25 Things Every Man Should Know How To Do

Posted by on November 8, 2011

Its quite sad really. For centuries “man-knowledge” was held in the highest esteem, guarded by an elite group knowledge guarders who ensured that men everywhere had easy access to the latest philosophies of manhood, or something like that. Ok, that might sound a bit Dan Brownish but it gets the point across. Modern man has lost his way in a maze of knowledge, not really sure how to tell what information is critical and what is unecessary. So, we are here to help. This is a list of 25 things every man should know how to do:
25

Build a fire

Hands down the manliest thing you will ever do in your life. Just remember…tinder, kindling, fuel.

24

Chop down a tree

The key here is to have an escape path. As soon as the tree starts to fall…use it.

23

Jumpstart a car

Of all the skills on our list, this is the one that you will be tested on most often. 2 cables, red=positive, don’t forget to ground.

22

Parallel park

Once you go for it…commit. The key is to never give up, at least if you want to be able to show your face in that part of town ever again.

21

Change oil

Granted, although this will probably only save you 5 dollars, man points are priceless! Just make sure you don’t bleed the transmission fluid.

20

Escape a sinking car

Although you many never actually find yourself in a situation requiring this skill, every time you cross a bridge you can enlighten your passengers as to what to do in case of structural failure…while simultaneously increasing your manliness.

19

Read an electric meter

Possibly the most confusing thing you will ever do in your life. It may just be best to see # 1.

18

Break up a fight

This is a sure-fire way to fill your tank of manliness. Not only are you standing in the middle of harms way, you are a responsible and mature adult. In spite of your flawless character, however, the nature of the situation leads us to our next point…

17

Fight

While this doesn’t mean signing up for karate lessons, any man worth his salt should be able to defend himself. And because you count yourself in that number it would probably behoove you to know…

16

CPR

Although it seems to always be changing, the key is to push hard and fast. And no matter what…don’t stop. Not surprisingly this leads us into our next skill…

15

Remove blood from fabric

You are a man and therefore well acquainted with the affinity blood has for your clothing. Just remember, no hot water!

14

Heimlich maneuver

Real men save others from impending doom, which involves opening obstructed airways. Just hug them from behind and squeeze the life into them.

13

Tie a tie

Just like tying your shoes makes you a human, tying your tie makes you a man.

12

Change a flat

Loosen bolts, jack car, remove bolts, remove tire, attach new tire, reattach bolts, lower car, tighten bolts, claim man points.

11

Point north

You should never not know where you are. A real man could find his way to the north pole blindfolded.

David Pegg

About

After helping found the United Nations, the United States, and United Airlines, David consigned himself to a transient life of writing lists and sleeping on park benches.

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  • Plaisham

    Hmmm….Well now that you have built the fire….are you going to COOK?? You better be able to because… Woman is now out of the kitchen. And I am on strike. and never mind the blood stain…now that you have the stain out…Can you work the washing machine???
    or iron your own shirt??? lol

  • Priss

    Men, if you can’t fix the toilet, I got nothing.

    But if it breaks often, you have a bigger problem than a minor repair. One you might need to have a doctor look at.

  • Tiff

    I actually think removing blood from fabric is something that women will always know more about than men…

  • gladwyn2000

    What about driving “stick shift”?… Everyman should know how to drive a “stick”!

    • eddie

      u mean a manual car?

  • http://www.google.com/ Marlien

    HHIS I sohlud have thought of that!

  • http://14clicks.com Nick

    I feel like I know how to escape a sinking car. Is there something about it that I probably don’t know?

    • http://twitter.com/MichealKennedy Mike Kennedy

      You’re suppose to wait until the car is filled with water until you open your door. Trying to open your door when there is an air gap all around you makes it extremely difficult to open the door and escape because of the different pressures, and it’ll send water smashing into your face.

      • http://www.yahoo.com/ Demelza

        Hey, subtle must be your mdidle name. Great post!

      • http://www.wpbeginner.com Syed Balkhi

        Also, you want to conserve all the energy that you have… So its better to let the door stay closed until the pressure level is even.

        • FormerWaterman

          One small flaw in the “Wait for it to fill” plan. Namely, it will take a very long time.
          How long can you hold your breath? Long enough for a car to completely fill with water and equalize pressure, then open the door, egress, and get all the way to the surface while wearing soaking-wet clothes and probably shoes as well? Bear in mind, the car is sinking deeper and deeper the whole time it’s filling up.

          You’re probably better off getting a spring-loaded carbide centerpunch from a hardware store, and keeping it clipped to your seatbelt. That way, when/if the car goes into the water, you can just blow out the window and exit before the car submerges completely.

          Just a thought, from a guy who used to work on the water, and then in emergency response.

          • Drew

            crack the window ASAP when in the water to keep it from getting stuck then roll it the rest of the way down lol that’s the best way or be a man and keep a knife on you with a seatbelt cutter and window smasher, a guy should never leave the house home without his knife..

    • http://www.facebook.com/ Marilee

      I was sreiuosly at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.