25 Hilarious Michael Scott Quotes

Posted by , Updated on March 23, 2024

Do you consider yourself a big enthusiast of The Office? Of course, most people do. However, even those uncommon individuals who have never laid eyes on a single episode can still enjoy the comedic impact of a TV show character that has bequeathed us some of the most unforgettable quips in recent history. Presenting: 25 Laugh-out-loud Michael Scott Quotes!

25

"Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown."

Charlie BrownSource: imdb.com
24

"Nobody likes beets, Dwight! Why don't you grow something that everybody does like? You should grow candy."

candySource: wikiquote.com
23

"I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday."

whisperSource: reddit.com
22

"It takes you thirty seconds to brush your teeth? Wow that's ten times as long as it takes me."

toothbrushSource: reddit.com
21

"Yes, it is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username. And I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."

good ideaSource: imdb.com
20

"You know what they say, 'Fool me once, strike one, but fool me twice...strike three."

questionSource: imdb.com
19

"I’ve got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this."

youtubeSource: reddit.com
18

"Now, you may look around and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. And you know why not? Because I am collar-blind."

suitSource: reddit.com
17

"I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms."

owlSource: wikiquote.com
16

"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate. So he’s really not a part of our family. Also, he’s divorced, so he’s really not a part of his family."

boozeSource: reddit.com
15

"I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish...sort of a virtual United Nations."

unSource: wikiquote.com
14

"It's not like booze ever killed anyone."

beerSource: imdb.com
13

"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

catSource: reddit.com
12

"My mind is going a mile an hour"

brainSource: wikiquote.com
11

"Abraham Lincoln once said, 'If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North,' and those are the principles I carry with me into the workplace."

lincolnSource: imdb.com
10

"And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do."

shrugSource: imdb.com
9

"Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I dunno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me - no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make."

showerSource: reddit.com
8

"Well, just tell him to call me ASAP as possible."

asapSource: imdb.com
7

"Two queens on Casino Night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody."

poopSource: reddit.com
6

"It just seems awfully mean. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean."

mean faceSource: wikiquote.com
5

"When I said that I was king of forwards, you got to understand that I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another."

drugsSource: reddit.com
4

"Presents are the best way to show how much you care. It's a tangible thing you can point at and say, "Hey man, I love you. This many dollars worth."

giftSource: wikiquote.com
3

“If I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

gunSource: imdb.com
2

"Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing."

dancingSource: wikiquote.com
1

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

heart hands cropSource: reddit.com


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