25 Goofy Medical Questions

Posted by , Updated on August 10, 2017

Are you afraid to go to the doctor’s office? Well, you shouldn’t be. It’s important to your health. Maybe today we can help you lighten the mood a bit with some medically related comic relief. Medical inquiries don’t always have to be serious right? These are 25 Goofy Medical Questions!

25

If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable?

deer
24

What's the last thing you want to hear in the middle of surgery?

watch

Where’s my watch?

23

Why did Hitler go to the optometrist?

hitler

Because he could Nazi.

22

Why do surgeons wear masks?

surgery

So no one will recognize them when they make a mistake!

21

Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly?

pills

So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills!


20

Why do politicians make the best patients?

politics

They have no guts, no heart, no spine, and both ends are interchangeable (you know…the head and the…other side).

19

What did the doctor advise the patient who broke her leg in 2 places?

wheelchair

Stop going to those places!

18

What did one tonsil say to the other?

tonsils

Get dressed, the doctor is taking us out tonight!

17

What do you call the person who finished last in med school?

doctor

Doctor

16

What do you call a doctor that fixes websites?

internet

A URLologist!

15

What do you call a doctor who treats retired soldiers?

soldier

A veteran-arian!

14

Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. Have you got anything to keep it in?

bald

How about a cardboard box?

13

What is the medical term for owning too many dogs?

dog

A Roverdose!

12

Did you hear about the baby that was born in the high tech delivery room?

baby

It was cordless!

11

What's responsible for a broken suture?

suture

The jerk at the end!

10

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

hyena

He’s all right now!

9

What part of the United States produces the largest number of cardiologists?

heart

The Heartland!

8

Where does an injured sandwich go?

sandwich

The Mayo Clinic!

7

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?

apples

Only if you aim it well enough!

6

What did the patient say to the radiologist after swallowing some coins?

coins

Do you see any change in me?

5

Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?

glasses

He made a spectacle of himself!

4

What do they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work?

alternative medicine

Medicine

3

Many people suffer terribly from hay fever.

dandelion

Isn’t this news simply a pollen?

2

What did the doctor say to the man who thought he was a vampire?

vampire

Necks please!

1

Why did the monk reject Novocaine when he went to his dentist?

dentist

He wanted to transcend dental medication!

Photos: Featured Image: shutterstock, 25-19. pixabay (public domain), 18. wikimedia commons (public domain), 17-12. pixabay (public domain), 11. Olek Remesz (wiki-pl: Orem, commons: Orem), Simple interrupted sutureCC BY-SA 2.5, 10-1. pixabay (public domain)

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