Depending on the country you live in, the name you want to give your baby may be illegal. One would hope parents always have their children’s best interest in mind. But as some countries have discovered, that’s not always the case. While Canada and the United States have few naming laws, other countries like Mexico, Denmark, and Australia are much more restrictive due to some poor naming choices by parents. These are 25 Dumbest Illegal Baby Names.
Germany has several baby name restrictions, including no last names, names of objects, or names leading to humiliation. But one, in particular, might not seem too surprising. It’s illegal to name your child Adolf Hitler. This makes total sense.
Do you love Metallica and live in Sweden? Are you yearning to name your child after the band? You will be sad to hear the country doesn’t allow it. Enacted in 1982, the Naming Law took steps to stop parents from naming their children things which might cause offense or discomfort.
It’s hard to imagine parents wanting to name their child Anus, but there was one couple who did. Luckily, Denmark wasn’t having any of it. Denmark has a list of 7,000 approved baby names. If your name isn’t on there, then you have to seek approval.
No, we didn’t bash the keyboard with our head to make that name. In Sweden, someone wanted to name their child, “BRFXXCCXXMNPCCCCLLLMMNPRXVCLMNCKSSQLBB11116” Supposedly, it’s pronounced, “Albin.” We’ll just take their word for it. Of course, Sweden didn’t allow it.
Parents in Mexico wanted to name their child Circumcision for reasons beyond understanding. Thankfully, Mexico didn’t allow it and made it illegal.
French parents wanted to name their daughter Nutella, after the delicious hazelnut spread. However, a judge swiftly put a stop to it, saying the name would lead to derision. He instead said a more appropriate name would be “Ella.”
Australia also has a nice list of banned baby names, and Roman sounding names totally make the list, including “Chief Maximus,” which all things considered isn’t too bad.
In Norway, a woman ended up in jail for two days because she refused to change her baby’s name from “Gesher.” The word means “Bridge” in Hebrew, and it came to her in a dream.
A name of great offense in Iceland is none other than Harriet. That’s right. The name Harriet is illegal in Iceland. The country claims all names must have Icelandic grammatical endings.
We’re not even sure where to begin with this one. A New Zealand judge put a stop to the name Sex Fruit among many other names he deemed illegal…which we’ll get to soon.
At first glance, Akuma doesn’t seem too bad until you find out it means “Devil.” Japanese authorities stepped in to stop the father from naming his child Devil, and a legal battle ensued. Fortunately, the father backed down and decided to name his child something other than an all destructive force.
In Malaysia, “Chow Tow” roughly means “Smelly Head.” The parents who wanted to name their child this might as well have called them, “Bully Me.” With that in mind, the Malaysian government made the right call to ban it entirely.
If you live in Mexico and are a big fan of Robocop, then you’ll be sad to hear you can’t name your child after the powerful cyborg sworn to serve and protect.
While in the United States and Canada you can name your child almost anything, they do put a few limits on baby naming. That includes symbols and numbers. So for those of you who want to name your child “@” in those countries, it’s not going to happen.
Meanwhile, in the government of Saudia Arabia, the name “Linda” has been considered foreign, inappropriate, and in contradiction to the religion of the kingdom. Other grave names banned are Alice, Elaine, Lauren, and Sandy.
Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii
Back in New Zealand, parents had their custody taken away from a nine-year-old for naming her Taula Does the Hula from Hawaii. The state took custody of the child because she was embarrassed by her name and told her friends her name was “K.” The court decided the parents were unfit with very poor judgment, setting up their child with an unnecessary social handicap.
Of the very limited list of 7,000 names Denmark has approved, “Monkey” wasn’t one of them.
Portugal has a massive 90-page list of approved and banned names. Portuguese parents wanting to name their child “Nirvana” will be sorely disappointed it didn’t make the cut.
It makes sense the Malaysian government isn’t keen on parents naming their children Woti, which means “sexual intercourse.” Now, why parents would be keen on that idea is another issue entirely.
You can’t name your child Facebook in Mexico. Either Mexico has a beef with Mark Zuckerberg or they just don’t want parents to make the dumb decision of naming their child after a social network. We’re going with the latter.
Osama Bin Laden
German authorities did what any rational person would do and denied a Turkish family’s request to name their child Osama Bin Laden. Naming your child after a terrorist and mass murderer is probably not a great idea.
Putting a limit on culturally relevant topics, Sonora, Mexico also put the kibosh on naming your child Batman. Though, definite props to the parents who tried.
Similar to Akuma, naming your child Lucifer, the fallen angel in the Bible who became Satan, is not the smartest idea. New Zealand especially isn’t having any of it, banning it completely.
We all love to use the infamous acronym “LOL” on the internet. However, a line needed to be drawn somewhere, and Austrailia drew a firm one on baby names. It’s for the best.
Sonora, Mexico clearly doesn’t want to have any fun. Of the many names it banned, the classic science fiction android hunting down humanity is one of them. While you can’t name your baby Terminator there, perhaps you can name it “Hasta la vista.”
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