25 Disingenuous Things People Say Every Day

Posted by , Updated on February 14, 2017

Although we take them for granted, there are numerous things that both we and the people around us say that aren’t really meant to be taken at face value. For example, if someone asks you how you are doing, your response will likely be something along the lines of “good, thanks,” regardless of your current situation. These are 25 Disingenuous Things People Say Every Day.

Featured Image: Julia Rauluseviciute via flickr

25

Did you find everything okay?

store

Well, that’s why I’m here at the checkout counter…because I found everything. If I didn’t find everything, I wouldn’t be here yet. But that’s okay. I know it’s part of your script.

24

“Tell *insert name here* I said hi!” “Ok, of course I will.”

throne of lies

You’re both liars….lol

23

We need to talk more.

i miss your absenceImage: someecards.com

This is what people say when the conversation is almost over, and they don’t have any interest in talking to you more.

22

Till death do us part

wedding-dateImage: pixabay (public domain)

Or…until this marriage becomes inconvenient. 

21

Just a second

watchImage: pixabay.com (public domain)

It’s always more than a second.


20

That’s funny!

so funny

If it were actually funny, you’d be actually laughing.

19

Call me if you need anything.

don't do it

Translation – please don’t call me. I hope everything works out, though!

18

Do you want a bite?

pizzaImage: pexels

I just got this food, and I really hope you say no, but I’m offering because that’s the nice thing to do.

17

I’m fine.

sure

In the vast majority of circumstances, this means the direct opposite.

16

I’ll have a look later.

yeah right

No, you won’t.

15

I hate/love that.

haters gonna hate

It really only means that they dislike/like it.

14

lol

lol

No, you’re not.

13

I won’t tell anyone.

secret

Well…I’ll only tell people who I don’t think will tell anyone else.

12

I hate drama.

drama

What they really means is that they hate being involved in drama. But they love to start it. And watch it unfold.

11

I’m just not ready for a relationship

it's you

…with you.

10

I’m moving to Canada when *insert event here*

canada

No, you’re not. Besides, they don’t want you anyway.

9

Thoughts and prayers to all the victims

thoughts and prayers

Says every politician ever. A relatively accurate translation would be, “people died, but we are not going to do anything about it except maybe try to boost our voting base.”

8

Ouch

pain

Usually uttered after barely bumping into something. When it really does hurt, people don’t typically say much of anything at all because all their energy goes into clenching their teeth.

7

I don’t care what other people think about me.

i don't care

But you want people to think that you’re a person who doesn’t care what other people think about you…so apparently you care about that.

6

Literally

literally

Usually, they mean “figuratively.”

5

I am 18 years of age or older.

18 or older

Says every teenager that’s not 18 and wants to watch that youtube video.

4

No offense, but *insert offense here*

no offense

Well, normally that would be super offensive, but since you prefaced it with “no offense,” it’s not offensive at all!

3

I have read and agreed to the terms of service.

terms and conditions

You mean you scrolled down looking for the agree button.

2

Your call is very important to us.

phoneImage: www.pexels.com (public domain)

Yeah, right!

1

We should meet up sometime.

calendarImage: www.photos-public-domain.com

Translation – I really don’t care if we meet again because otherwise I would make plans with you right now.

 

Photos: 25. Nate Grigg via flickr, 8. Steven Depolo via flickr, 3. nyphotographic.com via jphotostyle.com

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