Many times we don’t give it much thought, but countless expressions that we and those around us habitually speak are not designed to be interpreted verbatim. When someone asks how you are, the typical response is usually “fine, thank you,” regardless of your true situation. Below are 25 Unauthentic Phrases People Use Everyday.
Featured Image: Julia Rauluseviciute via flickr
Did you find everything okay?
Well, that’s why I’m here at the checkout counter…because I found everything. If I didn’t find everything, I wouldn’t be here yet. But that’s okay. I know it’s part of your script.
“Tell *insert name here* I said hi!” “Ok, of course I will.”
You’re both liars….lol
We need to talk more.
Image: someecards.com This is what people say when the conversation is almost over, and they don’t have any interest in talking to you more.
Till death do us part
Image: pixabay (public domain) Or…until this marriage becomes inconvenient.
Just a second
Image: pixabay.com (public domain) It’s always more than a second.
That’s funny!
If it were actually funny, you’d be actually laughing.
Call me if you need anything.
Translation – please don’t call me. I hope everything works out, though!
Do you want a bite?
Image: pexels I just got this food, and I really hope you say no, but I’m offering because that’s the nice thing to do.
I’m fine.
In the vast majority of circumstances, this means the direct opposite.
I’ll have a look later.
No, you won’t.
I hate/love that.
It really only means that they dislike/like it.
lol
No, you’re not.
I won’t tell anyone.
Well…I’ll only tell people who I don’t think will tell anyone else.
I hate drama.
What they really means is that they hate being involved in drama. But they love to start it. And watch it unfold.
I’m just not ready for a relationship
…with you.
I’m moving to Canada when *insert event here*
No, you’re not. Besides, they don’t want you anyway.
Thoughts and prayers to all the victims
Says every politician ever. A relatively accurate translation would be, “people died, but we are not going to do anything about it except maybe try to boost our voting base.”
Ouch
Usually uttered after barely bumping into something. When it really does hurt, people don’t typically say much of anything at all because all their energy goes into clenching their teeth.
I don’t care what other people think about me.
But you want people to think that you’re a person who doesn’t care what other people think about you…so apparently you care about that.
Literally
Usually, they mean “figuratively.”
I am 18 years of age or older.
Says every teenager that’s not 18 and wants to watch that youtube video.
No offense, but *insert offense here*
Well, normally that would be super offensive, but since you prefaced it with “no offense,” it’s not offensive at all!
I have read and agreed to the terms of service.
You mean you scrolled down looking for the agree button.
Your call is very important to us.
Image: www.pexels.com (public domain) Yeah, right!
We should meet up sometime.
Image: www.photos-public-domain.com Translation – I really don’t care if we meet again because otherwise I would make plans with you right now.
Photos: 25. Nate Grigg via flickr, 8. Steven Depolo via flickr, 3. nyphotographic.com via jphotostyle.com
