25 Crazy Things That Happen To You After You Die

Have you thought about some of the things that happen to you after you die? Unless you are a Turritopsis dohrnii (aka, biologically immortal jellyfish) you’re gonna die. The people you love are gonna die, your dog is gonna die, and that one super annoying co-worker you kind of not so secretly hate? They’re gonna die too.

As with everything else, it’s best to face unavoidable yet unpleasant things with knowledge and if at all possible, a sense of humor. To help you with the knowledge portion, here are 25 things that happen (or could happen) to you after you die.

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25

Everyone does it

Nofart.svgSource: https://www.calebwilde.com/

You fart. Like, a lot. Look, when you’re dead everything starts relaxing, and that allows all gases – and *ahem* bowel and bladder fluids – to release. Pretty much no part of death and decomposition is pretty, and honestly, farting is one of the least gross and disturbing parts.

24

There's a tax for that

savings-2789112_1280Source: http://www.taxpolicycenter.org

The Government still taxes you. Yeah, estate tax, it’s a thing. Quick recap – The government gets a cut when you earn the money via income tax, the government gets a cut when you spend money via sales tax, the government gets a payment yearly for allowing you to own property via property tax, and the government gets a cut of the money and valuables you leave behind to your family when you die via estate tax. Up to 40%. Taxes are more assured than death.

23

The best skin care routine

2017-11-30-18-17-05-1200x800Source: http://www.ranker.com

Some of your wrinkles go away. Your laugh and smile ones, and your forehead ones at least. Because there’s no tension left in your muscles to hold them there. Old, saggy, wrinkled skin is still…old, saggy, and wrinkled, though.

22

Lather and rinse

soap-1215027_1280Source: http://www.cracked.com

If pretty specific but not uncommon conditions are met, the fat in your corpse can turn into soap by a process called saponification. Fat is actually a pretty important ingredient in soap (any kind of fat, so like, coconut oil counts), so it makes sense.

21

Reflex

anatomy-2901129_1280Source: http://www.ranker.com

You twitch. Look, death isn’t an instant thing. It’s a process of a complex biological machine shutting down for the last time. And your brain dies before the rest of your nervous system and body do, so without the brain to control said nervous system, some random twitching and spamming may occur up until rigor mortis sets in.



Photo Credits: 25. Shutterstock, 24-22. Public Domain, 21. OpenStax via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY 4.0, 20. NIAID via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY 2.0, 19-15. Shutterstock, 14. Public Domain, 13-11. Shutterstock, 10-7. Public Domain, 6. mattjlc via commons.wikimedia.org CC BY 2.0, 5-4. Public Domain, 3-2. Shutterstock, 1. Magnus D via Flickr CC BY 2.0.

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