There are so many lists out there concerned with increasing life expectancy. What if we took a slightly different approach? These are the 25 most effective ways to decrease your life expectancy and die young.
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Go sunbathing on the White House Lawn
Between snipers, attack dogs, and other super advanced robotic anti sunbather weaponry this should be one of your last resorts.
Run across Kenya with raw steaks of prime rib hanging from your belt buckle
We feel as though this one doesn’t really need an explanation. Your life expectancy will be directly correlated to the effectiveness of your evasive maneuvers.
Become a drug dealer in Chicago
With one of the highest levels of violent crime on Earth, Chicago’s gang and drug industry has an astronomically morbid turnover rate if you can follow.
Whatever you do never visit Japan...or the Mediterranean
Sure, the Mediterranean countries might get a bad rap for being lazy and just relaxing all day…but guess what? They live very, very long lives. This is absolutely not where you want to be.
Insult Kim Jong-Il while visiting North Korea
This is more like it. If there is any place on Earth guaranteed to decrease your life expectancy, North Korea would certainly be a contender. Add a public insult to Kimmy Il and you can probably count the seconds you have left on one hand.