You probably thought we were messing around…and you were right. Men don’t sew, they use superglue. We just thought we’d clarify for all the people who seem to think otherwise.
26 easy man points
Unfortunately they smell bad and break often. Slightly more fortunately they’re not that mechanically complicated. Anyone with a Y chromosome should be able to figure out some sort of fix. If not, however, see #10…and if still not…go to #1.
When it comes to bathroom usage, certain things go without saying. No peeking, keep talking to a minimum and most importantly, choose the correct urinal. The first one in should never choose the middle, in fact, the one farthest from the door is the only choice. After that, however, it’s like riding the London Underground. Try to leave as many spots open between you and the next person as possible.
Ideally you should be able to talk your way out of anything, but traffic tickets are the bare minimum. Just in case negotiations turn sour, however, you may benefit from knowing how to…
Hmmm….Well now that you have built the fire….are you going to COOK?? You better be able to because… Woman is now out of the kitchen. And I am on strike. and never mind the blood stain…now that you have the stain out…Can you work the washing machine???
or iron your own shirt??? lol
Men, if you can’t fix the toilet, I got nothing.
But if it breaks often, you have a bigger problem than a minor repair. One you might need to have a doctor look at.
I actually think removing blood from fabric is something that women will always know more about than men…
What about driving “stick shift”?… Everyman should know how to drive a “stick”!
u mean a manual car?
HHIS I sohlud have thought of that!
I feel like I know how to escape a sinking car. Is there something about it that I probably don’t know?
You’re suppose to wait until the car is filled with water until you open your door. Trying to open your door when there is an air gap all around you makes it extremely difficult to open the door and escape because of the different pressures, and it’ll send water smashing into your face.
Hey, subtle must be your mdidle name. Great post!
Also, you want to conserve all the energy that you have… So its better to let the door stay closed until the pressure level is even.
One small flaw in the “Wait for it to fill” plan. Namely, it will take a very long time.
How long can you hold your breath? Long enough for a car to completely fill with water and equalize pressure, then open the door, egress, and get all the way to the surface while wearing soaking-wet clothes and probably shoes as well? Bear in mind, the car is sinking deeper and deeper the whole time it’s filling up.
You’re probably better off getting a spring-loaded carbide centerpunch from a hardware store, and keeping it clipped to your seatbelt. That way, when/if the car goes into the water, you can just blow out the window and exit before the car submerges completely.
Just a thought, from a guy who used to work on the water, and then in emergency response.
I was sreiuosly at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.