25 Things You Need to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by on March 26, 2012

We don’t want to beat around the bush with this one as we know that some of you reading this have probably waited for far too long and are now trying to desperately increase your chances of survival by googling for the things you need (good job on finding an internet connection by the way!). For the rest of you, your foresight is commendable and will likely serve you well in the future, but regardless of how hopeless your position is we are here to help you, and on that note these are the 25 things you need to survive the zombie apocalypse.


25

Gun

It should go without saying but you will absolutely need one of these. While we suggest a shotgun, sniper rifles and crossbows are also good options. Just remember that each one has its drawbacks. Shotguns are relatively easy to get your hands on as every Wal-Mart stocks them (if you can’t find a Wal-Mart though, just find a redneck, they’ll probably have several). Sniper rifles and crossbows can be a bit harder to find but its well worth it if you don’t want to get zombie guts on your clothes. Otherwise you’ll probably be interested in…

24

Goggles

Guts on your clothes are one thing but guts in your eye are another. It’s also absolutely critical that your eyewear have a solid elastic strap because there’s nothing worse than stabbing a zombie in the face after a picture perfect ninja roll only to have his guts explode in your eye because your goggles came off. Style points are always a plus though which brings us to…

23

Katana

It’s inevitable, you will eventually run out of ammunition. Just don’t panic. Although any blunt object will do samurai swords come highly recommended. Designed to sever spines with a flick of the wrist, zombies shouldnÕt be too much of a problem.

22

Vehicle

With all of these weapons hanging from your belt walking around is bound to be a hassle. Although there are numerous options available to you, tanks and monster trucks are probably going to be your best bets. Whatever you do though, avoid school busses!!! Anyone who’s ever seen a zombie movie knows how frustrating it is to always watch people die because they think that driving around town in a bus is a good idea. Busses are slow, they can’t go off road, and there are always zombies hiding under the seats.

21

Respirator

Depending on the type of outbreak, the virus may be airborne. Even if it isn’t though, keep in mind that you are going to be slashing your way through hordes of rotting dead people. Trust us…your nose will thank you.