Dad jokes usually deserve an eye roll. So, calling a dad joke “funny” might seem like a ludicrous statement, but they do exist. Most of the time dad jokes are just really bad puns. But once in a while, they’re clever and witty and totally take you off guard. But which dad jokes will stand the test of time? Here are 25 Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes That Are Actually Quite Funny.
I gave all my dead batteries away today...
Free of charge
Can February march?
No, but April May
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.
I thought it was a nice jester.
I heard there was a new store called moderation.
They have everything in there.
Are you all right?
No, I’m only half left.
I knew I shouldn't have eaten that seafood.
Because now I’m feeling a little…eel.
I have a fear of speed bumps.
I’m slowly getting over it.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
He woke up.
How does the turkey smell?
I guess through its beak.
Hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food was great, there was just no atmosphere.
My dad didn't have 19 candles, but he had a 4 candle.
So, he said this candle is 4 your birthday.
What did the inventor of the shovel say about it?
This is groundbreaking.
I dreamed about drowning in a ocean of orange soda last night.
It was just a Fanta sea.
I don't trust those trees, son.
They seem kind of shady.
Father: Are you cold?
Daughter: Yes!
Father: You should sit in a corner.
Daughter: Why?
Father: Because it’s 90 degrees.
Father: What are you drinking, son?
Son: Soy milk.
Father: Hola milk, soy Padre.
What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?
Udder Destruction.
Someone said my clothes were gay...
I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”
When you have a bladder infection...
Urine trouble.
I wasn't able to make reservations at the library.
They’re completely booked.
Luke Skywalker: I'm never going to join you.
Darth Vader: Hi, I’m never going to join you, I’m your father.
What time did the man go the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Nurse: Do you smoke?
Dad: Only when I’m on fire.
Photo: Featured Image: imgur (fair use: parody), 25. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 24. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 23. Laragiddingsofficial, Clownforlaragiddings, CC BY-SA 4.0, 22. Joseph Mischyshyn, Falcarragh – Spar convenience store off N56 – geograph.org.uk – 1332763, CC BY-SA 2.0, 21. Wikipedia Commons.com (Public Domain), 20. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 19. User:Mattes, Bad Säckingen — Speed bumps, CC BY 2.0 DE, 18. PROJohn Morgan via flickr. CC BY 2.0, 17. Wikipedia Commons.com (Public Domain), 16. User:Silvercat, Full Moon Japan, CC BY-SA 3.0, 15. PublicDomainPictures.net (Public Domain), 14. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 13. Pexels.com (Public Domain), 12. Blackash at English Wikipedia, Person-tree, CC BY 3.0, 11. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 10. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 9. James Rickwood, Cattle eating grass through barbed wire fence, CC BY 2.0, 8. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 7. Pexels.com (Public Domain), 6. Marcus Hansson from Göteborg, Sweden, Interior view of Stockholm Public Library, CC BY 2.0, 5. Steve Troughton via flickr. (Public Domain), 4 – 2. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 1. Jeremy Tarling via flickr. CC BY-SA 2.0
