25 Funny Headlines That Actually Should Have Come From The Onion (But Didn’t)

Do you read The Onion? Many people know The Onion to be a satirical news source with absurd stories that are obviously fictitious from the title of their headlines. Nobody takes it seriously, and that’s the way it should be.

Yet there are some news stories that one may think comes from this untrue news source, but these stories are actually true, albeit very funny.

You may have a hard time believing some of these are actual news stories, but we also provided the articles. Some are funny; others are just cringe-worthy. Here are 25 Funny Headlines That Actually Should Have Come From The Onion (But Didn’t)

Subscribe to List25

Last Updated on


Pug starts fight with police dog during 4 hour stand off


While police were outside the home of a robbery suspect in Phoenix, Arizona, a neighborhood pug tried to start a fight with the police’s much larger and highly trained police dog.

Luckily, no dog was injured. Perhaps the saying, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog” may need to be reexamined.


Taliban hostage thought captors were joking that Trump was president


Joshua Boyle and his wife, Caitlan Coleman, were hostages of the Haqqani network in Afghanistan. They were deprived of any information that came from the outside world while enduring cruel punishment at the hands of their captors.

They endured this nightmare for five years. When they were told that reality T.V. star Donald Trump was now the president, they thought someone was playing a cruel joke.


Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaults ex-girlfriend who waved at man dressed as Snickers bar


Sandra Talbot attacked her ex-girlfriend at a well known gay bar in Dublin, Ireland. The fight supposedly started over the sumo suit that Talbot was wearing, and grew violent when Talbot’s ex-girlfriend, Adrienne Martin, waved at another patron wearing a “Snickers” costume.

We’re guessing the relationship had been “nuts” from the beginning.


Student excited that dad got head job


The student the article is referring to is Samantha Mangino, whose father had been hired as an assistant coach for Oklahoma.

We’re happy for this dad, but the editor may want to look over articles a little more carefully next time.


Shoplifter shoves chainsaw down his pants


The interesting aspect of this robbery is not that the man shoved a chainsaw down his pants, but how much effort he went into stealing the chainsaw. He shoved the blade down his pants and then covered the handle with his jacket.

He got away in a getaway car driven by an accomplice who apparently had been “casing the joint” a week before the incident.

SEE ALSO: 15 Science Projects Better Than Making Slime (Your Kids Will Agree!) »

NOW WATCH: 25 Amazing Facts You Didn't Know About Animals

Subscribe to List25

What do you think?

-1 points
Upvote Downvote
dinosaurs that would make great pets

20 Bizarre Dinosaurs That Would’ve Made Great Pets

TV show remake

25 Nearly Forgotten Movies and TV Shows That Deserve Reboots