Believe it or not, human children are not born with any social skills. While wolf and lion cubs may, perhaps, be born with some sort of pack instinct, human babies just don’t bear that burden. What they do have are clever, inquisitive minds, strong wills, and working bowels. If you’ve had a child, we’re sure you’ve experienced a few moments of embarrassment courtesy of your offspring. If you need a giggle, or perhaps to just not feel so alone in your spit-up stained yoga pants, here are 25 Hilarious Parenting Stories Of Inappropriate Kid Moments.
“My daughter dropped her pacifier on the living room floor today. I picked it up and put it back in her mouth without washing it.” (We aren't judging).
"I was taking my granddaughter, 4, back home after she spent the week with me. While in the bathroom at an Applebee's, she cried "I want my mother!" in front of a state trooper. We left the men's room and went to our table, and she was still whimpering. The state trooper came over and asked me for some ID...I guess just doing his job. I explained that she was my granddaughter and that I was taking her home. He then asked my granddaughter if I was her grandfather. She shook her head no. Then added with a big smile, 'He is my Poppy.'"
"At the zoo my son and his friend were running off a lot. So I told them if they ran off that a Gorilla would come out of the trees and get them. It worked!"
"I was so excited to fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, that when my daughter was 3 months old, I wore white to a Sunday picnic. Two hours into the picnic, a nine-year-old informed me that I had poop all down my dress, by pointing at me and making loud gagging noises. While, I don’t blame the kid, I do wish he would have stopped doing it after I went home and changed."
"Once, in the middle of the store, my six year old loudly proclaimed "I WANT TO BE A POLE DANCER!"
Photos: Feature image: shutterstock, 23. Kiddies Korner via CC BY 2.0, 19. Michael Bentley via flickr, CC BY 2.0, 18. Frédérique Voisin-Demery via flickr, CC BY-2.0, 14. Jencu via flickr, CC BY-2.0, 13. Caleb Zahnd via flickr, CC BY-2.0, 6. Nikodem Nijaki, Guacamole IMGP1271, CC BY-SA 3.0, 5. Crisco 1492, Pacifier for newborn, 2015-07-12, CC BY-SA 4.0, 4. Anthony92931, Applebee’s night view, CC BY-SA 3.0