25 Extremely Bizarre Research Papers

“Cure for a headache”, British Journal of Ophthalmology, 2002

The answer is basically that, no, they don’t get headaches because they have sturdy jaws and small brains.

Although they are obviously the same, researchers at Illinois State University determined that people consistently rated the lead as weighing more.

“Are full or empty beer bottles sturdier and does their fracture-threshold suffice to break the human skull?”, University of Bern

Apparently full bottles strike with more force, but both can be used to break skulls.

David Michael Jacobs. 1992. Secret Life: Firsthand, Documented Accounts of UFO Abductions. New York: Simon & Schuster

The basic conclusion of these medical researchers from Harvard and Temple Universities was that people have indeed been abducted and the primary reason was the “production of children”. We’re not even joking.

Sweeney, WB; Krafte-Jacobs, B; Britton, JW; Hansen, W (1993). “The constipated serviceman: prevalence among deployed U.S. troops.”. Military medicine

A pressing question, this study features some of the most detailed statistical analyses ever performed regarding rates of defecation.

Beaumont, R. H. (1990). “Patient preference for waxed or unwaxed dental floss”. Journal of periodontology

After pages upon pages of thrilling suspense, the conclusion is…waxed floss. Patients prefer waxed floss.

Georget, D. M. R.; Parker, R.; Smith, A. C. (1994). “A study of the effects of water content on the compaction behaviour of breakfast cereal flakes”. Powder Technology

As you may have suspected (and any 3rd grader could confidently tell you) the water makes it soggy. But it’s always good to have research papers backing up your observations.

Bakkevig, M. K.; Nielsen, R. (1994). “Impact of wet underwear on thermoregulatory responses and thermal comfort in the cold”. Ergonomics

The University of Denmark really went all in with this one. The answer is a resounding yes, wearing wet underwear outside during winter will definitely make you feel cold. Good to know.

Baerheim, A; Sandvik, H (1994). “Effect of ale, garlic, and soured cream on the appetite of leeches”

How can you get a leech to suck more blood? Apparently dunking it in ale or smearing it with soured cream do the trick.

Vonnegut, B. (1975). “Chicken Plucking as Measure of Tornado Wind Speed”. Weatherwise

They can in fact! All you have to do is determine the exact wind speed at which all of a chicken’s feathers get blown off. After that you just apply some fancy mathematics and voila!…you have your answer.

Sidoli, M. (1996). “Farting as a defence against unspeakable dread”. Journal of Analytical Psychology

Of course farting makes you feel better physically, but what about mentally? Apparently it can, because according to these researchers, farting can actually prevent depression.

Fisher, L. (1999). “Physics takes the biscuit”. Nature

It’s complicated. Actually, it’s so complicated that it took an entire research paper to figure it out.

“On the Comparative Palatability of Some Dry-Season Tadpoles from Costa Rica”, Richard Wassersug, The American Midland Naturalist

For all you “dry-season Costa Rican tadpole” lovers out there, you can finally put your questions to rest.

Berry, M. V.; Geim, A. K. (1997). “Of flying frogs and levitrons” (PDF). European Journal of Physics

They can, and they did.

Wyatt, JP; McNaughton, GW; Tullett, WM (1993). “The collapse of toilets in Glasgow”. Scottish medical journal

According to these researchers, very dangerous. And as toilets age, the danger of collapsing toilets only increases.

Barss, P. (1984). “Injuries due to falling coconuts”. The Journal of trauma

We already know that collapsing toilets are dangerous, so how about coconuts? Canadian researchers answer our question with a resounding yes, falling coconuts have the potential to kill you.

Anthony Ramirez (15 July 2001). “How to Avoid Being Attacked in the Shower”. The New York Times

It’s something we have all tried to avoid…the inevitable attack of the shower curtain. And now we have science to rescue us, or at least explain why the curtain behaves the way it does.

Andrade, C.; Srihari, B. S. (2001). “A preliminary survey of rhinotillexomania in an adolescent sample”. The Journal of clinical psychiatry

They do. At least according to this research paper adolescents engage in rhinotillexomania (nose picking) quite often.

“The Great Bellybutton Lint Survey: The Results – ABC Science Online”

Karl Kruszelnicki of The University of Sydney, Australia, did an in depth survey of numerous people concerning the quantity and quality of their bellybutton lint. He found that you are more likely to have fluff if you are male, older, hairy, and have an innie belly button.

Silvers, V.; Kreiner, D. (1997). “The effects of pre-existing inappropriate highlighting on reading comprehension”. Literacy Research and Instruction

When you get a used textbook and it comes with nearly everything highlighted in a gazillion colors, does it actually affect your ability to learn the material? The answer is yes, it does.

Sreekumar, K. P.; Nirmalan, G. (1990). “Estimation of the total surface area in Indian elephants (Elephas maximus indicus)”. Veterinary research communications

Quite a bit, according to these researchers.

Harvey, J. T.; Culvenor, J.; Payne, W.; Cowley, S.; Lawrance, M.; Stuart, D.; Williams, R. (2002). “An analysis of the forces required to drag sheep over various surfaces”. Applied ergonomics

In case you ever wondered what sort of surface is the most conducive to dragging sheep across it, this is your study.

Stack, S.; Gundlach, J. (1992). “The Effect of Country Music on Suicide”. Social Forces

Although correlation does not imply causation, people who listen to country music do in fact suffer from higher rates of suicide.

Greenemeier, Larry. “Fact or Fiction?: The 5-Second Rule for Dropped Food”

While certainly not perfect, this study does lend it some legitimacy.

Gettelfinger, B.; Cussler, E. L. (2004). “Will humans swim faster or slower in syrup?”. AIChE Journal

Apparently comparable velocities can be attained in both media.