change the bed sheets before it’s time to go to sleep again.
There's baby wearing and also baby bodily fluid wearing
It goes without saying, but at one point or the other, you’ll end up stuck in a situation where you’re in public with some sort of baby bodily fluid on your clothes. I’ve even heard that some parents carry extra clothes in their cars or diaper bag for this very reason. You always remember to bring an extra outfit or 3 for Junior, but that does nothing to help you when things spill over to you.
You and your child share germs in odd ways
If you see your son or daughter eating something you didn’t give them, you might run up and take it from their mouth to make sure it’s not a choking hazard. Upon discovering it’s actually just a cookie from the night before, you might struggle with the decision to give it back or just pop it in your mouth yourself.
Floaties left in your drink? Those just add to the flavor of your water or juice.
You think and talk about bowel movements more than you ever thought you would
Did they poop today? How much? What was the consistency? Poop also starts to become a topic of fun catching up between you and your other half. “Oh. My. God. Babe! You will never believe the massive poop I had to clean up today!”
You pick their nose
It doesn’t matter if it’s at home or in public. If your baby has a boogie within reach, you’ll get it.