25 Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes That Are Actually Quite Funny

Dad jokes usually deserve an eye roll. So, calling a dad joke “funny” might seem like a ludicrous statement, but they do exist. Most of the time dad jokes are just really bad puns. But once in a while, they’re clever and witty and totally take you off guard. But which dad jokes will stand the test of time? Here are 25 Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes That Are Actually Quite Funny.

25

I gave all my dead batteries away today...

dead battery

Free of charge

24

Can February march?

march

No, but April May

23

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me.

clown

I thought it was a nice jester.

22

I heard there was a new store called moderation.

convenience

They have everything in there.

21

Are you all right?

left

No, I’m only half left.

20

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that seafood.

crab

Because now I’m feeling a little…eel.

19

I have a fear of speed bumps.

speed bumps

I’m slowly getting over it.

18

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

napping

He woke up.

17

How does the turkey smell?

turkey

I guess through its beak.

16

Hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

Full_Moon_Japan

The food was great, there was just no atmosphere.

15

My dad didn't have 19 candles, but he had a 4 candle.

birthday cake

So, he said this candle is 4 your birthday.

14

What did the inventor of the shovel say about it?

shovel

This is groundbreaking.

13

I dreamed about drowning in a ocean of orange soda last night.

ocean

It was just a Fanta sea.

12

I don't trust those trees, son.

person tree

They seem kind of shady.

11

Father: Are you cold?

winter

Daughter: Yes!
Father: You should sit in a corner.
Daughter: Why?
Father: Because it’s 90 degrees.

10

Father: What are you drinking, son?

soy milk

Son: Soy milk.
Father: Hola milk, soy Padre.

9

What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?

cattle barbed wire

Udder Destruction.

8

Someone said my clothes were gay...

shirts

I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”

7

When you have a bladder infection...

smiling

Urine trouble.

6

I wasn't able to make reservations at the library.

library

They’re completely booked.

5

Luke Skywalker: I'm never going to join you.

darth vader

Darth Vader: Hi, I’m never going to join you, I’m your father.

4

What time did the man go the dentist?

dentist

Tooth hurt-y.

3

Two goldfish are in a tank.

goldfish

One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

2

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

food served

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

1

Nurse: Do you smoke?

granddad

Dad: Only when I’m on fire.



Photo: Featured Image: imgur (fair use: parody), 25. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 24. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 23. LaragiddingsofficialClownforlaragiddingsCC BY-SA 4.0, 22. Joseph Mischyshyn, Falcarragh – Spar convenience store off N56 – geograph.org.uk – 1332763CC BY-SA 2.0, 21. Wikipedia Commons.com (Public Domain), 20. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 19. User:MattesBad Säckingen — Speed bumpsCC BY 2.0 DE18. PROJohn Morgan via flickr. CC BY 2.0, 17. Wikipedia Commons.com (Public Domain), 16. User:SilvercatFull Moon JapanCC BY-SA 3.015. PublicDomainPictures.net (Public Domain), 14. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 13. Pexels.com (Public Domain), 12. Blackash at English WikipediaPerson-treeCC BY 3.011. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 10. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 9. James RickwoodCattle eating grass through barbed wire fenceCC BY 2.0, 8. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 7. Pexels.com (Public Domain), 6. Marcus Hansson from Göteborg, Sweden, Interior view of Stockholm Public LibraryCC BY 2.0, 5. Steve Troughton via flickr. (Public Domain), 4 – 2. Pixabay.com (Public Domain), 1. Jeremy Tarling via flickr. CC BY-SA 2.0

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