I thought it was a letter and accidentally mailed it to my Grandma Maude overseas.
Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.
An Honest Mistake
Buffalo Bill from “The Silence of the Lambs” mistook it for a piece of human flesh and stole it to add to his collection.
I let somebody copy it and they never gave it back.
Doctor Who needed my help to save the human race and a dalek exterminated it just before I re-entered the TARDIS.
Lists Going Viral Right Now
It spontaneously combusted and vaporized.
The FBI confiscated it because they claimed it was vital evidence.
Tiger in the Bathroom
I was pet-sitting Mike Tyson’s tiger and it escaped from my bathroom and ate my homework.
A Good Deed
I gave it to a homeless man to help him insulate his cardboard box.
Kanye West ripped it up because he thought Beyonce’s homework was better.
Katie Holmes mistook it for one of her divorce papers and signed a hole right through it.
My little sister wanted to prove she could shoot an arrow as well as Katniss Everdeen and decided to use my homework as the target.
Pen Ran Out of Ink
My pen ran out of ink so I decided to go buy another one. I got lost on the way back and was eventually taken home by a tourist who fortunately had a map. When I tried the pen though, it was a dud and I couldn’t go buy another one or I would probably never get home.
I found the assignment to be uninspiring, so I read a book about the life of Mother Teresa instead.
I got mugged on the way home.
We ran out of toilet paper last night…
My friend made a paper airplane out of it and it landed on the roof.
Off With My Head
I went to London on vacation and the Queen threatened to cut off my head if I didn’t give her my homework.
Romney Ryan 2012
My dad ripped it to shreds when Mitt Romney announced his vice presidential running mate.
A Blind Eye
I got soap in my eyes and went blind until just now.
Blame It on the Rain
I have a solar-powered calculator and it was cloudy.
I didn’t want to add to my teacher’s heavy workload.
Terrorists kidnapped me and they just let me go, so I didn’t have time to do it.
Usain Bolt sprinted past me, causing a sudden gust of wind that propelled the assignment from my hand.
V thought it was so well written, he decided to use it as propaganda for his revolution.